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  • Wife's lawyer refuses to advise and sign separation agreement

    My wife's lawyer refuses to act as independant council for our separation agreement. We basically used two other lawyer written agreements, changed them to suit our needs and brought them in to be looked at. My lawyer mae a few minor corrections but otherwise was happy with it. My wife's said she would not touch it as it was not written up by a lawyer.

    I know that when I was looking for a lawyer, all the women lawyers I contacted refused it because it was written by us.

    Is this just a ploy to get more money from us? If the numbers are what we agree on and nothing is going to change in that respect, what does it matter who wrote the thing up? Since we used a couple of other people's agreements as a template, it covers all the bases and is essentilly written up by lawyers with our names instead of someone elses.

    Should she keep calling around or are there any lawyers out there (other than mine) that will do this sort of work?

  • #2
    I think the important thing is that you both acknowledge that you received ILA (independent legal advice) before signing the agreement.

    I believe you can go down to the courthouse and file it yourselves if you really want to and avoid lawyers. Many people don't hire lawyers when they get divorced. You can check on line for do-it-yourself divorces.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by dsrtrat View Post
      My wife's lawyer refuses to act as independant council for our separation agreement. We basically used two other lawyer written agreements, changed them to suit our needs and brought them in to be looked at. My lawyer mae a few minor corrections but otherwise was happy with it. My wife's said she would not touch it as it was not written up by a lawyer.
      I highly doubt that was the reason for her refusal.

      I know that when I was looking for a lawyer, all the women lawyers I contacted refused it because it was written by us.
      Do you realize how offensive that sounds?

      Since we used a couple of other people's agreements as a template, it covers all the bases and is essentilly written up by lawyers with our names instead of someone elses.
      No. It is not essentially written by lawyers. It appears (based on your past posts), to have been essentially written by you, copying and pasting to your advantage.

      Obviously, the ex's lawyer has some strong concerns about your agreement and won't provide ILA. Good for her. That is a professional.

      Of course the ex can find other lawyers out there to spend an hour with her and provide ILA. Depending on how far your agreement favors you, she might run into several who won't sign.
      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

      Comment


      • #4
        Ya know what? I had a nice long post with an explanation on it and thought "nahhhh", why bother.

        I admit, I am guilty of having a little bit of a he-man woman haters attitude tonight.

        After two months of working on an agreement and finally seeing some light at the end of the tunnel, I am feeling (and so is my stbx) very frustrated about this. My STBX was not forced into any deal and has worked just as hard as I have to make it fair and make it best for our kids. This lawyer's excuse for not providing the ILA was not the content of the agreement, but (and these are her words) "it was not written by a lawyer". Then she tried to get things going between us and potentially ring up the costs.

        My lawyer advised me that I could do much better but agreed to continue with the ILA as the agreement represented what we both thought was fair. he made some minor adjustments to wording but the content and guts stayed the same.

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        • #5
          See another lawyer. Pay a few hundred $$. There are lots out there.

          Comment


          • #6
            Is this just a ploy to get more money from us?
            Some lawyers are more sensitive to potential claims. A couple hundred bucks here and there is not worth the hassle and headache of a liability claim.

            If the numbers are what we agree on and nothing is going to change in that respect, what does it matter who wrote the thing up?
            It doesn't. Call around, ask for a lawyer who will provide ILA on the agreement, pay for an hour or two of time and out the door you go.

            Since we used a couple of other people's agreements as a template, it covers all the bases and is essentilly written up by lawyers with our names instead of someone elses.
            It was written by you and your wife. Copy paste is sloppy paste; some lawyers consider a hack job based off of drafted material to be worse than original work due to the potential for misunderstandings.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by dsrtrat View Post
              ...

              I know that when I was looking for a lawyer, all the women lawyers I contacted refused it because it was written by us.

              ...
              Interesting, my ex's female lawyer had the same attitude regarding the SA I wrote based on a kit and information here and the net. The male lawyer I went to said it was very comprehensive and had no problem with it. My ex's lawyer said it was just not the acceptable, but would not state why, other than she did not write it.

              My ex has now given up on that lawyer and is willing to sign - I told her she still needs ILA on it so she has to find another lawyer.

              Your ex needs a new lawyer that will listen to their client.

              ILA does not mean the lawyer likes the agreement, but simply that they fully advised you.

              Comment


              • #8
                ILA does not mean the lawyer likes the agreement, but simply that they fully advised you.
                If the client acts contrary to the lawyer's advice, some lawyers will have the client sign an acknowledgement while others fire the client. When people sign improvident agreements they usually regret it later. If they can't come back at their ex, some people channel their anger towards the lawyer, either damaging their reputation or insurance. Some people believe that the risk involved outweighs the gain from services rendered.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
                  If the client acts contrary to the lawyer's advice, some lawyers will have the client sign an acknowledgement while others fire the client. When people sign improvident agreements they usually regret it later. If they can't come back at their ex, some people channel their anger towards the lawyer, either damaging their reputation or insurance. Some people believe that the risk involved outweighs the gain from services rendered.
                  So after paying a lawyer to get to know your case, and then the lawyer dumps you because you, the client, wants to be done and sign off on an agreement that the lawyer does not like. Nice

                  Sounds like the kind of lawyer that I would not want. Good riddance.
                  Last edited by billm; 11-14-2012, 11:03 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My STBX is looking for a new lawyer today.

                    The problem is, she lacks education and understanding when it comes to law. I suspect this lawyer she had could smell fear and started her down the path of believeing that she could have done better and that unless a lawyer rights up the agreement and costs us 10,000.00 to print it on gold paper, she will be exposed to some hidden danger down the road.

                    The agreement we wrote up was done using 2-3 other people's agreements. We looked at each individual section of their agreements to make sure we were covering all of our bases. We currently have an 11 page document that lays out everything from support to children's education to the last spoon in the drawer. The finances are what we agreed to, the pension is by the book, child time for both of us is fair and yadda yadda yadda.

                    The agreement may lack the "whereas and hereto" words but it does cover our situation and is based on us and the future for our kids. My lawyer suggested a few small corrections but said otherwise it was fine and covered everything. At one point he said "you are paying too much" and I explained to him how we came up with the numbers and he said "fair enough". To my total shock, very early in the meeting he asked "why are we doing this and could it be fixed? " That completely caught me off guard coming from a lawyer. Anyhow, we moved on, reviewed all of it and he sent me on my way.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      So after paying a lawyer to get to know your case, and then the lawyer dumps you because you, the client, wants to be done and sign off on an agreement that the lawyer does not like. Nice

                      Sounds like the kind of lawyer that I would not want. Good riddance.
                      If the person is seeking independent legal advice, that is reasonable.

                      If the lawyer has been with them for a substantial amount of work, then you are more likely to see an acknowledgement made.

                      It should not be surprising that a lawyer is reluctant to put their name on a document they see as having a high potential for future liability.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        They refused it cause they are not making any money with Lawyers are part of the system and the system is to suck as much money as they can till you have none then legal aid quicks in tax payer foot the endless bill.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
                          ...

                          It should not be surprising that a lawyer is reluctant to put their name on a document they see as having a high potential for future liability.
                          It doesn't surprise me, it would frustrate me though because lawyers should be good at protecting their own a**.

                          If my lawyer felt the agreement I wanted to sign was crap for me, I would have no problem if they put their ILA in writing stating what they think and that they cannot be held liable for me signing it - that is their job, to get me divorced and listen to what I want. If they can't figure out how to do that without exposing themselves to liability, then they must not be a very good lawyer, because it must come up a lot.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by dsrtrat View Post
                            My wife's lawyer refuses to act as independant council for our separation agreement. We basically used two other lawyer written agreements, changed them to suit our needs and brought them in to be looked at. My lawyer mae a few minor corrections but otherwise was happy with it. My wife's said she would not touch it as it was not written up by a lawyer.

                            I know that when I was looking for a lawyer, all the women lawyers I contacted refused it because it was written by us.

                            Is this just a ploy to get more money from us? If the numbers are what we agree on and nothing is going to change in that respect, what does it matter who wrote the thing up? Since we used a couple of other people's agreements as a template, it covers all the bases and is essentilly written up by lawyers with our names instead of someone elses.

                            Should she keep calling around or are there any lawyers out there (other than mine) that will do this sort of work?
                            I feel your pain. This is the FL system at work. They abuse people who are at their mercy.

                            I made an agreement with my ex, properly drafted with help of a lawyer, made all the changes that my wife wanted. But her lawyer refused to sign it. She insisted on getting Fin Statement from me (don't start on that one, it was nothing but a waste of time), wasted whole lot of time and money, and nerves as well. In the end she wrote basically the same agreement that was worded a bit differently, that is all. Financial terms were a bit better for her than the original, but then again, you need to consider extra money both of us burned on lawyers during back and forth.

                            What can I say, they are parasites. Try to maintain trusting relationship with your ex so that you two could combat the pressure from lawyers together.

                            The way it works, they will tell your ex that she deserves a lot more, so the agreement is crap, and let's start from a clean slate. If she believes that both of you are in trouble. If she is smart enough to use her own judgement, you can find a lawyer that will review your agreement and sign it. Otherwise, god helps both of you.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
                              It should not be surprising that a lawyer is reluctant to put their name on a document they see as having a high potential for future liability.
                              WHAT liability? They make client sign a clause that they advised you NOT to sign this agreement, because of this, and that and that. They don't approve the agreement, they only attest that they discussed it with a client.

                              There is no room for a potential liability here.

                              Comment

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