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  • Nfp

    So I completed my NFP several months ago.

    My stbx also completed her NFP and they are very similar. Off by a couple thousand dollars based on different appraised values of the house etc. I'm not to concerned about that.

    So with all mutual assets 50/50 and disposition costs on the NFP she owes me $XX,XXX.XX.

    Assuming the house gets sold she can afford this buyout without touching her pension. I offered for her to keep the house as a proposal which was rejected.

    She wants to keep the house but does not want to touch her pension in order to buy me out. Which means she does not have enough cash to do it.

    She told me that she is not negotiating and is planning on going to court as she said "No judge is going to kick me out of my house"

    So my question is do judges ever not stick to an equalization payment as per the NFP because it's not in the best interest of the kids.

    edit: A lot of missing information here and lots of assumptions, but just asking in general. If you need more details I'll see what I can do.

    Thanks

  • #2
    It is money owed to you. If it is in the best interests of the children people can negotiate delays or other reasonable steps. For example, some parties will accept "payment" in the form of agreeing to withhold child support until the debt is paid, so that their kids can continue to live in the home instead of trying to compel sale immediately.

    One of the tragedies of separation is that both parties are often not left with enough to live how they would like. In your situation, if she does not want to sell the house then a pension division would allow her to buy you out. Unfortunately for your ex, the legal stance of "I don't wanna" does not sway many judges.

    Comment


    • #3
      Good to know thanks.

      Also a Judge may care about the kids but the bank could care less and it's the bank that really owns the house.

      I had considered taking less and considering it as buying her out of some spousal support (which I don't feel is required). I was unwilling to propose that at this time as we have other major issues we need to work through first.

      Comment


      • #4
        If she cannot afford to buy you out or remortgage the home to do so,the home is sold and the proceeds split.

        It's pretty cut and dried, and your ex is dead wrong. If she goes to court, the judge will order the equalization, and her pension comes into play.

        If she forces it that far, don't forget to ask for costs for her being unreasonable.

        You can't fix stupid, so send one final settlement offer and then instruct your lawyer to move forward to court.

        Comment


        • #5
          Can't fix stupid LOL.

          Good to know thanks. I have sent a proposal which was rejected on all levels and also stating

          "Ms. XXXXXXXXXXXXX has always been willing to negotiate an amicable settlement of these matters with your client for the sake of the family, however she cannot make concessions to the detriment of the children and herself, and she will proceed to have the matter adjudicated if necessary".

          We later asked for a counter offer and she ignored the request.

          My lawyer is filling out the application now and it will be ready for me to sign on Sept 6th.

          Thanks

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by FB_ View Post
            "Ms. XXXXXXXXXXXXX has always been willing to negotiate an amicable settlement of these matters with your client for the sake of the family, however she cannot make concessions to the detriment of the children and herself, and she will proceed to have the matter adjudicated if necessary".
            To which you can state that you are also unable to make concessions to the detriment of the children and yourself, and you will proceed to have the matter adjudicated if necessary.

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            • #7
              Don't forget to ask for costs.
              Does her NFP contain her pension valuation as well? Go over her docs and make sure she's got everything accounted for.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                Don't forget to ask for costs.
                Does her NFP contain her pension valuation as well? Go over her docs and make sure she's got everything accounted for.
                Yes, that's what is making the nfp so lopsided as well as all her student debt she had coming into the marriage. I had zero debt and assets. However I have no statements from 2002 proving my assets so they are not even included except for the value of my car.

                We have over $100K in equity in our house and she wants me to "walk away" from. So I believe she thinks the judge is just going to give her the house free of charge because she can't afford the equalization payment. The funny thing is if I keep the house, refinance it and pay off all the debt, she still owes me money. So you can see how lopsided it is mostly because of her pension.

                Do I have to claim costs on the initial application?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Your lawyer would be better able to answer that. If you wind up having to go to trial over it, simply make sure that at some point, you include a request for costs, due to her having a reasonable offer on the table and refusing it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Claims costs on ALL applications/motions. If you don't ask for something, the court can't/won't award it.

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                    • #11
                      I also booked cruise for myself, the kids and my dad. I sent a letter asking her to sign the permission to travel she said no because it's during school. My kids will be in JK and grade 2 so i don't see the issue. My lawyer said we could bring it up but it might cost me a couple thousand. The trip is the first week of December and my lawyer said we might not get a case conference until Nov. So he said it would probably have to be brought up on an emergency basis.

                      I'm really debating what to do. Do I fight out of principal as this will continue to be an issue until she gets told by someone she can't stop these kind of things. Or do we wait and get it argued later on.

                      I can get a full refund on the trip up until Sept 17th, so I'm trying to decide what to do. The kids were free so I might just go myself on the trip as the price was really cheap.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        When does school let out for them? If it's relatively close to that time, you can argue that it's just before the holidays anyway, and it's a nice opportunity for the kids to spend time with their grandfather.

                        The "aging grandparent" schtick is definitely an exploitable angle. Ensure you have asked the teacher's to provide any work that needs to be done ahead of time, so you can show you are accounting for the time away from the classroom.

                        You simply file a motion (separately from the rest of it) asking to dispense with her permission to travel for the purpose of this vacation, and ask for the costs of the motion to be born by her as well.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks.

                          EDIT:

                          It lets out 3 weeks later.

                          Apparently it's against school board policy to request homework

                          Comment

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