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  • #76
    We have all made mistakes. Please take my advice, step back. Stop. Think. Listen. Read.
    No one is judging you that you are not a good parent... that is all your ex's mental abuse that's making you think that way
    In time, you will re-read your posts and think wow, who is this, man I was really a mess at this time, we have all done that. I look at my first posts and think "WOW" good thing I got my butt kicked on this forum
    Everyone here is just wanting to help you but you are not getting the whole picture

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    • #77
      I hope you can answer my question then , is 50/50 cut and dry ...mon, tues, weds and 1/2 day thurs at her place then 1/2 thurs , then fri and sat and sun at my place ...and thats it?.....if thats it then ...its wrong,.

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      • #78
        thats all I was asking.

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        • #79
          Sadly, you have allowed a status quo to develop that puts the kids with her most of the time. That is going to be very difficult to overcome. You have almost certainly given your ex primary residence, and it sounds like she has de facto custody, meaning that she could have a strong argument for sole legal custody.

          In one and a half days, this thread has grown to 80 posts. You need to stop posting every hour or two and spend some (no, make that LOTS of) time doing a search in this forum and elsewhere (google) about the strength of the status quo when it comes to custody and access.

          Sorry to put it bluntly to you, but you have an obligation to yourself and your kids to educate yourself instead of just constantly asking questions of every one here. Do some research on your own.

          Read, read, read and then read some more. And when you're done reading, read some more. Do some research instead of continuing to state your case and ask questions. Then when you're done reading in a few days and you have educated yourself, come back and ask some questions with an informed mind.

          Jeeezz this is f'n over the top!!
          Last edited by dadtotheend; 03-10-2010, 01:59 PM.

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          • #80
            Originally posted by tugofwar View Post
            As I learned quickly this is not a support group.
            NO it's a dating site and apparently I missed out!

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            • #81
              Ok look , I have tried to research everything , this is not new to me , I have been doing this for nearly 3 yrs , you think I have just been sitting back and doing nothing ....there are plenty of sites out there , and its all a mess of case files , not all cases are the same , and DADTOTHEEND, I am sick of reading , and sick of seeing men...good men being run threw the mud, from women who do this for the sake of sinking their hooks in deeper and using kids as tools to hold onto a shitty relationship. The laws as they are now ARE ridiculous, My ex is NOT my mother and should never be able to tell me I can not see my kids, BUT that is what happens , and I do know its not just my ex , So im not all that concerned as to what the lop sided courts think , when and if I have to go to court I will make MY opinion heard I will assure you that. In most cases a blind man can see who is trying to be a good parent and who is using kids as tools to hurt. I dont know YOUR story , but im sure it was unpleasant as well, It should not matter at all how many posts i put up??? I am not trying to be nasty , I am trying to remain calm and see if anyone can advise me as to a peaceful resolve , as apposed to going into court and have the woman get everything she demands ...Now I like women , it's how I got into this mess, but I can see how being gay is appealing to some men who have had enough.

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              • #82
                Did you forget about the mothers who are forced to happily send their child along to live with a father 50-50 who is only taking them to get out of CS? Or those that must continue to be controlled by their ex through the kids?

                Divorce and kids do not go together, and if you want a sob story, you've found the right place to hear one. People who can successfully negotiate divorce, custody etc do not end up on a forum like this, or else they get what they need and move on.

                Your story is unique, but it is no more and no less traumatizing that anyone elses. Your best bet is to follow the advice you are getting and start making a plan on how you are going to move forward. Wallowing in self pity will get you nowhere and will extend the benefit of the status quo to your ex.

                Nobody can move this forward but you.

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                • #83
                  Billiechic, does a good father have to have a dollar amount beside it ???? If that is your idea of a good father you are sadly mistaken , and if so then you are no better then the man who wants 50/50 to get out of CS. In MY opinion money should never even come into a conversation about kids...A broke loving father is better then a rich unloving father. Dispute that if you can.

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                  • #84
                    I am NOT wallowing in self pity....I have wonderful kids and love them more then life itself, that is a fact and nobody will take them from me. Again I state there are great moms and great dads , as their are horrible ones as well . Opinions are like assholes everyone has one, you may not agree with me or like me but understand my kids are everything to me and no im not rich but my ex can have everything ...the house the truck the dogs....just let me have my kids 100% of the time ...I promise you I would never ask for a dime from her, Why ? cuz i have all I need ...my kids.

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                    • #85
                      You are posting every hour on average for the last two days, including time you spend sleeping.

                      I'm not indulging your selfish woe is me, look at me, answer my knee jerk questions while I dream up the next useless post self anymore.

                      You screwed up letting her establish a status quo for 2 1/2 years and only now do come crying to a bunch of well intentioned people hoping they continue and continue and continue to listen to you.

                      This guy doesn't deserve any more attention until he decides to help himself. That he doesn't even understand about status quo tells us that he hasn't bothered to research even the most basic elements of what's important here. Instead, he would rather have everyone hop to it on every whimiscal question that he has.

                      Put in a little effort yourself. When you do that instead of blah blah blah, I'll the first to listen. Until then, bye bye....

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                      • #86
                        lol wow ...blah ...I get the status quo...blah, I get it .....not looking for a hug, Im looking for a way of having peace in my life...blah and again I had nothing to do with the status quo at all ...blah THAT IS THE FUKING PROBLEM! THE KIDS WERE TAKEN FROM ME! BLAH!

                        And yes there has been alot of posts , Not because I have nothing better to do , but because it's the most important thing in my life , no I dont sleep , no I dont eat , WHY? because I miss my kids you jackass.
                        Last edited by Tim Cash; 03-10-2010, 06:18 PM. Reason: more to say

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                        • #87
                          You're not going to find what you need on this forum.

                          Go and find someone knowledgeable to talk to face to face.

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                          • #88
                            dinkyface , you beat me too it ...lol for some reason, some people think I need a hug? lol I truly don't what I do need is a lawyer.

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                            • #89
                              Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                              NO it's a dating site and apparently I missed out!
                              I would have gone to the movies with you, you never asked me!!

                              And tug never asked me for coffee!!

                              And NBdad hasn't asked me out either!

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                              • #90
                                Originally posted by Mess View Post
                                I would have gone to the movies with you, you never asked me!!

                                And tug never asked me for coffee!!

                                And NBdad hasn't asked me out either!
                                Maybe we should start posting our pics in our profiles. Meet and greet? LMFAO

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