Adult Issues

[kingstonmomof2]

Hi everyone.
Has anyone ever read any case law or even threads on here with regards to a parent sharing and communicating with children about Adult Issues?

Thanks!

[ensorcelled]

Can you be more specific? It's a divorce forum so I'm guessing you want info as to how to break the news to your kids in an age-appropriate way?

[Links17]

Judges often order parents not to share details of the litigation with children. I have never read a case of a parent being directly punished for it though but judges criticize it in their judgements

[kingstonmomof2]

Can you be more specific? It's a divorce forum so I'm guessing you want info as to how to break the news to your kids in an age-appropriate way?

Great question! I didn't realize how vague my question was. I am referring to a parent sharing their personal money issues with their kids (dad told our D 15 that if she didn't go back to bi weekly acces he would have to claim bankruptcy) , telling a 12 year old their mom is a liar, etc. The list goes on. Those adult issues.

Thanks Links. I figured as much.

[arabian]

In September 2012 you posted:

"Hi All, I am from Eastern Ontario, been separated for nearly 5 years, 2 children (10 &12), and am for the first time seriously considering talking to a lawyer I will post on my issue...Be gentle?"

Simple math - you've been separated now for almost 8 years.

I think it's safe to postulate that your children have been smack-dab in the middle of things for many years and have likely heard many things that they shouldn't have.

I don't think it is a bad idea to let kids in on financial realities, particularly if children become demanding of material things that the parents simply cannot afford to purchase.

Don't forget that kids are smart and know how to play parents. If your children have benefited before from parent-guilt when the two of you were fighting then it stands to reason that the children could very well manipulate the situation so the parents once again start to fight. This could be reason your children are telling you that your ex is calling you names.

Perhaps it is time to tell the kids you don't want to hear what dad/mom has to say?

[Janibel]

As a parent I feel it's never a good idea to share your financial troubles with your children. One could give them an overall picture - "money is tight" kind of talk and that's it. Divorce is hard enough on them without including them in all the gory details.

Having said that, kids should be taught the basics of how to manage money even at a very young age. Too many kidlets and teens believe money grows on trees and parents are nothing more than cash machines ....

Concerning the back and forth mud slinging - your Ex should realize the harm he inflicts when dragging down the other parent. Whatever species of nut-job the Ex may or may not be - they are still 50% of what created this young person.

Legally, if he persists in poisoning your child/children with fear mongering and negative brain-washing, you could take him to court for parental alienation - though it's an up hill battle to prove in court.

Arabian is right, kids will use guilt to manipulate parents if they see an advantage - it's your job to set down the boundaries and make certain they are respected.

Be the better parent by not involving yourself in the drama. In time your children will come to their own conclusions

[arabian]

Your ex may very well benefit from going bankrupt. Not your business, however, and if the topic comes up again I'd simply tell the kids how your ex deals with his finances is none of your business. I'd then suggest they look up bankruptcy in Ontario (or whatever province you live in) on the internet and if they have questions to ask their father about it.