Kid worried about cat - how to handle?

[Links17]

How is this helpful in any way...?

It is exactly the problem....

1. She assumes the kid is 100% is accurate while also admitting she probably isn't

2. She assumes that the 2 adults are killing the cat because it is convenient though if a cat peeing everywhere by itself and is old it probably is very problematic, we all know vet surgery can run thousands of dollars and everything will taste death...

3. Considering it was her cat for many years, inquiring on the state of the cat with her EX would be completely reasonable but failure to do so and instead make all these assumptions is indicative of other problems..

Can I have written this explanation the first time - yes... However its always good to be concise (not a la LF32 - the master of dragging things out )

Guilty with Costs....

[PeacefulMoments]

I think an important thing for kidlet to understand is that although you may go the extra distance to care for the animals until the last moment possible, not everyone can or will make the same choice - and they have the right to choose that for their pet and family.

It doesn't make one right or the other wrong, it's just the way it is sometimes.

This exactly. Having said that, I feel for you and kid both. It's a difficult thing to go through, and more difficult when you have no real control over the situation.

[blinkandimgone]

It is exactly the problem....

1. She assumes the kid is 100% is accurate while also admitting she probably isn't

2. She assumes that the 2 adults are killing the cat because it is convenient though if a cat peeing everywhere by itself and is old it probably is very problematic, we all know vet surgery can run thousands of dollars and everything will taste death...

3. Considering it was her cat for many years, inquiring on the state of the cat with her EX would be completely reasonable but failure to do so and instead make all these assumptions is indicative of other problems..

Can I have written this explanation the first time - yes... However its always good to be concise (not a la LF32 - the master of dragging things out )

Guilty with Costs....

You know you're a cantankerous P.I.T.A., right?

[Links17]

You know you're a cantankerous P.I.T.A., right?

I just blinked... you're still there?

[blinkandimgone]

Make that an unoriginal cantankerous P.I.T.A.!

[stripes]

It is exactly the problem....

1. She assumes the kid is 100% is accurate while also admitting she probably isn't

2. She assumes that the 2 adults are killing the cat because it is convenient though if a cat peeing everywhere by itself and is old it probably is very problematic, we all know vet surgery can run thousands of dollars and everything will taste death...

3. Considering it was her cat for many years, inquiring on the state of the cat with her EX would be completely reasonable but failure to do so and instead make all these assumptions is indicative of other problems..

Can I have written this explanation the first time - yes... However its always good to be concise (not a la LF32 - the master of dragging things out )

Guilty with Costs....

None of that is in my post.

Dude, you really need to read the words on the screen before you try to reply. You're getting trigger-happy.

[Links17]

I don't want to undermine Dad and Stepmom's authority by telling Kid that I think it's terrible to euthanize a pet just because they're getting inconvenient.

THUS you imply they are killing cat due to convenience.

I don't know for sure what Stepmom said because all I have is Kid's account, but from the little I know of that household, Stepmom rules the roost and makes the decisions. It's possible Kid is misinterpreting Stepmom, but I don't want to dismiss her concerns.

All the post is based on kid-say and here you acknowledge the weakness of kid-say

[arabian]

my "links-speak" interpretation is that he is trying to say that a) your kid might be exaggerating and b) instead of fretting and worrying over the situation you should talk to your ex.

Correct Links?

[stripes]

A) I know my kid might be exaggerating and said so. It is also possible she is not exaggerating. She is genuinely distressed and her distress is the main issue for me.

B) As I also said, Kid asked me not to talk to her father because she's afraid she will get in trouble for telling me. In the ideal world I would be able to email him and ask what's up with the cat.

This is what I mean about reading the words on the screen before replying. I suspect Links just sees the screen name of someone he doesn't like and BINGO! the back of the brain starts firing off a reply that doesn't make sense.

[mcdreamy]

This is what I mean about reading the words on the screen before replying. I suspect Links just sees the screen name of someone he doesn't like and BINGO! the back of the brain starts firing off a reply that doesn't make sense.

Mansplaining: to delight in condescending, inaccurate explanations delivered with rock solid confidence of rightness and that slimy certainty that of course he is right, because he is the man in this conversation

[mcdreamy]

Stripes, I honestly think that since this was originally your cat, you aren't overstepping boundaries by quietly emailing your ex and asking him if their house would like your house to take over responsibility. Portray it as him doing a favor for you, and you'll owe him one.

If they won't consider that option, then I'm afraid you are going to have to prepare her for the quite realistic truth that families have to sometimes make decisions for the health and wellbeing of their family pets. I'd vocally support my ex' decision to our kidlet if he felt euthanasia was necessary -- even though I might not agree with it.

But what's the harm in first emailing and asking for your cat back?

[Links17]

I suspect Links just sees the screen name of someone he doesn't like and BINGO!

1. To be perfectly honest, I read the post and I reply without considering the poster. On a thread I might put multiple posts together to arrive at a conclusion (i.e: selfrep000 = the liar).

2. I wouldn't say I don't like you, you aren't particularly stupid, unfair or unreasonable. I respect your opinion in fact as well as almost everybody who posts here with the exception of 2-3, (none are senior members).

3. For the forum, I turn off my PC, "be nice" filter and just say the direct truth. I get tired of continuously managing my real-life responses, the forum let's me cut loose a bit but generally I deliver serious but curt responses - you just have to toughen up a bit and find the wisdom in my sermon....

my "links-speak" interpretation is that he is trying to say that a) your kid might be exaggerating and b) instead of fretting and worrying over the situation you should talk to your ex.

Correct Links?

Yes (more or less) , and I think you agree and in fact it seems McDreamy agreed (After making another sexist comment against me.... where is the justice?)

Mansplaining: to delight in condescending, inaccurate explanations delivered with rock solid confidence of rightness and that slimy certainty that of course he is right, because he is the man in this conversation

I will be 100% honest, the fact I am a male and somebody else is female has absolutely 100% no bearing on my position in any debate. I give everybody equal respect. I find it distasteful to try to dismiss my opinion by attacking the context or person - just argue the point.

McDreamy; let's not forget your pretty much just agreed with me on top of everything, are you a mansplainer too maybe??

Can I get you unmoderatered? - I feel forum admin abuse and we have unequal power relationship...


Also, most of the time when I am posting here - I am half-smiling , don't take things too seriously (for everybody) - we're all gonna die anyways one day and we are just leaves in the wind...

[stripes]

Stripes, I honestly think that since this was originally your cat, you aren't overstepping boundaries by quietly emailing your ex and asking him if their house would like your house to take over responsibility. Portray it as him doing a favor for you, and you'll owe him one.

If they won't consider that option, then I'm afraid you are going to have to prepare her for the quite realistic truth that families have to sometimes make decisions for the health and wellbeing of their family pets. I'd vocally support my ex' decision to our kidlet if he felt euthanasia was necessary -- even though I might not agree with it.

But what's the harm in first emailing and asking for your cat back?

That would be my ideal solution, but Kid doesn't want me to talk to her father about it, because then he will know she told me about the cat, and she will get in trouble because she isn't supposed to tell me about anything at his house. I don't know if this is realistic (would ex really be mad at Kid for talking to me about his house?) but it's a matter of trust for Kid.

(And my ex is kind of a jerk, so I suspect if I did suggest bringing the cat to my place, he'd find some way of making it into a S7 expense. Or maybe charge me for four years of retroactive cat support [CS]).

[Tayken]

I have nothing valuable to add and remind everyone that cats are evil:

Research says your cat might be thinking about killing you? Really? - CNET

and

Sorry, But Your Cat Is Actually A Total Jerk. It's Just Science.

[mcdreamy]

I have nothing valuable to add and remind everyone that cats are evil:

Research says your cat might be thinking about killing you? Really? - CNET

and

Sorry, But Your Cat Is Actually A Total Jerk. It's Just Science.

It doesn't happen without a song.