Seperation agreements and Divorce

[pwilbur]

I am currently battling with my ex and trying to get divorced. Our seperation agreement stated that when the divorce was final she would be taken off my medical benifits from work. I filed the divorce papers with the court having her served, I waited the thirty days and went back to the court to get the divorce finalized to find that she had filed to stop the divorce. I was never served papers but did recieve them in the mail a few days later. I was told I should seek legal help which I did. Now after two years of case conferances we are still where we were when we started.
She now says that she has a heart condition and is diabetic and needs to stay on my benifits. She did not have either condition when we were married and I consider her obesity and her smoking habits to be contributing to these illnesses and i would see that as a life style illness and nothing else. There was a clause in our seperation agreement that stated no matter our health or financial status we were still obligated to our seperation agreement. I have done everything our agreement required me to do and now she is allowed to have our agreement changed. My lawyer doesnt think there is a problem with this. The big problem is that with my ex still on my benifits I cannot put my girlfriend on my benifits and when we get married I still wont be able to because the ex would still be on them.
I guess the big question is why can the ex change what the seperation agreement says after ten years when it was her lawyer that made it in the first place. PS I think my lawyer is a crackpot

[standing on the sidelines]

i think your lawyer is a idiot also. It clearly stated the terms in your separation agreement and she should live up to them. Its not your fault that her lifestyle has now made her ill. I would tell your ex that if she wants she can take it to court but you will be going for costs.

Check with your benefit provider, they may not even allow you to keep your ex on your benefits once divorced. I would check there first and if they dont then get a conformation letter from them and send it to the ex.

[NBDad]

What does your carrier say about it? A lot of them have guidelines about what they will allow.

Simply call the carrier, tell them you have been legally separated for X years and that you need to know what their stance in on that. (Ie. when does she have to be removed? Then get that in writing from them)

Then it becomes "the carrier won't allow her to stay on" rather than "I don't want her to stay on".

[NBDad]

Also check on whether they allow common law to be included. If that's the case, indicate your common law with the girlfriend, and as per the carrier, you cannot keep the ex wife on the benefits.

[pwilbur]

Thanks for the advice. I've decided to let it go to trial which is a roll of the dice but at this point I have no option. I would have loved to have settled but I just can't live with giving the ex benifits and not giving my future wife any. What I really need to know is do judges on a regular basis change seperation agreements? There is a clause in my agreement that talks about no matter what happens to either of us financially, health wise or anything else it doesn't change what our responsibilities our as to the agreement. Even when I was off work I always made my child support payments because that was my responsibility. Fair is fair.

[Lorac]

My health plan carrier told me that unless it's court ordered he will be taken off my plan as we are no longer considered husband and wife. In my case the court did order him to stay on my plan so he's safe.