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  • #16
    that is just plain funny

    belly laugh funny thanks!! hahahaha

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    • #17
      Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
      Ohhhh I do exactly that--I think of him as a ATM machine, not even a bank teller that would humanize him,,, Just an ATM machine.
      I could never think of the father of my child in that way (regardless of what he may or may not have done in the past). Yes I receive SS, yes I feel that I have earned it - yes I keep in mind that my STBX has to work hard for those dollars and I am thankful in that respect!

      Do you want to know how family law works? ....it doesn't.

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      • #18
        If mine's a bank machine, it must be broken!!! Lol.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Qrious View Post
          If mine's a bank machine, it must be broken!!! Lol.

          LOL! good one!

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Janibel View Post
            I could never think of the father of my child in that way (regardless of what he may or may not have done in the past). Yes I receive SS, yes I feel that I have earned it - yes I keep in mind that my STBX has to work hard for those dollars and I am thankful in that respect!

            Do you want to know how family law works? ....it doesn't.
            There is a big difference between a father and a sperm donar. X has choosen to completely have no contact with his 2 adult children. Both children are educated, independant and well on their way to productive healthy lives,(both professionals) so there isnt even an excuse of them being in any way a financial burden.
            Personally for me being financially independant and working as a accounting consultant is rewarding as I love my work and the people who I work with and for.
            I wasn't trying to be nasty or self-serving. I truly view him as a means of my ability to save. My agreement has protected me to work without any consequences to SS and I agree--I am thankful that he is working his butt off 2.5 days a week in my honour, drilling and filling so I get my monthly cheques.
            Dealing with a high conflict individual is not an easy task, and 3 years of lawyers was not fun. The truth eventually came out, (sucks to divorce an accountant),so I view him as nothing more than a machine.

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            • #21
              you are not financially independant if you require the SS.

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              • #22
                It all depends on what you consider financially independant. I am able to support myself, travel, pay my bills fit in a trip to Japan, and even NYC next weekend.
                I am saving my SS as according to the Canadian Government and the Province of Ontario I am entitled to receive 20k a month and I choose to save it, cuz I love my Mini Cooper,(paid for by moi) and I don't want a BMW.
                SOTS---- do I detect some envy, jealousy, the welfare mentality in your comments to me????????????

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                  It all depends on what you consider financially independant. I am able to support myself, travel, pay my bills fit in a trip to Japan, and even NYC next weekend.
                  I am saving my SS as according to the Canadian Government and the Province of Ontario I am entitled to receive 20k a month and I choose to save it, cuz I love my Mini Cooper,(paid for by moi) and I don't want a BMW.
                  SOTS---- do I detect some envy, jealousy, the welfare mentality in your comments to me????????????
                  If you can afford a lifestyle similar to what you had before, and you are still taking SS, then sorry, I don't have much respect. SS is not for punishment, no matter what kind of person he was or is. You should be ashamed.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                    If you can afford a lifestyle similar to what you had before, and you are still taking SS, then sorry, I don't have much respect. SS is not for punishment, no matter what kind of person he was or is. You should be ashamed.
                    Last time I checked you are not G-d and should not sit in judgement.
                    What about when I can no longer work? Would you prefer I depend on the government for assistance and help deplete the already over burdened system or would you prefer I have savings to sustain myself and pay taxes to contribute to those who really need the help. Instead of my x has to lower his lifestyle to 4 vacations a year instead of 6.
                    You ARE CORRECT---SS IS NOT A PUNISHMENT IT IS A COMPLETE ENTITLEMENT FOR GIVING MY MOST PRODUCTIVE YEARS (29 OF THEM) TO MY MARRIAGE.
                    I am saving all of my SS and working my butt off 6 days a week and evenings so I can be completely independant and look towards the future.
                    Shame on you, your opinion of no respect has very little consequence and really doesnt mean much.
                    Last edited by momforever1956; 07-14-2013, 08:50 PM.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                      If you can afford a lifestyle similar to what you had before, and you are still taking SS, then sorry, I don't have much respect. SS is not for punishment, no matter what kind of person he was or is. You should be ashamed.
                      Have to agree with you, DD. MF did come across as using SS as a punishment, just taking it but not really needing it. Being entitled to after years out of her life is understandable, but maybe sounding a little humble or appreciative might help her case.
                      Last edited by Qrious; 07-14-2013, 08:59 PM.

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                      • #26
                        I respectfully disagree with some of the posters. The wealthy have a different lifestyle that most of us can only imagine. My husband is quite wealthy but doesn't work so I don't expect SS. I did, however, work very hard during the marriage but am retired now. Last year my income was a little over $5,800. It's a good thing I have some funds in a bank account.

                        A lot of issues come into play so I wouldn't want to even guess what evolved during the 3 years of legal battles. If the OP views her ex as a money machine, well I have heard worse from other posters.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                          Last time I checked you are not G-d and should not sit in judgement.
                          What about when I can no longer work? Would you prefer I depend on the government for assistance and help deplete the already over burdened system or would you prefer I have savings to sustain myself and pay taxes to contribute to those who really need the help. Instead of my x has to lower his lifestyle to 4 vacations a year instead of 6.
                          You ARE CORRECT---SS IS NOT A PUNISHMENT IT IS A COMPLETE ENTITLEMENT FOR GIVING MY MOST PRODUCTIVE YEARS (29 OF THEM) TO MY MARRIAGE.
                          I am saving all of my SS and working my butt off 6 days a week and evenings so I can be completely independant and look towards the future.
                          Shame on you, your opinion of no respect has very little consequence and really doesnt mean much.
                          Your ex is not your pension plan, your unemployment insurance, your disability insurance, or any other kind of -plan.

                          Your "rights" are to be in the same position as someone your age who was never married and has not spouse to support them. You are single. Your right is to a) support yourself and b) an entitlement to the same pension, healthcare, and disability insurance that every Canadian receives from the government.

                          You MAY have a right to some SS if: a) you contributed to the furtherment of your ex's career and improved income, and/or b) yiour own income potential suffered directly because of the marriage.

                          Sorry, I don't accept that you are entitled to have your ex provide you carte blanche.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Mess View Post
                            Your ex is not your pension plan, your unemployment insurance, your disability insurance, or any other kind of -plan.

                            Your "rights" are to be in the same position as someone your age who was never married and has not spouse to support them. You are single. Your right is to a) support yourself and b) an entitlement to the same pension, healthcare, and disability insurance that every Canadian receives from the government.

                            You MAY have a right to some SS if: a) you contributed to the furtherment of your ex's career and improved income, and/or b) yiour own income potential suffered directly because of the marriage.

                            Sorry, I don't accept that you are entitled to have your ex provide you carte blanche.
                            Clearly the system doesnt hand out SS of thousands of dollars a month, if I had not contributed to the furtherment of my x's career supported him through school and sacrificed my senior executive position when I became pregnant and we made a choice of how we would raise our family. Of course during arbitration he denied that he agreed to OUR decision and the lawyers and arbitrator basically laughed in his face. At home for 29 years and he all along didnt agree to it? What was he thinking?? Why wouldnt he leave??? Why did he wait till I kicked his butt out the door??
                            The system has many weaknesses but handing out SS without any justification is not one of them. Numbers are black and white, and it is not as if this was a short term marriage and hubby did not like the terms and conditions and decided to leave.
                            I would think after investing the time and effort and devotion to my family the system acknowledged my contribution.
                            Just on a side note--his practice in just 4 years since we have divorced has declined to less than half of what it was. Bad business decisions, greed and setting himself up for a 5 year review is just part of the sickness and poor judgement the man has, along with a partner who has taken on the general manager position and alienated his staff. She thinks sleeping with the boss has given her all the power, and I say all the power to her, keep the dude working!!!!!

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                              It all depends on what you consider financially independant. I am able to support myself, travel, pay my bills fit in a trip to Japan, and even NYC next weekend.
                              I am saving my SS as according to the Canadian Government and the Province of Ontario I am entitled to receive 20k a month and I choose to save it, cuz I love my Mini Cooper,(paid for by moi) and I don't want a BMW.
                              SOTS---- do I detect some envy, jealousy, the welfare mentality in your comments to me????????????
                              LOL jealousy and envy not a chance. I would rather be an independant woman then a leech.

                              I work hard for what I have and do not ask for SS from my ex. Where the hell do you get the welfare mentality comment??At least I can say what I have I did it on my own including my savings and RRSP.

                              I am financially independant and I do not need my exs money for "savings".

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                              • #30
                                I'm not talking about dehumanizing them. They are still humans. Just treat them like a stranger that you have to have interactions with. Be polite, and courteous, yet where they go at the end of the day is completely inconsequential to your life.
                                If they're unable to reciprocate those feelings, just smile and nod and walk away.

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