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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 06-02-2015, 01:21 AM
nfc4ever nfc4ever is offline
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Default Establishing a Parenting Schedule when you travel a lot.

We are still moving along at a snails pace towards getting an access schedule in place. Ex has now decided to pull the plug on my visits a couple of weeks ago, and would prefer to deny all of my access, and increase the amount of support I pay. We have an interim support order that is lower than table due to the cost of obtaining access. (She now has a LAO Lawyer)

Apparently Ex's ex-husband has EOW on my D15 as well, consequently EX isn't happy about now only having 1 weekend a month with the daughter. Yet she's happy to welcome my CS with open arms.

The tough part is I live 500km away from D15, and my job requires me to travel a fair bit. Its common to be asked on a Friday to fly out on Sunday night to be at a customer for Monday morning. My employer already gives me an accommodation to black out travel on dates when I have to bring my son in for therapy. They won't grant a second accommodation. Nor will they cover flights from the ex's local airport.

I understand that it helps to have a schedule that spells out specific dates for access. I'm curious to see if there's anyone else in a similar situation. I'm trying to come up with something that would maximize my face time with my kid. On a weekend where I have to travel, the weekend becomes drive like a banshee Friday night, spend all day Saturday with her, sleep, and race back home to get to the airport. Versus having morning and early afternoon in a normal weekend.

I don't think the ex will do anything flexible, as she's been tough to deal with.

Advice would be appreciated.
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Old 06-02-2015, 09:23 AM
Dadx5 Dadx5 is offline
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Just to clarify you have access with the 15 year old daughter but not weekend access with the son you take to therapy? How old is he?

If ex isn't going to be accommodating at all then I don't think you will have a lot of options. If you are getting weekend access and its your job that is interfering not her denying.

Is there a week night that you could meet for dinner, or do skpe and phone calls to get a little extra contact during the week?

Is there the possibility that D15 maybe takes a train to your town on some weekends that way you wouldn't need to rush so much on the sunday mornings?
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Old 06-02-2015, 10:18 AM
nfc4ever nfc4ever is offline
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To clarify D15 is with a former girlfriend. I have 1x a month access per a temporary order. Though I would love more access, I'm tied to Ottawa due to proximity to family - mine and my wifes, and my son's social assistance network. We email and Skype as well.

I have an additional three kids with my wife who reside with me and my wife. The child who needs weekly therapy is from this group. I take him every second week and my wife takes him the other.

Ex gf came out of the woodwork and said, Surprise you have a kid, now give me money. After DNA was established we got a temporary order for support and access. Since significant travel expenses exist to establish the relationship my lawyer requested less than table and got it. Per the agreement ex is on the hook for travel expenses if I show up and she denies access. She did deny two weeks ago, but at least had the decency to email me two days before.

We have mediation scheduled for September. It was supposed to happen this may, but ex failed to provide financials that were not erroneous. When I showed her financials to my friend the Accountant, my friend commented that she's under an ethical obligation to report suspected tax evasion to the CRA.

I'm leaning towards amending my claim to include having D15 evaluated and potentially treated for parental alienation. Challenge is that ex is an employee of CAS, and there are few psychiatrists in her city who are independent of CAS.
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Old 06-02-2015, 10:35 AM
Dadx5 Dadx5 is offline
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Parental alienation is so extremely hard to prove. With child being 15 by the time you were to get an order she would be old enough that she probably wouldn't be bound by the order.

Since you are so far and your commitments are there and she has commitments with other people as well could you ask for some extra summer time.

So something like you have now for her to get comfortable with you, then a week in July and a week in August where she comes to you so she can spend time with you and also meet her half siblings.
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  #5  
Old 06-04-2015, 09:33 PM
nfc4ever nfc4ever is offline
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I have a few proposals for access that align with my vacation that I've given her prior to mediation.

Challenge is she talks a lot, but won't commit to anything. I make proposals and just get a song and dance. She plays dumb about not knowing family law, and what is reasonable, but she already has an ex husband paying SS and CS, so its not her first waltz. Apparently he was in my girls life for a fair bit and has access.

I tried calling her out on it, after she denied access, and she went Ape$hit on me. But she did give me some great quotes that I can use if it goes to trial.

Deep down, I think that she just wants to go to court, and roll the bones to get the biggest payout that she can, and not give up any access - the have her cake and eat it too syndrome.
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