Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The "Process"

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
    MCDreamy,

    You know nothing about my case. You know nothing about whats went on with OCL.
    The only thing you can focus on is the word "lesbian" that was used by Mr. T. lightyears ago (NOT ME) which he edited right away. You concentrate on that and Tayken's posts. Yet you want us to look at this from all perspectives. Follow your own advice.
    Everything I say you think is a conspiracy. So why would I discuss OCL or anything else with you? You already have your mind made up.
    I read what you post. I have as much knowledge of your case as the average forum member - I’m just not drawn into the thread. I was born at night, but I wasn’t born last night. Like many others, I don’t believe everything I read on the internet [and on this forum, in particular, as it is a given we are receiving only one version of events], and I certainly wouldn’t be hinging major aspects of my own case on internet ramblings of strangers.

    I don’t think everything you say is a conspiracy, why would you draw that conclusion? I believe you have that completely backwards - in fact, I firmly believe there are no conspiracies whatsoever in family law and I will friendly debate that with Mr. T for the next 10 years.

    Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
    Ever had your kid taken when you've done nothing and told by ppl like you that its in the child's best interest for supervision, restricted access, etc? Probably not. But wait. All just a big conspiracy to you.

    But the police and other agencies have found no basis for the allegations. And ex didn't even have any allegations of me towards child. D3 wants to stay longer, stay overnight, etc.
    What about the external family. D3 was with her nanny almost daily, and her great grandparents. I guess the system's looking out for our child by keeping her from them too right? You're wrong. The child's interests are not being met by withholding access to her father and extended family. Very wrong.

    Yea .. I bet you have.

    So why post about buying shares in aluminum to fuel fires in this thread. Last time I checked that's not divorce-related. Go to teenage chat sites for that stuff. Not here. Id like to stay on topic please.

    Never gets old huh? Everyone following my thread. You're all just a bunch of cheerleaders who offer no advice...just raise your pom pom's and cheer. Could she be any more insulting to you all?

    It may be my only option. If you've been following my thread you will know that Im the only one trying to cooperate, stay out of court and settle. The opposing party wants WW3 and Im being forced in to it. What's fair to you? EOW? If I was deserving of that Id gladly take it to be done with this. But like I said .. Ive done nothing and she doesn't want 50/50. She wants everything and to fight with LAO on her side. And again ,, talking about buying shares in aluminum is "egging on" or "continuing" a foolish quarrel. I for one think "all" the egging/taunting should cease.

    My access shouldn't have to wait a year or two to be restored while this gets figured out. That's what "interim" access is for.
    You appear to be unable to read and evaluate posts, as not only do I not believe in conspiracies, I also did not coin the tinfoil hat term in this thread, nor did I initiate the cheerleader term so - again- stop accusing me of driving the crazy train - you are in charge.

    It appears we will not ever agree on the current system and the Process first initiating child protection before ensuring parents’ rights to access. I’ve asked you for an opinion in a generic fashion several times now, but I see I’m not going to get that response. You also have avoided my question as to your potential response if the OCL report is unfavorable to you [remember, I don't think there is a conspiracy]. I do understand that at this moment your focus is on your child (as would mine be) and frankly, I intend for you to be very aware of the fact that I am not attacking you but attempting to make you aware of other possibilities.

    We will also not ever agree on default 50-50 - one of the many reasons being precisely because non-reported abuse does happen in family homes and I believe the safety of the child is the priority. If the allegations in your case are false, I have posted here to you that I think the ex should be penalized, but let me make it quite clear, if default 50-50 puts children in abusive homes back at risk, I will never support it. And it does, so I won’t.

    One of the other reasons I wouldn’t agree to default 50-50 is when a family home in the separation process involves a SAHP. Isn’t that your situation? I understood the fairly standard approach is that a SAHP continues to maintain the majority of access to maintain the child’s routine, while access is gradually increased to the the non-SAHP. Can you see that, or do you disagree? - this concern of mine appears to be missing from all of your threads, and it also appears to me that your current drive (and yes, your cheerleader) is focusing on proving negative parenting- but I’ll leave that to you and your online legal team to work with.

    I'll also add, as I have already - the OCL report, given that it should contain both parents’ interpretation of past events and the OCL opinion of best interests, will be revealing. And it is what any judge in the system, fairly enough, is waiting on as well before their decision is made. Can you see that, or do you disagree? Oh - let’s speak to that OCL accusation. You are, I trust, aware that pedophiles use tools to source their victims (one of them regularly being magic tricks), so I’m not surprised your OCL worker was taken aback when your d3 came out with talk of magic tricks. I think it was a fairly standard, protective response from your OCL worker and frankly I think she should have received censure if she didn't investigate that comment further. It has not been disproven, you'll have a CAS letter confirming and the remainder of the OCL report would be a fair assessment of the home situation. Can you see that, or do you disagree?
    Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

    Comment


    • I think the big one is why is supervised only limited to 3 hours per week if supervisor is available for more.

      And test it against her version of the story...Even if you were in fact aggressive the fact you're being supervised allows her to permit more visits. I think it demonstrates this isn't about her safety or d3 safety ...it's about control.

      I keep coming back to this point. It's a major logical flaw in her position.

      She IS trying to erase you. This isn't about you being a danger at all...it's quite clear from her actions.

      Try to imagine a well-intentioned mother who is truly terrorized by her husband. If she is in a safe undisclosed location and visits are supervised then why wouldn't the emphasis be on anger management classes and expanded visits as they go well. She would be hoping beyond hope that the monster who is her husband turns the corner and can be a real father to his daughter at some future point.

      She might disagree with unsupervised but can't limit hours when it's safe.

      I think this is a very big demonstrable insight into her true motives.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
        ... You are, I trust, aware that pedophiles use tools to source their victims (one of them regularly being magic tricks), so I’m not surprised your OCL worker was taken aback when your d3 came out with talk of magic tricks. I think it was a fairly standard, protective response from your OCL worker....
        Yep and there are many people out there who assume gay people are paedophiles....
        Last edited by arabian; 08-27-2014, 08:23 PM.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
          I read what you post. I have as much knowledge of your case as the average forum member - I’m just not drawn into the thread. I was born at night, but I wasn’t born last night. Like many others, I don’t believe everything I read on the internet [and on this forum, in particular, as it is a given we are receiving only one version of events], and I certainly wouldn’t be hinging major aspects of my own case on internet ramblings of strangers.

          I don’t think everything you say is a conspiracy, why would you draw that conclusion? I believe you have that completely backwards - in fact, I firmly believe there are no conspiracies whatsoever in family law and I will friendly debate that with Mr. T for the next 10 years.



          You appear to be unable to read and evaluate posts, as not only do I not believe in conspiracies, I also did not coin the tinfoil hat term in this thread, nor did I initiate the cheerleader term so - again- stop accusing me of driving the crazy train - you are in charge.

          It appears we will not ever agree on the current system and the Process first initiating child protection before ensuring parents’ rights to access. I’ve asked you for an opinion in a generic fashion several times now, but I see I’m not going to get that response. You also have avoided my question as to your potential response if the OCL report is unfavorable to you [remember, I don't think there is a conspiracy]. I do understand that at this moment your focus is on your child (as would mine be) and frankly, I intend for you to be very aware of the fact that I am not attacking you but attempting to make you aware of other possibilities.

          We will also not ever agree on default 50-50 - one of the many reasons being precisely because non-reported abuse does happen in family homes and I believe the safety of the child is the priority. If the allegations in your case are false, I have posted here to you that I think the ex should be penalized, but let me make it quite clear, if default 50-50 puts children in abusive homes back at risk, I will never support it. And it does, so I won’t.

          One of the other reasons I wouldn’t agree to default 50-50 is when a family home in the separation process involves a SAHP. Isn’t that your situation? I understood the fairly standard approach is that a SAHP continues to maintain the majority of access to maintain the child’s routine, while access is gradually increased to the the non-SAHP. Can you see that, or do you disagree? - this concern of mine appears to be missing from all of your threads, and it also appears to me that your current drive (and yes, your cheerleader) is focusing on proving negative parenting- but I’ll leave that to you and your online legal team to work with.

          I'll also add, as I have already - the OCL report, given that it should contain both parents’ interpretation of past events and the OCL opinion of best interests, will be revealing. And it is what any judge in the system, fairly enough, is waiting on as well before their decision is made. Can you see that, or do you disagree? Oh - let’s speak to that OCL accusation. You are, I trust, aware that pedophiles use tools to source their victims (one of them regularly being magic tricks), so I’m not surprised your OCL worker was taken aback when your d3 came out with talk of magic tricks. I think it was a fairly standard, protective response from your OCL worker and frankly I think she should have received censure if she didn't investigate that comment further. It has not been disproven, you'll have a CAS letter confirming and the remainder of the OCL report would be a fair assessment of the home situation. Can you see that, or do you disagree?
          But I told ocl I was a magician. I taught d3 tricks. D3 showed her tricks during the visit. She KNEW what magic meant.

          Tell me why CAS came out with totally different answers from D3 than ocl did?

          Tell me why both CAS and the police found ocl's questioning to the child "leading"?

          Ocl has articles online for 1. "Violence against women..men are guilty until proven guilty"..and 2. "Women who falsely accuse should go unpunished" (which I believe even you don't agree with). Her main specialization is substance abuse. Funny, her expertise dealt with all my allegations.
          Not toddlers, not questioning toddlers and certainly not access/custody issues.

          So. .. would you agree with her final report if you were me?

          I repeat...D3 showed OCL tricks I taught her. Its one of our activities that we enjoy. Showed her my magic box. Why tell CAS "something about magic time has me concerned" when she knew full well I'm a magician and d3 loves magic. Why? To take away access. To fry me. For her own reasons. But you think the word magic deserves a call to CAS? Are you serious? I don't even know what to say to that. I'm a magician so must be a pedophile. Wow.

          She put my poor little girl through all of this nonsense. This poor 3 year old questioned about this stuff over her own biases towards me.
          But you think its in her best interest.

          Oh..and I never said you started the tin hat thing...please don't put words in my mouth ... you just have no problem continuing it. But I'm sure you don't see it that way either.

          Just because she was a SAHP doesnt give her the right to do what she's done regarding access. Did you read the part about no charges EVER? No 911 calls, no domestics in the whole 8 year relationship?
          So let me get this straight...since I work you don't believe I should get 50/50? I WAS part of the regular routine. What's so hard to understand here? We alternated nights for bath time, rocking to sleep, etc. It was 50/50 until she left.

          And what online legal team? Is this not a chat forum? I'm chatting. What's your issue?
          Last edited by LovingFather32; 08-27-2014, 08:29 PM.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post

            One of the other reasons I wouldn’t agree to default 50-50 is when a family home in the separation process involves a SAHP. Isn’t that your situation? I understood the fairly standard approach is that a SAHP continues to maintain the majority of access to maintain the child’s routine, while access is gradually increased to the the non-SAHP. Can you see that, or do you disagree? - this concern of mine appears to be missing from all of your threads, and it also appears to me that your current drive (and yes, your cheerleader) is focusing on proving negative parenting- but I’ll leave that to you and your online legal team to work with.
            Not in my case. Judge took one look at my SAH ex and said in essence "bullshit" to her allegations... both of you get the boy 50/50. I think the stay at home thing is over rated. Kids adapt quite well...and I think IF a dad really wants to be involved...no reason he can't be as good a parent. If we are truly gender neutral there is no good reason not to have 50/50. I understand if one side raises a concern the need for caution but a judge has to have strong grounds to believe there is a problem.

            Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
            I'll also add, as I have already - the OCL report, given that it should contain both parents’ interpretation of past events and the OCL opinion of best interests, will be revealing. And it is what any judge in the system, fairly enough, is waiting on as well before their decision is made. Can you see that, or do you disagree? Oh - let’s speak to that OCL accusation. You are, I trust, aware that pedophiles use tools to source their victims (one of them regularly being magic tricks), so I’m not surprised your OCL worker was taken aback when your d3 came out with talk of magic tricks. I think it was a fairly standard, protective response from your OCL worker and frankly I think she should have received censure if she didn't investigate that comment further. It has not been disproven, you'll have a CAS letter confirming and the remainder of the OCL report would be a fair assessment of the home situation. Can you see that, or do you disagre
            Yeah the CAS is quite aggressive on investigating thoroughly any home they feel might have the slightest cause for concern. If lf32 has a "not verified" it means they were damn sure the isn't anything going on.

            I too had CAS come to my home and they were pretty vocal about how false they felt the Ex's claims were ...they can only formally report "not verified" which is very unsatisfying a status after getting what is essentially a sharp probe up your ass

            As for the we can't trust anyone on the internet...true. But what good is a forum if we doubt everything being said. We know this is anonymous. Yes lf32 could be grossly understating all the most lurid facts but...until I read something that is really out of place or new information is presented I presume generally all information is above board.

            Why read 800 posts of a guy you think is full of sh&t

            Is there something in particular you assume lf32 is guilty of? Is there something in particular you'd like to draw all our attention to that perhaps we missed?

            I don't know any of you...none of you are going to be babysitting my kids tomorrow...but i think I can go out on a limb and assume what I am reading is as objective as any one side of the story can be.

            But as Churchill says..."I didn't change my mind, the facts changed..." Until the facts change I hold lf32 in good standing.

            Comment


            • To put things in perspective, LF32's daughter will not likely see her dad tomorrow for the second week in a row.

              No CAS concerns, no criminal record. She talks about how she has two daddies now. She can't remember her last name.

              So glad that her rights are being protected.

              Comment


              • I believe that often in family law 'conspiracy' does indeed exist. When two or more people meet to concoct something illegal or to circumvent the legal process, it could be considered a conspiracy. Family law is rift with conspiracies.

                https://www.google.ca/webhp?sourceid...spiracy+theory

                With that said, I believe that there are many incompetent people who unfortunately work in the family law milieu. I have read often, on CanLii, of judges disregarding OCL workers and their reports/findings. I believe the OCL report is a starting point for disputed child custody matters. One could/should question the qualifications and background of anyone who is charged with making reports which may or may not determine the future of one's child.
                Last edited by arabian; 08-27-2014, 08:38 PM.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Headwaters1 View Post
                  Not in my case. Judge took one look at my SAH ex and said in essence "bullshit" to her allegations... both of you get the boy 50/50. I think the stay at home thing is over rated. Kids adapt quite well...and I think IF a dad really wants to be involved...no reason he can't be as good a parent. If we are truly gender neutral there is no good reason not to have 50/50. I understand if one side raises a concern the need for caution but a judge has to have strong grounds to believe there is a problem.



                  Yeah the CAS is quite aggressive on investigating thoroughly any home they feel might have the slightest cause for concern. If lf32 has a "not verified" it means they were damn sure the isn't anything going on.

                  I too had CAS come to my home and they were pretty vocal about how false they felt the Ex's claims were ...they can only formally report "not verified" which is very unsatisfying a status after getting what is essentially a sharp probe up your ass

                  As for the we can't trust anyone on the internet...true. But what good is a forum if we doubt everything being said. We know this is anonymous. Yes lf32 could be grossly understating all the most lurid facts but...until I read something that is really out of place or new information is presented I presume generally all information is above board.

                  Why read 800 posts of a guy you think is full of sh&t

                  Is there something in particular you assume lf32 is guilty of? Is there something in particular you'd like to draw all our attention to that perhaps we missed?

                  I don't know any of you...none of you are going to be babysitting my kids tomorrow...but i think I can go out on a limb and assume what I am reading is as objective as any one side of the story can be.

                  But as Churchill says..."I didn't change my mind, the facts changed..." Until the facts change I hold lf32 in good standing.
                  I've spoken the truth from post 1 thread 1 and will continue to do so. It says a lot about a person's character who chooses to patronize somebody whos going through a nightmare such as this.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Straittohell View Post
                    To put things in perspective, LF32's daughter will not likely see her dad tomorrow for the second week in a row.

                    No CAS concerns, no criminal record. She talks about how she has two daddies now. She can't remember her last name.

                    So glad that her rights are being protected.
                    Yes. Ppl like mcdreamy agree with this and are happy I'm not seeing her tomorrow...again. Just the very effective system at work she says.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Straittohell View Post
                      To put things in perspective, LF32's daughter will not likely see her dad tomorrow for the second week in a row.

                      No CAS concerns, no criminal record. She talks about how she has two daddies now. She can't remember her last name.

                      So glad that her rights are being protected.
                      To put things in further perspective, if one little girl or boy is saved from abuse of whatever kind, while we wait on one or two assessments from a nonviolent home where equal access will even out, then the process is correct.

                      You are inflaming a situation where there is no need. Almost like the OP's ex.
                      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                      Comment


                      • I believe two camps often emerge on this forum. In this case camp A have contributed to the OP since the start. Camp B is the jealous step-sister who can't say anything nice (helpful). Camp A has been telling Camp B all along to offer helpful, useful suggestions besides - get good legal counsel (which the OP has indeed done).

                        Hopefully both camps agree that the process is too slow. It could be argued that had this process moved faster the mother might not have made as many mistakes. These mistakes could very well cost her the custody of her daughter. As these two have absolutely NO COMMUNICATION WHATSOEVER a shared custody arrangement would be unlikely.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          Yep and there are many people out there who assume gay people are paedophiles....
                          Good lawd there aren't enough bigoted posts already in the thread, you need to toss in homosexuality? Exactly what is your purpose with this post? I'm all ears.
                          Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                          Comment


                          • It came to mind when you brought up OCL workers thinking LF32 was a perv because he did magic. Totally ridiculous - both analogies IMO. That was my point.

                            Comment


                            • I give my daughter a bath I'm a perv

                              I do magic I'm a perv

                              Geez...if I breathe I'm a perv. This single father thing should be interesting.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                                Yes. Ppl like mcdreamy agree with this and are happy I'm not seeing her tomorrow...again. Just the very effective system at work she says.
                                It's a shame you can't see the forest for the trees. I am done with this thread as a contributor, I have no useful advice to offer you apparently. I will continue to read as a mod - which would mean, of course, control your cheerleaders with their sexist comments. Have a good night,
                                Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X