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  • Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
    Ex complained about LF32's abuse when she left. After D4 broke her leg, ex adjusted her claim to include a lack of proper communication as well. Of course this should be dealt with at court.

    It's OK to discuss future plans, but the past is facts as opposed to hopes.
    I believe that LF32's ex has repeatedly said that she has no internet access (yet she has a cell phone and has all the time in the world to visit her local library and access the free computers). LF32's ex only would communicate through the communication book that the child carries with her. Hardly confidential or effective.

    Incidences such as the broken leg were brought up in court. LF32 had his opportunity to defend his actions of being a competent parent. His ex was upset because he didn't call him when he arrive at the hospital, rather called her after the attending physician treated his daughter. Hardly an earth-shattering matter. His ex clearly is grasping at straws in her attempt to blame him for something, anything. Judges see this sort of thing all the time. This is a good thing for LF32. This is a not-so-good thing for his ex as it shows she didn't learn her lesson about "crying wolf" and will continue to waste court time with empty, false accusations of poor parenting.

    I believe LF32's ex failed to inform LF32 last Fall (when he finally was able to have limited access) of daughter's serious health issue. Fortunately LF32 was able to find out information but it certainly wasn't from his ex.
    Last edited by arabian; 08-03-2015, 11:07 AM. Reason: Another thought

    Comment


    • So now that we have dispensed with, and clarified, some uncalled for attacks on LF32's character let's get down to doing what this forum is supposed to do - help one another through the murky world of family law.

      OntarioDaddy - as you have made it through almost 4 years of family court hell, and you state that your situation is similar to that of LF32's with the abduction of one's children, what constructive recommendations do you have for LF32 going forward? I believe LF32 is busy preparing himself for trial and would appreciate any tips from anyone as long as they are sincerely helpful.

      I believe LF32 has provided a remarkable amount of personal background information so we can dispense with repeated requests for information which is already on his threads.

      Any comments/recommendations on specific process of preparing for trial that might be of use to LF32?

      Comment


      • Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
        ...advice may be...
        Drop the lawyer. I believe judges will have more pitty on him alone and forgive him for past mistakes.
        Stop talking step-mom and sisters. Stick to facts.
        Other than yes please and thank you, don't feel the need to explain yourself to ex.
        Stick to what's relevant.
        Don't make assumptions.
        Study and prepare for trial.
        Go to court!
        Okay so I have gleaned from your post that this^is your advice.

        Do you advise LF32 to drop his lawyer and hire another or to go it alone in the hope that the judge will pity him? I don't think that LF32 is experienced in the fine art of cross-examining witnesses but who knows, many before him have done it themselves. Did you self-represent all or part of the way?

        I agree with your point about not needing to bend over so much when communicating with the ex.

        I agree that relevance is important, however, in family law child custody battles it seems that relevancy is a subjective matter. What is relevant to one person's experience may or may not be relevant to another. LF32 has to pick through the experience and advice from everyone and decide what best suits his own situation.

        I am interested in your reference to "prepare for trial." Could you be more specific? How did you prepare for your trial?
        Last edited by arabian; 08-03-2015, 06:38 PM.

        Comment


        • Interesting to hear your thoughts as a person who self-represented. I wonder how someone can do this while holding down a full-time job.

          You must have read plenty of case law before you went to trial.

          It must be difficult to not get bogged down with details yet details can be important.

          Comment


          • Just to help myself learn from your case:

            On pg. 90 of y thread SC's, Motions & Trials you say that:

            Day 1: Found family missing -->went to police-->got a badly-worded court order.
            What was the bad wording? Judges are usually pretty good at that stuff.

            - So you had time to go to the police, then go to court, which had no flic line, filled out the paper work, saw a judge .. and got an order ...all in the same day? OnDaddy...This doesn't happen in one day.

            Day 2: Went back to court because the order was bad.

            - Got another order on same day? Again .. not going to happen the same day. Judges arn't at court spewing out orders (or correcting them) for people the minute they walk in the door. You found time to take the order back to police. Police found ex on this same day. (day 2). Kids also returned same day.

            All on day 2?

            You state that you convinced the police that your children were not safe at the shelter. What was your proof? ... I couldnt prove my kid was in danger. How was yours?

            Day 3: CAS called

            Regarding CAS:

            - On pg. 90 of SC's, Motions & Trials you state that you met with CAS at court on 2nd day. (Getting rewording of order done in an unrealistically quick fashion).

            - Yet on page #89 of that same thread you make no mention of CAS.

            - On this thread you say you met them on day 3.

            BTW .. I think most would agree that CAS also don't spring out of their office chairs and run to meet somebody in court within 24-48 hours. C'mon man .. my ex would tell you there's a "process".

            I'd love to take your advice ONDaddy .. some of it is good. But you're here for another reason my friend. You haven't been through it. Too many impossibilities in your story. IMO
            Last edited by LovingFather32; 08-03-2015, 11:30 PM.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
              Thank you for the refresher. I had my head tilted slightly to the side when I read it this time, so I think I understand his situation now.

              "I fully understand how long the journey to trial is. My ex road that wave all the way to the end. That is not the issue. My thing is had LF acted right away without all the delays, his situation would have been different. Therefore, he can't blame the abduction, ex, lies, system.... Just himself. "

              Night of abduction; phoned 911, physically went to police station, phoned ex's family members to no avail... worked night shift was late Saturday on a long Holiday weekend. Couldn't talk to anyone court/ lawyers/ etc until Tuesday. Police would only say Child Safe with mother. Trashed house, emptied bank account, shock... and all of that on a Holiday weekend, with Police as only option and they were completely partial to ex. I was present. Tuesday paid retainer hired lawyer, $6k for first month had very little info and still no contact, but did have application filed first week. Received accusations via lao. Month #2 Lawyer asked for additional $3500.00 retainer, Obviously at $3-$6k a month not possible... so began this journey with lots of help from this site as a self rep, but going against a very strange Lao, and an ex who resides physically in another Province where she wants to remain. On paper only she resides in LF32 jurisdiction, to ensure OW and LAO.

              I can't provide case law on why gf is not step-mom. Law just says they're not married or common law. Call it what it is. It's nice to pretend though.

              "I don't believe anyone has proven anything yet, not until trial is complete.
              Drug tests show LF was clean for a short period. Not that he wasn't using when ex left or is isn't using now. Nothing proven. Unless the issue is ordered final, the Motion judge is usually just leaving it for trial where it can be properly examined."
              Hair follicle goes back 6 months, LF had test in 3rd month after abduction. 2 days after CC when it was brought up. 2 days delay to get an appointment with reputable company. Not a very big delay. LF32 began weekly urinalysis upon hearing first allegation. I believe lots was proven.

              "If he's asking to impute, it should be in his application. Otherwise it's wishful thinking."
              I agree, his lawyer feels otherwise though.

              "I would worry more about another bad Ocl report than being kosher, but that's just me."

              I agree. OCL is scary. Last OCL report was a fictional novel written by the ex and mil. LF32 and support system non existent in report. I read it, I was part of it... shocking, still shocked that it may happen again.

              -----

              I'm sure my ex had the same intentions of excising me when she took off.
              Again only difference between us was the delay.

              I never said LF was making fun of his ex. He just makes fun of everyone else, and leaves the rest of you to say the most disgusting things about the other half of his daughter while he says nothing to stop it. Rather he will just agree with what you all say.

              -----

              "As for the broken leg, I agree it is minor. LF will simply be corrected, to call before and not after, and it will be done with. Ex isn't crying wolf and won't look bad here."

              Ex looks bad here. In recent motion, ex did not say she should be there to comfort child, instead they said , " Ex should have been present to explain all past abuse so that doctor could have questioned and properly reported this incident". In future, I'd be scared to call before after hearing the LAO say that!

              -----

              "It's nice that you two stick up for eachother.
              I don't believe anyone is attacking LF. Helping or correcting maybe, but I don't think anyone means him harm. He's just defensive to opinions and feels the need to constantly prove himself while continuing the same errors."

              Yes he has become very defensive, he has been through hell... wonder how long before he feels safe and confident again? How long did it take you? The allegations and long separation from his daughter have been devastating, every time he sees her he feels it could be the last time, never knowing what the next stunt will be.

              Besides the questions/comments I've already said, more advice may be...
              Drop the lawyer. I believe judges will have more pitty on him alone and forgive him for past mistakes.
              "Stop talking step-mom and sisters. Stick to facts."

              He met someone wonderful, I can attest to that. His faith is still being restored. They are a huge part of his support system and his life; those are facts.

              "Other than yes please and thank you, don't feel the need to explain yourself to ex.
              Stick to what's relevant.
              Don't make assumptions.
              Study and prepare for trial."

              YES!

              "Go to court!
              "

              Yes! But LAO keeps asking for delays, at recent motion told Judge no trial in fall due to his 6 week vacation to Rome!, and need OCL update... OCL doesn't work in the summer! etc etc. Ontario Daddy I am so glad things went so quickly, so smoothly for you. I'd call you lucky, but that word has no place in these situations... guess LF32 can only hope for some of the breaks you apparently bumped into.

              Comment


              • I have to hand it to backgroundnoise for jumping in and clarifying things on LF32's behalf. LF32's experience with police/CAS/OCL is notably different than the experience of OntarioDaddy. In both situations the ex should have automatically been held criminally responsible for child abduction IMO. No parent should have to go through this.

                Comment


                • This is what I mean when I say you sound ridiculous, with little knowledge.
                  I'm in no bubble. I'm in the labyrinth of family law, learning as I go. I feel I've learned, and continue to learn .. quite a bit. I know for sure that I have more than "little knowledge" at this juncture.

                  They will call upstairs and let them know another case is coming while they help you fill out paperwork. Unfortunately, I ran out of time and had to come back the next day.
                  Your story has changed yet again. I thought you got the order the first day and brought it to the police but it had the wrong wording. Now you claim that you didnt have enough time to finish the paperwork and had to return the next day.

                  Which one is it ONDaddy? Please know that your advice is actually pretty good. Im smart enough to realize that. Its your story that you're burying yourself with.

                  By the time I gave the police the order, they had located my ex. They won't tell you they're at a shelter, simply "they're safe". To which I would say, unless they're at home they're not safe. I'm always taking care of them and ex would be telling them lies. No evidence, just an honest answer.
                  Again.. my case and your (supposed one) differ. My ex made a police report. Yours did not. That places me in a worse position than you. EM judge even asked if I had proof child was in any physical danger. I'm surprised you just snapped your fingers and orders were written and kids returned.....same day you were completing paper work ... or was it getting an order reworded .. because you've provided yet again 2 different stories.

                  I help, haven gone through the same thing, and you would rather focus on my credibility. Others insult your ex and you praise them. Interesting.
                  You help by mocking me as to when you tucked your kids in compared to me?
                  Or do you help by saying "I'm playing house".
                  Don't even worry about my knowledge-base. I'm doing fine. In the future we can open up a separate thread called "Everything LF32 has done wrong" or "I dont believe LF32 ..he's playing house", etc.

                  But for now I'd like to concentrate on D4 and the evolution of my case ... if you dont mind.

                  I dont make any disparaging remarks about my ex .. never have. Other posters are entitled their opinions. If you're looking for a cheering squad for her your on the wrong thread. (what are your thoughts on everything ex has done to the child's other half .. me?). Just curious. Interesting.

                  Just like ex you're grasping for straws to make me look bad. I hope she acts like this (you) at trial. It will look great for me.
                  Last edited by LovingFather32; 08-04-2015, 09:04 AM.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
                    Honestly, you're doing well. Keep it up.

                    Maybe you're right. I didn't go through your situation and just happen to know about the entire process... Or I did, and can only comment on threads that I have experience with.

                    My thoughts on your ex is that the family moved and you stayed behind. Would have been nice for D4 if you went as well, but eventually you found yourself and was ready to parent again.
                    Lol .. who sounds ridiculous?

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
                      Honestly, you're doing well. Keep it up.

                      Maybe you're right. I didn't go through your situation and just happen to know about the entire process... Or I did, and can only comment on threads that I have experience with.

                      My thoughts on your ex is that the family moved and you stayed behind. Would have been nice for D4 if you went as well, but eventually you found yourself and was ready to parent again.

                      Eta: I would add keep backgroundnoise out of the Courtroom to my advice list
                      This is an outlandish thing to say. You sound like you are LF32's ex (which wouldn't surprise me at all). Your fears on who he would or would not bring to court is quite revealing.

                      Comment


                      • I'm sure that in time, when this whole thing plays out, the cream will surely rise to the top.

                        The only female individual who shows true caring, maternal aptitude is the one who poster earlier today IMO. The others are a disgrace to the word "motherhood" and are, well, simply placenta. The "old goat" must be getting a tad anxious about supporting the young goat by now. I must say, it is quite the example being set for D4.

                        So OntarioDaddymommy, keep tooting whatever it is you are snorting up that vacant brain of yours.
                        Last edited by arabian; 08-04-2015, 03:26 PM.

                        Comment


                        • Regarding Disclsore .. I had a quick question.

                          Going through the CC transcripts I ask for it .. and pretty sure judge granted it. But wording is a bit cloudy.

                          These were the words:

                          Me:
                          I haven’t been given any kind of evidence or proof. I would like if your honor could direct them to disclose any proof for withholding my daughter from me for 3 months if possible.

                          Judge:
                          Well, there are allegations and you’re entitled to ask for documentary evidence there is. But just establish that there are no police records or CAS investigations; so since it appears that nobody went to the police about any of these things. ALL RIGHT!
                          Subsequently, in the endorsement the judge wrote that parties will give prompt disclosure of all doc's of relevance upon request.

                          When I self-repped I asked again about disclosure and LAO told me that I was denied it at the CC. But the CC judges words above and in his endorsement say otherwise.

                          Additionally, I requested an official affidavit of doc's. LAO replied saying that the usual process is that we exchange. We gave each other a time limit .. I sent mine ... they didnt.

                          Then I sent a Form 20 (Request of info) requesting all doc's, etc I was seeking and was told wrong form.

                          My lawyer is now asking LAO to comment on his refusal to disclose anything (in writing ..)

                          What's with the on disclosure. How is that narrowing issues?

                          Comment


                          • we got a Multiple account holder here.....not hard to figure out who...because power corrupts.

                            Something you learn from my boot camp.....shhh all the chat has been private for some time.

                            Regards All!

                            Comment


                            • Mr T. is correct. Most the juicy stuff is going on via e-mail...and for a good reason! lol

                              Comment


                              • I can not view the post above mine. Anyone else?

                                Comment

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