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  • #16
    Originally posted by arabian View Post
    My divorce was done through a binding JDR (Judicial Dispute Resolution). It relatively simple and inexpensive. We had one useless 4-way meeting and 9 months later, after JDR, I was divorced. I really don't know why more people don't use binding arbitration. I don't have any experience in child-custody matters but from what I've observed there is alot of wasted time with all of the conferences. Most people just want to present the facts and have someone make a decision as they can't come to an agreement on their own. What a total waste of time and money.

    My lengthy litigation was due to my ex wanting to overturn the SS quantum. He tried many times but was never successful, thus the resultant revolving door syndrome in court. We are hopeful that we won't have to go back to court for a year. Normal people exchange financials and sign consent to adjust things. Not my ex!
    I share your feelings. I too have an ex who is a crazy person.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by ninehundredt View Post
      Based on what you've said in regards to my particular situation (relatively uncomplicated) I think it would be best to maintain self representation until the matter heads for trial. I can always have my representation status changed before an actual trial so she can step in for the hard stuff.
      This would be your best bet. Conferences are a waste for your lawyer to be there. Once everything has been filed and conferences have been done, just have your lawyer do the trial.

      Conferences are such a waste because if the other party was willing to settle you wouldn't have had to bring it to court.

      Have your lawyer review your documents and use resources online and you'll be all set.

      Remember, be mindful of your lawyers time. Money is key, because often the other party can drag things on and over communicate with lawyers to drain funds. The person with money left in the bank usually is the one that doesn't have to settle.

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      • #18
        What happens if you lose a trial and have no way of paying the $50k+? Bankruptcy?
        For some people: yes.

        This is also an incentive to settle. If assets are being disputed, the risk is everyone pays their lawyers more than they will obtain at a hearing, and if the other side declares bankruptcy the costs are wiped (possibly after the assets have been spent).

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        • #19
          Most lawyers will not assist you with a trial (prep or otherwise) without a large retainer. We were asked for 30K 4 months prior to the trial date.

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          • #20
            Most lawyers will not assist you with a trial (prep or otherwise) without a large retainer. We were asked for 30K 4 months prior to the trial date.
            A rule of thumb used by many lawyers is 10k/day of trial. The majority of work needs to be done well in advance of trial. As Arabian notes above lawyers are running a business and no (prudent) business would risk losing a month of completed work to a bankruptcy, hence protecting accounts by requiring a retainer in advance.

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            • #21
              Yes and the great thing about a 30k legal bill from a Trial. The Order from a Trial can easily be thrown into the garbage by the other party for whatever reason after it, and it's almost impossible to use Contempt of Court in Family Court

              The Court system is clogged with people trying to enforce Orders it's ridiculous. Judges don't enforce there Order's and because they don't throw the book at people for disobeying a Court Order the Trials are a joke.

              Not to mention the perjury and continous lying under oath that goes on at Trials
              Last edited by MrToronto; 05-13-2014, 03:16 PM.

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              • #22
                From what I'm hearing I'll have to represent myself at trial anyway, as there is no way possible for me to afford a lawyer under those circumstances. At the same time it is likely the same situation with my ex. I very much doubt she could come up with $30k let alone $10k in preparation for a trial.

                Hoping it doesn't come to this.

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                • #23
                  I'll have to represent myself at trial anyway, as there is no way possible for me to afford a lawyer under those circumstances. At the same time it is likely the same situation with my ex.
                  If the issues are money, this would be an excellent reason to settle.

                  If the issues are children, why not reach an agreement and put the money saved into an RESP?

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
                    If the issues are money, this would be an excellent reason to settle.

                    If the issues are children, why not reach an agreement and put the money saved into an RESP?
                    The only point of dispute is custody and access. There is no debate over any assets. I want joint custody and she wants sole custody.

                    There is no rationale for this going to trial. I'm merely preparing myself for how stubborn my ex is. Most sensible people would find my offer more than fair.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by sioux View Post
                      In otherwords.....she wants more money i.e. table amount as opposed to an offset amount. What are the reasons she has given to date? Am sure a judge will like to now why she wants sole custody
                      No I don't believe money is an issue, as I'm presently paying full guideline CS. She can't get more, and is not eligible for SS.

                      Her reasoning for sole custody is frivolous. She basically says that she doesn't trust me, and that I'm unreliable. That's her case. No evidence/proof to back any of it up. Just wasting everyone's time and money to drag out the inevitable.

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                      • #26
                        Be careful Ninehundredt. My ex is claiming that i make it difficult for decisions to be made and therefore should have Sole Custody.

                        Her claims are false and baseless. In fact, I have evidence to prove that it is her who makes decisions difficult by being unreasonable and inconsistent.

                        If your ex has sought legal advice, your ex was probably coached on how to proceed with her claims.


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by OntarioDaddyMan View Post
                          Be careful Ninehundredt. My ex is claiming that i make it difficult for decisions to be made and therefore should have Sole Custody.

                          Her claims are false and baseless. In fact, I have evidence to prove that it is her who makes decisions difficult by being unreasonable and inconsistent.

                          If your ex has sought legal advice, your ex was probably coached on how to proceed with her claims.


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                          I also have evidence (all her emails since the dawn of time) which will be submitted during the case. Based on what I've read on Tayken's threads, judges don't want to hear a lot of BS. Simple facts move mountains. I'm counting on this. Hopefully things will work out in our favor.

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