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  • 5 day trial over for this SRL

    Hello just to update my trial against my Ex (represented) ended Monday !
    It was a motion to vary the original order from 2013. I spent over a year preparing ,I have both dyslexia and suffer from fibromyalgia making preparation difficult.I only have grade 11 education and no computer skills beyond very basic email ,FB etc .I do not consider myself stupid though my lack of education was not by choice .I raised 2 now successful and productive members of society primarily alone ,they both have fantastic relationships with thier DAD and that's IMO what a good mother encourages no matter how horrible the marriage .I detest people who involve children ,even adult children ,it is disgusting .
    I won all by myself ,my Ex lied over and over on the stand ,he is not smart enough to lie .The lawyer was called to task for an inappropriate email he sent me which I showed the Judge .He apologized grudgingly ,this man and I'm using that word loosely as I do not consider him a man threatened me at the TMC to "quit now or you will be paying me 15,000$ in costs ,because I'm going to win" ,I just said "really now because I will not loose ." Why did I win ?To tell the truth my ex could have done much worse which the Judge even tried to explain ,I did have to prove my case and my entitlement and I did .Smarmy lawyer felt compelled to hand me a pile of case law before we went in so I could "prepare" most of it was from the 80's lol ,in short order the Judge told him he might want to read more current case law .She also commented that I had done a very good job with my case law .I only used portions and made BOLD relevant statements ie: post separation income increases .I do not ever want to do this again it almost destroyed my new relationship and health ,I can not offer much advice about how to proceed or conduct your trial because I'm sure I made mistakes ,a book lent to me near the end for lawyers by McLeod ?? Was very helpful I wish I had it sooner ,it had the steps ,rules etc .Times for filing and counting days is tricky and should be learned early on so you won't miss filing on time .And be kind to the clerks they are very busy and they really do try to help as much as they can ,there are rules they have to follow ,learn thier names if like me you encounter the same ladies often but this is a good rule in general ! My ex choose to involve our dear daughter calling her at work before I had even left the court house ,she hastily left me some inappropriate texts with which I did not respond ,I instead sent her an email with the facts telling her she does not need to worry about Dad with his ample 6 figure income and no debt he will be fine ,I did not mention his lying he is her dad ,I waited until last night and finally text her about her new kitten our regular banter resumed all is forgotten about her unfortunate texts ,I am first and foremost a mother then I'm an Ex wife ,good luck to all involved in these difficult journeys and stay strong

  • #2
    What was this 5 day trial for?

    Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Paulamichelle View Post
      ... a book lent to me near the end for lawyers by McLeod ?? Was very helpful I wish I had it sooner ,it had the steps ,rules etc .Times for filing and counting days is tricky and should be learned early on so you won't miss filing on time .
      The name is this book would be really helpful.

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      • #4
        Motion to change our original 2013 divorce order

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        • #5
          I know ,sorry I returned it to the FLIC office it was the 2011 version and about 4"" thick paper back novel size ,I have to call the FLIC office next week so I will try to remember to ask her the name for you but as I said it is a professional reference book .

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Paulamichelle View Post
            Motion to change our original 2013 divorce order
            Custody? Access? Or just financials?

            Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

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            • #7
              http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...er-ever-20431/

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              • #8
                I remember that discussion.

                Congrats, though I would have been much more impressed if you won a custody and access trial on your own. Look forward to checking out the book. Please let us know what it is called.

                Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

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                • #9
                  There was motion to change based on ex post income increase in a new (resumed) job ,eliminating my common law incomes income in the equation which was done but it was taken into consideration that I was co habitating , retaining my right to re marry without my support reducing ! And a cash award of 200$ /month rather than a life insurance policy as he did not want to get a new policy and he told the children I was stealing thier inheritance if I made him put his work policy in my name so I said forget it I didn't want that done ,I didn't ask for 200$ the judge came up with that in lieu of a policy ,also if I move out of my current situation I will receive an increase in support I suppose I would have to file another motion for that but it wouldn't be so difficult to have granted !

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                  • #10
                    congratulations on your success.

                    I hope you consider getting a life insurance policy on your ex. Also important to check out your tax position when pursuing future litigation to increase SS.

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                    • #11
                      He claims he tried and it would be to expensive because he had cancer when we where first married ! Also it would involve talking to him which I won't and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do it ,he tried to get one on me which I thought odd but I agreed to let him ,it was declined of course because I am sick .yes the tax issues are complicated for him my support just cost him less tax and he got monster returns ,I doubt I will be ever going back unless my current partner desires to turf me and after all this he says he would be afraid too lol ,I also receive CPP disabilaty which is not taxed so I'm going to need to be carefull .Im really concerned that my Ex will now just refuse work for the next few years to lower his income ,he did this during our separation ,I often have gone months without support because he's off hunting ! In three years his income more than doubled his expenses reduced and yet he claims to have only saved 5000.$ so hopefully he hid it because the alternative is he 'consumed' it .I don't know what will happen now if he chooses to reduce his income and I end up with a huge arrears ,the reality is if he had to pay arrears for the last 45 months it would have been 70,000$ or 19,000$ for the last year and he didn't have to pay either which I was a bit surprised by ,but I am not too concerned about it as it would have only made him even madder .I do not ever want to go to court again ,I made every effort to make my marriage work for years before I left I told him when our son went to college I would leave to if things didn't change ,his comment was "I didn't think you had the energy to do it and I knew you didn't have any money " he also said "I would do anything for anyone but for some reason I enjoyed giving you a hard time " .Im not sure what I did wrong I don't have any close relationships with men other than my own son and frankly I don't understand them ,I'm far from perfect but I do try hard ,my current relationship is filled with challenges even the strongest of relationships would be hard pressed to endure ,hopefully the one big hurdle with this trial being over will now give me the time to used my limited resources loving and caring for my dear partner he is a very hard working dairy farmer and in the 8 years we have been together he has not had one day off ,I'm hoping I can use my money to contribute to increasing the one part time helpers hours so he can have a life with me maybe even a holiday and a trip to the dentist things most of our friends take for granted ,that said I need to make sure my own future is secure as it's doubtful I will ever be self sufficient so we will see ,I'm not a quitter ,a liar or a loser I just made bad choices

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                      • #12
                        Best thing to do is make sure you are registered with FRO/maintenance enforcement agency. (If he dies his estate would owe FRO).

                        Hope things improve for you in the future.

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                        • #13
                          OP....I don't know your ex and yes he might be a piece of work. However, how a person handles their separation / divorce is always a good indication of what can happen again should things go South when in a new relationship.

                          Am always curious of this during dating

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