Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #81  
Old 01-10-2018, 11:42 AM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 88
tunnelight has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Challenge accepted



Sexist pig

Lmao. No need to chop up her sentences to prove she is a sexist pig. You can take her entire sentences and just point to her very well thought out wording to point out her thought process and state of mind.

The fact that she get's defensive doesn't convince me in any other ways either.
  #82  
Old 01-10-2018, 11:49 AM
Rioe's Avatar
Rioe Rioe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,272
Rioe will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tunnelight View Post
Anyway, You have completely forgotten the background context. The original statement made by Rioe was:
Quote:
Iit's going to take teaching boys parenting skills from childhood and encouraging them to have deep friendships beyond their family so they have a support network in adulthood.
My question was, and why is that something we only need to teach boys and not girls and whether it was a skewed mindset we (or rather some people) have of men as a society .
Of course all children should be taught these things. Right now though, it's something most girls are already taught from an early age, with the aforementioned dolls and babysitting and deep supportive friendships, while most boys aren't.

We do a pretty good job now of encouraging girls into STEM, but there is still not an equivalent system that encourages boys into nurturing. In fact, when we try, people complain that feminism is turning men into betas, etc. Society is far from finished making things equal for everybody, and men suffer for it in family law.

I feel like I've taken the original thread way off track, by speculating that it was this lack of teaching that was part of the background of this man's terrible actions. Maybe mods could branch it off into another thread.
  #83  
Old 01-10-2018, 12:03 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,267
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tunnelight View Post
Lmao. No need to chop up her sentences to prove she is a sexist pig. You can take her entire sentences and just point to her very well thought out wording to point out her thought process and state of mind.

The fact that she get's defensive doesn't convince me in any other ways either.
I am a sexist pig? As one of the biggest defenders and supporters of equal parenting for men, you have clearly never read any of my posts and have no idea who i am. Twisting what someone says and means to suit your agenda does not make them into what you are attempting to portray.
It simply means you only read what you ate looking for and skip the actual point.

When you run out of reasonable thought to debate and need to resort to spin, name calling and defamation of character, you can consider your argument a complete loss.
  #84  
Old 01-10-2018, 12:07 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 88
tunnelight has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Of course all children should be taught these things. Right now though, it's something most girls are already taught from an early age, with the aforementioned dolls and babysitting and deep supportive friendships, while most boys aren't.

We do a pretty good job now of encouraging girls into STEM, but there is still not an equivalent system that encourages boys into nurturing.
But then again, how are we not teaching these things to boys when they have pets that they look after and nurture ? Or younger brothers and sisters (siblings) or even step brothers and step sisters ? Little action figures and teddy bears ?

Doesn't matter - you've made your opinion very bold and clear. Women and mom's are more nurturing then are farthers and men.
  #85  
Old 01-10-2018, 12:10 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 88
tunnelight has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
I am a sexist pig? As one of the biggest defenders and supporters of equal parenting for men, you have clearly never read any of my posts and have no idea who i am. Twisting what someone says and means to suit your agenda does not make them into what you are attempting to portray.
It simply means you only read what you ate looking for and skip the actual point.

When you run out of reasonable thought to debate and need to resort to spin, name calling and defamation of character, you can consider your argument a complete loss.
Ah.... Getting defensive again I see...

I did not call you a sexist pig -- Janus did. And I just said he wouldn't have to do that to prove his point. There are other ways in which he could do it.

It wasn't you who said something about taking things out of context and putting words in people's mouth a little earlier on now was it ?
  #86  
Old 01-10-2018, 12:13 PM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 88
tunnelight has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
by speculating that it was this lack of teaching that was part of the background of this man's terrible actions. Maybe mods could branch it off into another thread.
Speculating is the right word. There is no evidence that there was suck lack of teaching, or that playing with dolls as a child makes you a better parent. I am sure the women who killed their kids played with dolls as kids too. May have even poked needles in their dolls.
  #87  
Old 01-10-2018, 12:29 PM
Rioe's Avatar
Rioe Rioe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,272
Rioe will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tunnelight View Post
But then again, how are we not teaching these things to boys when they have pets that they look after and nurture ? Or younger brothers and sisters (siblings) or even step brothers and step sisters ? Little action figures and teddy bears ?

Doesn't matter - you've made your opinion very bold and clear. Women and mom's are more nurturing then are farthers and men.
I'm getting the impression you are deliberately not seeing my point. All I've ever said is that women are presently given a big head start on learning nurturing skills as girls, while men are held back as boys. This results in women, on average, being more nurturing than men. I have never said that this is right, or set in stone, and I'm actually a big fan of changing it.

Men can be wonderful nurturers (just as some women are crap at it!) but society has to not only teach them the skills, we also have to teach them to value learning them.

I'm glad you're so adamant though, and that you don't see some of what I've seen. It means you're on the forefront of the revolution.

Honestly, I've always thought there should be a training and licensing program of some sort before people should be allowed to be parents. It takes years of lessons and practice and big tests before we let people drive cars, and yet when they have a baby, we just congratulate them and wish them luck.
  #88  
Old 01-10-2018, 12:58 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,267
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

Yes, my very early on point that he is purposely missing the point in order to twist what is actually said. But that's his MO.
  #89  
Old 01-13-2018, 12:29 AM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 88
tunnelight has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
I'm getting the impression you are deliberately not seeing my point. All I've ever said is that women are presently given a big head start on learning nurturing skills as girls, while men are held back as boys. This results in women, on average, being more nurturing than men. I have never said that this is right, or set in stone, and I'm actually a big fan of changing it.
How exactly are women given a heard start on learning nurturing skills as girls ? I know you have stated that your theory isn't actually right or set in stone - and that you want to change it - but your quote below contradicts your statement.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Men can be wonderful nurturers (just as some women are crap at it!) but society has to not only teach them the skills, we also have to teach them to value learning them.
What draws you to the conclusion that society only teaches women nurturing skills and not men. And further, what draws you to the conclusion that we have to teach men to value learning nurturing skills ? What draws you to the conclusion that man don't value learning nurturing skills ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
Honestly, I've always thought there should be a training and licensing program of some sort before people should be allowed to be parents. It takes years of lessons and practice and big tests before we let people drive cars, and yet when they have a baby, we just congratulate them and wish them luck.
yes - because playing with dolls doesn't teach those skills. Glad you are able to finally agree with me on that point.


I think feminist theory could do much toward exploding the myth that parenting is a sex-linked trait
  #90  
Old 01-13-2018, 01:16 AM
tunnelight tunnelight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 88
tunnelight has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
Yes, my very early on point that he is purposely missing the point in order to twist what is actually said. But that's his MO.
I agree with you and Rioe to an extend. I precisely disagree that we need to teach men as boys nurturing skills so that we can be as competent parents as women.

Here is some good reading for you two.

Quote:
A French study published earlier this year found that fathers are able to recognize whether a crying baby is their child as reliably as mothers can. A recent study out of Israel found that men’s brains rewire for parenting just as much as women’s do when a new baby is born — a finding that challenges the long-held, cross-cultural assumption that women are biologically primed to be better parents. “Maternal instinct,” researchers say, is not innate, but socially constructed, an idea built around the post-Industrial age expectation that women should stay home with the children and keep house.

In fact, there is growing consensus among scientists and academics alike that affirms, yes, fathers do make good mothers. But in a society still defined by gender, do dads — and even moms — believe they’re just as suited to the task?

“Men definitely have this human capacity to connect with, respond to, and deeply nurture children of all ages,” said Andrea Doucet, the Canada Research Chair in Gender, Work and Care at Brock University, who has studied stay-at-home fathers for 20 years.

“What has been slower [are] the social judgements that men can in fact do this, especially with infants.”
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Christmas Day is becoming a nightmare! kate331 Parenting Issues 7 12-22-2017 10:17 AM
who gets Christmas for travel? trinton Divorce & Family Law 8 10-27-2017 10:49 AM
Separation Agreement Amendment GroscapChris Divorce & Family Law 4 05-19-2015 11:45 AM
Christmas Greetings Qrious General Chat 3 12-22-2013 10:46 AM
Christmas Schedule - Norm vs Order #1StepMom Divorce & Family Law 6 10-22-2009 09:47 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:12 PM.