Stopping CP from moving?

[ForwardFromHere]

My ex and I are still working on a sep agreement, but I have concerns about the future...

I am currently on a Care & Nuturing leave from my job until the fall of 2012. This contract was entered into with my employer while we were still married. On return to my job, I will no longer hold my previous position, but I am promised "a" job somewhere within the company, across the country, and the same salary rate. There have been layoffs in my current position, so it is very unlikely I will be able to return to the same job (in Toronto). I am thinking that the company will try to find a placement for me at head office, in Ottawa.

Another thought...my ex and the woman he cheated on me with both work in the same place as me. For this reason I would welcome the option of a new location, of course, but I am a big girl and could handle returning there if it is possible. However, I don't think I would fight to stay in Toronto (if I even could) if they offer me something in Ottawa, but I'm wondering if my ex has the right to fight me moving for employment in such a situation.

I have very specific skills related to this job, and therefore it is not likely I will find another job outside of this company for even half the salary I make there. Moving would make sense for this reason if it's the only way to stay employed with this company. I have been with them for 16 years.

I know people who live great distances from each other and make custody arrangements work, but what are the legal restrictions for such a situation? Is it all about what we write into the separation agreement? I don't want to have to take a job at my local Tim Horton's just because my ex will stop me from re-locating.

If he does try to fight me moving and I am forced to leave this company, is there any way I can claim he supports me while I return to school to train for a new career? I'm trying to look into this now so that I am not faced with possibly devastating financial changes on short notice.

Any thoughts? Advice? Thanks in advance.

[NBDad]

Depends on how amicable you are with the ex, the age of the children, and whether there are other opportunities in a similar field in the area.

Can he stop you from moving if there are children involved? Very easily. You would have to show that it would be more beneficial for the children to move, and trust me, speaking as someone who has stopped a move, you need some pretty damn good reasons to separate the children away from the other parent.

On the flip side, if you had to take a LOWER paying job, then the ex would have to start paying more child support. If spousal support has not been discussed yet, then having to take a lower paying job could potentially open that door as well. You would have to consult a lawyer to see the options available with respect to that.

[billiechic]

It sounds like you would have the best reasons to move (if you had to) but that does not mean that you would be allowed. Obviously he is aware of the situation, and he needs to be aware of what could happen, should he try to stop the move. It is possible he would end up having to pay a higher CS (as you would make less) and maybe SS too.

This doesn't sound like something you would want dragged into court. It would take a long time (and I doubt they would hold the position long enough). I think it's best to try to talk about this now, at least to get everyone thinking about solutions. GL!

[HammerDad]

He would not have to pay more in CS. CS is to maintain a level of lifestyle for the children, not the ex-spouse. He may have to pay an increased amount of spousal support based on the differences in incomes and your new lower income (if you choose to stay at a lower paying job).

Can he prevent you from moving? Yes and very easily as has been stated. You will have to argue how this move will benefit the children more then staying in a location where the other parent can continue with their current parenting schedule. You will also have to provide what considerations you are willing to concede in order to allow the ex to continue parenting in some fashion. Are you willing to drive to like Belleville, or possibly all the way to Toronto to pick up (or drop off) the children for his parenting time. How much time in the summer are you allotting to him? 1/2 of it? What about christmas breaks, march break, telephone access etc. What about possible reductions in child support payments due to his increased cost of exercising his parenting time?

Or, for one way out there....(depending on the age of the children) would you be willing to become the non-custodial parent so that the child can stay in their familiar local?