I have come to the forum in hopes of finding guidance to navigate myself through the legal system while I fight my case of sole custody, child support, spousal support if possible, division of property, and division of personal/business assets accumulated during our marriage.
My ex and I have now been separated since August 10th, 2013 as a result of restraining order. There were issues of emotional, verbal and financial abuse. When my ex tried to take it to the next level, physical abuse, I went to to the police station and told them what was happening, including the recording device he had placed on the home phone etc.
He was arrested on charges of criminal harassment and possession of recording device. While the case was on going, he maintained that he didn't want divorce, he wanted to try to make things better and he would support me and the kids until we were back together. He provided financial support for two-three months, and very little child support for two more months after that, and then nothing. During this time I found a job and was able to support myself. But things were difficult because I am not making enough to maintain the house, pay for all child care expenses, living expenses, pay off debt accumulated while we were together etc. He is maintaining the position to CAS worker and other people involved in this case that he is continuously providing support , this is lie.
In the beginning I filed for child and spousal support only; at that time I wasn't working, and he hadn't been sentenced. Once he was sentenced he filed for divorce, spousal support, division of property, the works! I agreed with his claim for divorce and division of property provided there is division of his business asset, as I helped him start his business after we got married.
The following issues are at dispute:
1) He is self employed and shows he makes nothing more than 15k-17k (in reality, minimum he makes close to 65k-70k after all business expense and taxes paid off, plus cash jobs). Since I make 50k, he has filed for spousal support.
2) He wants joint custody, but because of the abuse involved I am very afraid to be in constant contact with him and if and when I were to say something that he didn't agree with I would again have to deal with a person who is being very abusive and difficult.
3) The extra expenses such as RESP, orthotics (my daughter needs them) etc. Last year I paid all of it and paying for it even this year while he has contributed nothing towards it and based on the income - he shows - he wouldn't have to contribute too much towards it anyways.
4) Since he has medical, dental, drug and other benefits through his union I am asking that he keeps on them, which he doesn't want to.
5) He wants sale of matrimonial property and his share. I am not fighting that. But I propose that either a) divide his business net worth and the house's net worth and then I will pay him any extra amount I would need to buy his share in the house from whatever I would get from a share in his business's net worth, or b)neither sells anything, he keeps the business and I keep the house and we each relinquish our right in the other person's asset.
6) He is refusing to pay any part in the debt accumulated during our marriage, even thought he contributed to no less than 80% and maintains that all the debt is on my cards and that means I accumulated the entire debt. It is true that all debt is on my cards, but the reason is because, he couldn't get CC or LOC or any loan from any institution because of bankruptcy (that is why even the mortgage is in my name, and I have paid every single mortgage payment even the down payment). So, I got supplemental cards in his name from my CC companies, which he maxed out and now refusing to pay so I make all the minimum payments.
He is fighting me on all the above mentioned points, and I am having to fight him and his very devious lawyer on my own (can't afford a lawyer and not eligible for legal aid) and therefore from time to time will posts on the forum to get advice as to how to prepare myself for the first case conference in August 14, 2013.
I will need help with how should communicate my position to the court and what I need to look out for, because my ex's lawyer is very manipulative, and he his portraying my ex is victim of circumstances and me as the abuser.
My ex and I have now been separated since August 10th, 2013 as a result of restraining order. There were issues of emotional, verbal and financial abuse. When my ex tried to take it to the next level, physical abuse, I went to to the police station and told them what was happening, including the recording device he had placed on the home phone etc.
He was arrested on charges of criminal harassment and possession of recording device. While the case was on going, he maintained that he didn't want divorce, he wanted to try to make things better and he would support me and the kids until we were back together. He provided financial support for two-three months, and very little child support for two more months after that, and then nothing. During this time I found a job and was able to support myself. But things were difficult because I am not making enough to maintain the house, pay for all child care expenses, living expenses, pay off debt accumulated while we were together etc. He is maintaining the position to CAS worker and other people involved in this case that he is continuously providing support , this is lie.
In the beginning I filed for child and spousal support only; at that time I wasn't working, and he hadn't been sentenced. Once he was sentenced he filed for divorce, spousal support, division of property, the works! I agreed with his claim for divorce and division of property provided there is division of his business asset, as I helped him start his business after we got married.
The following issues are at dispute:
1) He is self employed and shows he makes nothing more than 15k-17k (in reality, minimum he makes close to 65k-70k after all business expense and taxes paid off, plus cash jobs). Since I make 50k, he has filed for spousal support.
2) He wants joint custody, but because of the abuse involved I am very afraid to be in constant contact with him and if and when I were to say something that he didn't agree with I would again have to deal with a person who is being very abusive and difficult.
3) The extra expenses such as RESP, orthotics (my daughter needs them) etc. Last year I paid all of it and paying for it even this year while he has contributed nothing towards it and based on the income - he shows - he wouldn't have to contribute too much towards it anyways.
4) Since he has medical, dental, drug and other benefits through his union I am asking that he keeps on them, which he doesn't want to.
5) He wants sale of matrimonial property and his share. I am not fighting that. But I propose that either a) divide his business net worth and the house's net worth and then I will pay him any extra amount I would need to buy his share in the house from whatever I would get from a share in his business's net worth, or b)neither sells anything, he keeps the business and I keep the house and we each relinquish our right in the other person's asset.
6) He is refusing to pay any part in the debt accumulated during our marriage, even thought he contributed to no less than 80% and maintains that all the debt is on my cards and that means I accumulated the entire debt. It is true that all debt is on my cards, but the reason is because, he couldn't get CC or LOC or any loan from any institution because of bankruptcy (that is why even the mortgage is in my name, and I have paid every single mortgage payment even the down payment). So, I got supplemental cards in his name from my CC companies, which he maxed out and now refusing to pay so I make all the minimum payments.
He is fighting me on all the above mentioned points, and I am having to fight him and his very devious lawyer on my own (can't afford a lawyer and not eligible for legal aid) and therefore from time to time will posts on the forum to get advice as to how to prepare myself for the first case conference in August 14, 2013.
I will need help with how should communicate my position to the court and what I need to look out for, because my ex's lawyer is very manipulative, and he his portraying my ex is victim of circumstances and me as the abuser.
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