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I need a bottle of wine and some online opinions!

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  • I need a bottle of wine and some online opinions!

    Ok sooo my siginifcant other has 2 adult children 18&22
    His ex wife emails or texts him occassionally for money.
    I suggested he change his phone# and email so she couldnt bother him.
    He responded with "nah i don't see the benefit of doing that!"

    My inner freak is freaking out! Should i just pour some wine on my freak or is the red flag a wavin??

  • #2
    Ya need to sober up.

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    • #3
      Hahaha! Thanks haven't had a sip!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
        Hahaha! Thanks haven't had a sip!
        Maybe that's the problem, go get drunk lol!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
          Ok sooo my siginifcant other has 2 adult children 18&22
          His ex wife emails or texts him occassionally for money.
          I suggested he change his phone# and email so she couldnt bother him.
          He responded with "nah i don't see the benefit of doing that!"

          My inner freak is freaking out! Should i just pour some wine on my freak or is the red flag a wavin??
          install spyware on his phone and track him?

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          • #6
            Haha ya and just call me kim bassigner!
            Not that interested just thiught it was odd as i cant wait until i dont have to communicate with my ex!!

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            • #7
              Janibel and Serene are both right! Solution is a coffee with a good splash of Baileys.

              I'd let the worry go. The Ex only contacts occasionally and with only one purpose - money, as opposed to messages of regrets. If your SO did change his contact details his EX might still get the info from one of the children.

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              • #8
                no matter how old the kids get there maybe instances where your man needs to talk to his ex. Like if one of the kids gets hurt or injured. Don't let your insecurities win out. Its his ex and he should deal with her the way he sees fit.

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                • #9
                  I can see this would be highly irritating on two levels:

                  1- she is asking him for money she is seemingly not entitled to. Not sure if he is giving it to her, but if so it is taking money away from his current family to give to his ex. Not sure if it's for the kids or for her, but i can see how it would be grating if it is for her. If it is for the kids they are old enough to ask dad themselves if they need something.

                  2- it's an unnecessary connection to his past relationship with her outside of the kids. And that can be bothersome.

                  He doesn't seem too wound up about it, nor does he seem to want to damage what seems like it could be an amicable relationship. If it's not killing the two of you financially then I would let it go and leave it to him to deal with. Maybe you can let him know it bothers you and you don't agree with it, to the point you would rather not know about it, if that works for you.

                  If it becomes becomes a pattern where it is starting to have an impact on you financially, I would definitely try to nip it in the bud.

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                  • #10
                    You need to let it go. Shes going to email him for whatever reason and he has to keep the contact. Its his business not yours. If he starts making it your business then its a problem. Dont make it your business.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by ringettteplayer View Post
                      Ok sooo my siginifcant other has 2 adult children 18&22
                      His ex wife emails or texts him occassionally for money.
                      I suggested he change his phone# and email so she couldnt bother him.
                      He responded with "nah i don't see the benefit of doing that!"

                      My inner freak is freaking out! Should i just pour some wine on my freak or is the red flag a wavin??
                      Sounds to me like he's doing proper cost/benefit analysis. If she only asks for money occasionally, it's probably not worth the hassle to him of changing all his contact info and notifying everybody else he knows just to avoid the occasional phone call from his ex. Especially when she'd probably get his new contact info fairly easily.

                      I think the real question is, does he say no, or does he give her money now and then? Is it for the benefit of the kids? He may still have a CS obligation if they are attending school and still living with his ex, despite their ages. Even if they are not in school, but just mooching off their mom, I think he's being a kind and generous parent to help out. If he recognizes that the cost of their failure to launch is landing solely on the ex, I think it's admirable that he helps out a little.

                      I think I'd examine why you are having a little freak out. Is it because you want him all to yourself?

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                      • #12
                        ?

                        This sounds like a non-problem to me. If your husband isn't bothered by it, and it's not interfering in your life because it's infrequent, why shouldn't his ex (and the mother of his kids) know his phone number? This doesn't sound w(h)ine-worthy.

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                        • #13
                          Aww thx everyone for your input! You're right sometimes this chick just gets her feathers all ruffled over stooopid shyte! i just get all worried about the whole love thing sometimes n don't want to be burned again, however i shouldn't look for shit until i actually know its there!!
                          I appreciate you all calming my nerves!

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                          • #14
                            I get upset over this crap too. Its hard NOT to. But I just keep reminding myself this is his problem and as long as its not impacting our relationship then its not worth stressing over. We give ourselves "vent moments" where we both say what we feel during the situation thats happening. For instance during my vent moment I will tell him how unfair something is and how he deserves to be treated better. He will listen and do what he wants with what Ive said.

                            Its not easy being the partner of a divorced person but it works if you dont let their past control YOUR future.

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                            • #15
                              Very true rockscan,thx!!

                              Comment

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