Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Unbelievable.... I nearly threw up!!!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #76
    Originally posted by DunnMom View Post
    Dude .. Preach it to someone who gives a $hit. My kids are almost adults

    I get full table CS & have for 10 yrs now because despite living less than 15 minutes away my ex decided that EOW worked fine for him ("I" wanted 50/50 access) . Now that the youngest is 15, ex actually only has a overnight visit about 2-3 times a yr because quite frankly they have grown apart.

    If u add up my ex's income, his wife's income and then deduct the $12,000/yr he pays me in CS and then take my income, my husbands and add the $12,000 in CS I receive, MY household ends up ahead by about $9,000/yr

    So my household supports 6 of us while ex's is just him & his spouse

    Funny how we still manage to budget to take the kids to the DR every other year and my husband and I alone on the off years ... Yet ex bitches and moans constantly how hard done by he is (& to the kids which may play a factor in WHY the kids don't spend more time with him) .. Poor muffin

    Grow a set and be a parent and deal with actually being a involved and loving parent ... And don't spew the BS that your ex is keeping u from your kids because if u REALLY wanted to be a parent you would be and you wouldn't be on here spewing your BS and bitching and moaning ...
    Really? Excuse me Madame? ! Dude maybe is your hubby, grown kids?!
    Just wondering what are you looking for here, maybe some troubling in your marriage or a way how to manage your pension? If you got something wise to say that's fine but don't come here and express your frustrations!

    Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

    Comment


    • #77
      Originally posted by paco View Post
      Really? Excuse me Madame? ! Dude maybe is your hubby, grown kids?!
      Just wondering what are you looking for here, maybe some troubling in your marriage or a way how to manage your pension? If you got something wise to say that's fine but don't come here and express your frustrations!

      Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk
      LOL umm this is a divorce forum where people come to ask questions and vent.

      Comment


      • #78
        Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
        LOL umm this is a divorce forum where people come to ask questions and vent.
        "LOL"...that's all you're capable of, no comment!

        Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

        Comment


        • #79
          So this forum started with someone posting an old article about an issue discovered in a different jurisdiction that has a different legal system with different rules. It also didnt include a follow up on what happened after it was exposed. That led to sweeping generalizations about our systems, how we need to control cs spending and how men have it so bad. Now its become "you have the life you do because of people like me". Is this who we are? I thought we were supposed to be supporting and advising each other? Does the system suck? Sure. Are there people marginalized as a result? Absolutely. But this is true of anywhere, anything, anyone. Every situation is unique and you cant accuse someone of not understanding your situation if youre going to sit and judge them for theirs.

          Comment


          • #80
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            So this forum started with someone posting an old article about an issue discovered in a different jurisdiction that has a different legal system with different rules. It also didnt include a follow up on what happened after it was exposed. That led to sweeping generalizations about our systems, how we need to control cs spending and how men have it so bad. Now its become "you have the life you do because of people like me". Is this who we are? I thought we were supposed to be supporting and advising each other? Does the system suck? Sure. Are there people marginalized as a result? Absolutely. But this is true of anywhere, anything, anyone. Every situation is unique and you cant accuse someone of not understanding your situation if youre going to sit and judge them for theirs.
            The result is people are full of anger and frustration and they really can't express helpful opinions, and that's exactly what this forum is meant for, to get useful opinions from members experiences, every situation is different and it has to be treated differently.

            Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

            Comment


            • #81
              Paco & Concerned...if you two have it so figured out why don't you do something productive about it? Why don't you step up and make some positive changes? You two have nothing better to do than complain to an online forum. The problem is, you cannot control every person in your life. In your business, you may be able to control every dollar and every employee you have, but in life, you can't control every person around you.

              It is funny that you are here complaining how much some people have to pay and how you are supporting their lavish lifestyle, but I bet you would be the same people who come here to complain about how your children have to share bedrooms and wear clothes from the salvation army because the other parent can't afford to give them more. You would argue that because of that, you should have the majority of access because you can provide a better lifestyle.

              Personally, I find nothing wrong with kids sharing bedrooms or wearing clothes from the salvation army (they grow so fast!), but for big wigs like you think you are, would certainly have a problem with it.

              Comment


              • #82
                For people that believe C/S should only be for basic needs of the kids, when the children enjoyed a much broader lifestyle when the parents were together, those people are simply taking out their frustrations on the kids.

                For example, if the kids went away on vacations each year when their parents were married, they should be able to continue to enjoy such things to an extent once divorced. People are too focused on the ex's lifestyle, and how they see c/s is maintaining that, when it is the kids lifestyle that c/s is supposed to maintain. The ex's lifestyle will be moderately increased as a result.

                People who think like that are pretty narrow minded. To use an analogy that I believe suits the situation:

                If one is playing poker, any chip put into the pot, now belongs to the pot not to the person who put the chips into the middle. And the pot will be pushed to the winner, who now owns those chips until they decide to put them in the middle, or get up and leave.

                People who think their CP should have to justify how they spend c/s likely believe that C/S is their money. It isn't. It now belongs to the CP who is free to do with it as they wish. So long as the child isn't malnourished or dressed inappropriately (which would be child protection concerns and could cause the kids to be taken from the CP), one shouldn't concern themselves with what the other person does with their own money.

                Your employer doesn't ask for an accounting of how you spent your income, all they ask is that you do your job to the best of your ability. Same goes here, all you ask is that your ex, who may be the CP, raises the kids to the best of their ability.

                Comment


                • #83
                  Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                  Paco & Concerned...if you two have it so figured out why don't you do something productive about it? Why don't you step up and make some positive changes? You two have nothing better to do than complain to an online forum. The problem is, you cannot control every person in your life. In your business, you may be able to control every dollar and every employee you have, but in life, you can't control every person around you.

                  It is funny that you are here complaining how much some people have to pay and how you are supporting their lavish lifestyle, but I bet you would be the same people who come here to complain about how your children have to share bedrooms and wear clothes from the salvation army because the other parent can't afford to give them more. You would argue that because of that, you should have the majority of access because you can provide a better lifestyle.

                  Personally, I find nothing wrong with kids sharing bedrooms or wearing clothes from the salvation army (they grow so fast!), but for big wigs like you think you are, would certainly have a problem with it.
                  Berner_Faith, don't come here and preach us on parenting, you have no idea what you're talking, so please go back and control your hard earned money and your hubby, eventually.

                  Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Originally posted by paco View Post
                    Berner_Faith, don't come here and preach us on parenting, you have no idea what you're talking, so please go back and control your hard earned money and your hubby, eventually.

                    Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk
                    Paco,

                    Most of us here see Berner Faith as a voice of moderation and reason.

                    That was uncvil and uncalled for.

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Originally posted by Concerned View Post
                      When a child moves to an apartment with his mom Because of divorce... All he needs is shelter and food. To the child he sees four walls a bathroom and a living room Where he can continue his life. And that's it.
                      All a child needs is shelter and food (and clothes). Sure. But what child doesn't benefit from receiving more than the bare minimum? What parent doesn't want to be able to provide more than this bare minimum?

                      Originally posted by Concerned View Post
                      The only difference is when the child goes to visit wealthy daddy, he gets to bathe in a swimming pool and when he goes back to moms he bathes in a bath tub The kid won't die because of this!!!!!
                      No, but children are very materialistic, and he may translate this difference into dislike of poor parent, and want to spend more time at the wealthy parent's when he gets old enough to choose, purely because that's where the Xbox and the giant TV are. Which is not good for him.

                      A child doesn't stop existing when he is at the less well off parent's home. Why condemn him to living in squalor for (more than) half his life?

                      Originally posted by Concerned View Post
                      But to sit there and tell a wealthy father to cough most Of his earnings just because he can and so to maintain Ex mom's lifestyle after a divorce is proposterous !!! And then baking up this statement with a rational that It's for the well being of a child.... Pppfffft wtf!!!
                      Table CS usually amounts to about a quarter of a person's earnings, depending how many children are involved. There is plenty leftover for the wealthy parent. And it is not meant to maintain the ex's lifestyle. It is meant to maintain the child's lifestyle. That the ex also benefits is a side effect that family law considers acceptable.

                      Your anger and frustration are misdirected. Don't rail against the system itself, but against those few parents who abuse it.

                      To be honest, I'm really surprised your vehemence is directed at CS. I would have thought SS to be the far more likely target.

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by paco View Post
                        Berner_Faith, don't come here and preach us on parenting, you have no idea what you're talking, so please go back and control your hard earned money and your hubby, eventually.

                        Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk
                        Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                        Paco,

                        Most of us here see Berner Faith as a voice of moderation and reason.

                        That was uncvil and uncalled for.
                        Agreed with DowntroddenDad.

                        Paco, your posts are becoming extremely derogatory and such personal attacks will not be tolerated. If you have something to contribute to the thread, please do so. If not, please refrain from posting simply to trash others who disagree with you.

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
                          For people that believe C/S should only be for basic needs of the kids, when the children enjoyed a much broader lifestyle when the parents were together, those people are simply taking out their frustrations on the kids.

                          For example, if the kids went away on vacations each year when their parents were married, they should be able to continue to enjoy such things to an extent once divorced. People are too focused on the ex's lifestyle, and how they see c/s is maintaining that, when it is the kids lifestyle that c/s is supposed to maintain. The ex's lifestyle will be moderately increased as a result.

                          People who think like that are pretty narrow minded. To use an analogy that I believe suits the situation:

                          If one is playing poker, any chip put into the pot, now belongs to the pot not to the person who put the chips into the middle. And the pot will be pushed to the winner, who now owns those chips until they decide to put them in the middle, or get up and leave.

                          People who think their CP should have to justify how they spend c/s likely believe that C/S is their money. It isn't. It now belongs to the CP who is free to do with it as they wish. So long as the child isn't malnourished or dressed inappropriately (which would be child protection concerns and could cause the kids to be taken from the CP), one shouldn't concern themselves with what the other person does with their own money.

                          Your employer doesn't ask for an accounting of how you spent your income, all they ask is that you do your job to the best of your ability. Same goes here, all you ask is that your ex, who may be the CP, raises the kids to the best of their ability.
                          This is absolutely ridiculous.

                          1.
                          The ex's lifestyle will be moderately increased as a result.
                          This is a problem.

                          People who think their CP should have to justify how they spend c/s likely believe that C/S is their money. It isn't. It now belongs to the CP who is free to do with it as they wish. So long as the child isn't malnourished or dressed inappropriately (which would be child protection concerns and could cause the kids to be taken from the CP), one shouldn't concern themselves with what the other person does with their own money.
                          You are free to feel this way but for me I want to know that in general my CS is going only to my children. Whether for their current needs or saving for school. Family law might agree with part of what you're saying but that DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT!

                          Your employer doesn't ask for an accounting of how you spent your income, all they ask is that you do your job to the best of your ability. Same goes here, all you ask is that your ex, who may be the CP, raises the kids to the best of their ability.
                          You are comparing a person who EARNS their money versus a person who receives an automatic transfer. This is a completely unfair analogy.

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                            Agreed with DowntroddenDad.

                            Paco, your posts are becoming extremely derogatory and such personal attacks will not be tolerated. If you have something to contribute to the thread, please do so. If not, please refrain from posting simply to trash others who disagree with you.
                            Here here@! blink, I find that Paco's contribution is turning extremely negative and how dare he insult one of our most valued members. Berner_Faith is one of the kindest most intelligent people in here ...
                            Shame on you Paco! You should apologize.

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                              Agreed with DowntroddenDad.

                              Paco, your posts are becoming extremely derogatory and such personal attacks will not be tolerated. If you have something to contribute to the thread, please do so. If not, please refrain from posting simply to trash others who disagree with you.
                              I agree too. No matter how stupid/wrong you think somebody is you don't have the right to put them down unless you are PH then you can call ppl women hating misogynist's left,right and center without any consequences.
                              (part of this post is true, part is sarcasm)

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                                Paco,

                                Most of us here see Berner Faith as a voice of moderation and reason.

                                That was uncvil and uncalled for.
                                The way she talks and attitude it doesn't look a moderation way, you can't come here and preach us beeing a parent when you're not even close to that! Me personally I'm not here to complain, but I'm not going to keep my mouth shut when I see this kind of attitude, I may be wrong, I may be wright but she has no right to say that we have "control issues" when she has no ideea what's accountability is for.

                                Sent from my SGH-I717D using Tapatalk

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X