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  • #31
    Don't go overboard with asking for access. You don't want to seem obsessive. Ask for special occasions etc... that's it.

    You need to go to trial in May.

    You argue that the LEGAL status quo is 50/50 and if the judge tries to render a decision based on the current non-prejudicial status quo you must contest and then appeal. You can only accept a transition to resettle the kids in your care but nothing less.

    Then you go through the motions of "Best interests of kids"....
    She doesn't facilitate access for no good reason.
    You were involved dad
    Kids benefit blah blah

    I don't believe in negotiating with people who want sole custody and anything more than 50% equalization. Take them to court, beat them and move on.

    Comment


    • #32
      Don't go overboard with asking for access. You don't want to seem obsessive. Ask for special occasions etc... that's it.
      I disagree. You "are obsessive" about seeing your child .. any parent would be. I sent out 2 per week and made a nice, color coded monthly access denial chart that the judge really appreciated. The more the judge sees denials, the worse she looks. Of course you dont go crazy psycho with 14 e-mails a day. Common sense stuff .....but your ex is praying you dont ask for these things a lot in writing...so do it.

      Mr.Toronto and a few others helped e formulate what we called "blitz e-mails" twice per week. Asking to exchange parenting plans, separation agreements, graduated access schedules, www.ourfamilywizard.com for improved communication, requests for mediation and/or family counseling, etc.

      The reason? To show the judge a) You Want To See Your Kids ; b)You want to stay OUT of court ; c) You're resolution focused and very reasonable.

      I think Links is confusing "negotiating" with setting up some nice exhibits for court. We already know she'll say no to everything....you're just collecting her unreasonable denials so you have ore than "he said/she said" for the judge.
      Last edited by LovingFather32; 12-18-2016, 03:35 PM.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
        Mr.Toronto ...
        Whatever happened to that poster. Dropped off the face of the planet.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by Tayken View Post
          Whatever happened to that poster. Dropped off the face of the planet.
          Very good question.

          Comment


          • #35
            Facing a new dilemma...

            While I was negotiating a payment plan with FRO for my CS arrears, my STBX called them to get paid ASAP and I got a letter from FRO stating that my salary will be garnished at 50%. I cannot meet my months on only 50% of my revenu. The worst is that she knew from my last affidavit that I was in a poor financial situation and she presently have a net disposable income of 2K more than me. What a pain! I must fight that in Court but the problem is, being on the trial list, I need a permission to request a motion.

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            • #36
              I must also point out that the arrears are due to the time I lost access to my home and kids and didn't agree on the parenting schedule she was forcing me to accept. By law, I have no choice but to pay those arrears. I was already paying CS with FRO and never mist a payment... why the hell are they forcing garnishments even though I was a good payer? FRO really makes the payers (mostly the men) look like we are assholes. The intentions is to cause more stress to the payers and to make their life miserable.

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              • #37
                I was at 0% of my revenue for a year, at 50% for like 2 years straight... they don't give a crap. Just put it on credit cards and then go bankrupt at the end.... I'm rich and debt free now

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                • #38
                  I know for a lot of people bankruptcy is an easy way out... or I should say it is the ONLY way... sadly. For me, it is not an option as I already bought my new house. I prefer making the best I can until the system makes me go homeless. I don't like the cold so I will need to move South.

                  They cannot garnish more than 50% of your revenu. How did you survive on 0%? Were you homeless during that period?

                  I would say I am also at 0% since she has the house, the children and all my money. Next, she will go after my life as there is nothing left to steel from me.
                  Last edited by mafia007; 12-23-2016, 07:49 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Lying by omission seems to be the strategy for many who have to pay support.

                    Standard of living often reveals someone's true income.

                    If you feel the current order for support is inappropriate you have the option of going to court and having the amount adjusted. Maintenance enforcement agencies can only alter the amount you pay if they feel you are suffering undue hardship. Good luck convincing them though... they're not stupid and require corroborating information. If you are an honest debtor you should be okay though.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                      I was at 0% of my revenue for a year, at 50% for like 2 years straight... they don't give a crap. Just put it on credit cards and then go bankrupt at the end.... I'm rich and debt free now
                      Not a good idea if you own a home. If you don't own a home, want bad credit for the next 7 years, and want to screw the government right back, then yes, excellent idea.

                      Best bet, stay up to date with Child Support no matter what, get a low interest credit line and give them everything you owe and pay your credit line company couple hundred dollars a month, and maybe put it on your mortgage. I would say that would be cheaper than trying to fight FRO while dealing with access issues. It won't be worth the headache.
                      Last edited by trinton; 12-23-2016, 09:51 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by arabian View Post
                        Lying by omission seems to be the strategy for many who have to pay support.

                        Standard of living often reveals someone's true income.

                        If you feel the current order for support is inappropriate you have the option of going to court and having the amount adjusted. Maintenance enforcement agencies can only alter the amount you pay if they feel you are suffering undue hardship. Good luck convincing them though... they're not stupid and require corroborating information. If you are an honest debtor you should be okay though.
                        Current order for support is the table amount I have to pay by law. It is too high but I was making those payments with no issues and up to date. The problem is the arrears over 8K$. I've requested they hold those arrears until trial but the other scumbag lawyer sent the order to FRO. I'll be getting 2K$ per month and just my mortgage and taxes are 1782$. The household expenses is between 800 to 1000$ a month. I was in the red big time and couldn't reimburse my legal fees. Now I won't be able to pay for the utility bills and the interest on my legal fees will just rise like hell. Ridiculous. I have to hold until Trial in May. Why does Divorce = deeply in debts. I had no debts out of my mortgage during my mariage and did not have to budget. Now I can budget the best I can and I won't make it. More and more ridiculous.

                        I need to bring a motion to hold those arrears until trial.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          The trial is in the spotlight

                          Hi folks,

                          It's been a long time since I last visited, but I've been very busy. I have spent the rest of my time since the New Year, compiling evidence, doing research, consulting with the legal aid office in Ottawa, seeking jurisprudence and writing several documents.

                          In January I had the CAS report containing the notes on the investigation that took place and the information reveals several facts that will surely have a bearing on my trial. I was shocked to read what the children said, what their mother tried to do, and what the intervener said. PAS was detected and the mother was warned since she deliberately involved the children in the conflict.

                          I am now to prepare the followings as I have compiled the information and drafted some of my presentation;

                          1- form 17E Conference Brief
                          2- book of exhibits
                          3- book of authorities
                          4- opening statement
                          5- closing statement (will definitely be revised accordingly and during trial for sure)
                          6- historical of my testimony (will have my own keynotes pad to remember the sequel of events as I don't have a lawyer to ask me questions)
                          7- Trial record
                          8- offer to settle (done and served but will probably do another or two)
                          9- form 35.1 Custody/Access
                          10- need to update both form 13.1 and 13B for financial statements.

                          I got a lot of questions answered concerning my evidence but I still need some info.

                          1- How do we present our evidence before the court?

                          a) During your testimony, do you refer to the evidence as Exhibit XX in the book of evidence?
                          b) Can you present the evidence as a batch of documents or they need to be presented one by one? I know it's better if it's directly related to a document like a financial statement. But what if I want to show that my request for access were always an issue. Can I say "see exhibit x from the book showing all my requests for access that were denied?" and have all my 50+ requests filed in that tab?
                          c) for ease of reference, I was to highlight the specific passage so the judge can only stick directly to what is relevant.
                          d) is Form 22 Admission of facts really necessary if my evidence will be served and filed before trial? (most of them are emails and the notes from CAS)

                          2- How do we present jurisprudence?

                          a) do we refer to them during our closing argument? and do we need to refer to all of them or they just need to be included in the book?
                          b) when i prepare the book, should I point out the specific paragraphe for each of them in the table of content for ease of reference?

                          I am asking because here on ODF, people are saying that you must defend your case like a lawyer so to me it means that you must refer to case law in support to your pleadings. Some other comments I encountered is if you are self rep, the judge will throw your book of authorities away.

                          Can't wait to have my normal life back with my kids.
                          maf007
                          Last edited by mafia007; 04-03-2017, 12:26 PM. Reason: typo

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                          • #43
                            Also I have another question as I was going through WorkingDad's judgement. The justice stated that he presented a parental plan from the beginning.

                            Should the parental plan be presented from our testimonial or be part of our closing argument?

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Parental Plan

                              Question;

                              I have included my Parental Plan that I am to present before the justice during my testimonial at trial. It is included in my Trial Record along with the Form 35.1 Request for Custody and Access. Should it be included in my Book of exhibits as well to be referred as an evidence? Or just referring to the Trial Record is good enough?

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Was all done for our Trial scheduled in May then "bang"... postponed until September-October.

                                Given that the number of divorces is increasing dramatically each year, why are they not going to find the resources to deal with it?

                                We had our TMC and my STBX was told by the judge that the therapy should have started in the first place when I requested it. She lied to the judge and she and her lawyer were told that they will look bad at trial as their decision was prejudicial to my access with D9.

                                Once again, I requested that therapy start immediately.

                                In the meanwhile, I don't get any more access and cannot get my share of my interest through the equalization process. When you look at it, from the time we had to register our case on the trial list in last September, this will be a full year with no changes. Even though I have forwarded a lot of requests.

                                What can I do more until trial? It seems that everything I asked is being denied and refused. "NO" is the only reply I get. No negotiation at all. A trial is inevitable. What do you think?

                                Comment

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