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Keeping and Caring for my daughter without CAS getting involved!!

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  • Keeping and Caring for my daughter without CAS getting involved!!

    On May 27th 2009 Childrens aid society of Ottawa had put my daughter in her father's care.I have now been doing the steps that Cas suggested to me in order for me to have contact with my daughter.The cas worker had wrote me letter stating that she doesnt believe I am harm to my child so now I can have contact with her without her father being there during our visits.I was wondering once cas has written this consent saying that I am allowed to have my daughter in my care can they still get involved ,because once I get her home I dont plan on returning her to the father.She has lived with me since she was born I raised her for three years on my own and now that cas gave my daughter to her father temporarly while they assessed if I was going to put my daughter in any harm.He wants to keep her and raise her which she wants to come back home with mommy .So now they have said to me that they dont think I am any harm to my daughter and that I can see her without her father being around.My concerns are that once I get her home can CAS get involved again and say that i have to return her to her father?Or once they write the written consent they dont have a say anymore?Also neither me or the father have custody of her but when she comes back in my care I am going to apply for sole custody of her.So my question is once she is in my care can CAS say that I have to return her to her father?Also if her father makes me sign a paper saying that I am going to return her at a certain time can he use this against me or does he need to have custody of her for this to happen?Can anyone help me out?

  • #2
    The CAS has HUGE powers to remove your child from your care(as you know) and keep the child away from a parent who behaves erratically, dangerously, and/or without the children's best interests at heart.

    Making a decision to defy the CAS like that will definitely cause their involvement again, and most likely cause them to recommend supervised visits in a supervised access centre.

    If you actually decide not to give your daughter back, you are basically sealing your fate. THe CAS, the courts, the OCL if they get involved etc. would NOT rule in your favour for custody etc. behaving like that.

    If you would like your daughter to live with you, you need to be a stable person, showing that you can look above your own problems and always do what is best for your child.

    Yes, agreeing to return your child at a specific time in writing to your ex and then refusing to, is just proving to the powers that be that you are not the parent to grant sole custody to for sure.

    Comment


    • #3
      I agree.... if you fail to return her to her father after a scheduled visit, the CAS will return to your home and apprehend her again....which is the LAST thing you want to do.

      Just because they said you aren't a threat to the child and can have an unsupervised visit, does NOT mean that they think that the child should be returned to you on a full time basis.

      If you act in haste, anger and fear like this, you are damaging your chances at retaining custody of your daughter...and like independentgal said, you'll end up having to go to a supervised access center to see her... and I am sure that you don't want your daughter to have to go through that!

      You must follow all recommendations made my the CAS and PROVE that you are fit and able to parent, AND think first and foremost about what is best for your daughter.

      Your child loves you no matter what, and she will be waiting for you.... Right now you need to focus on repairing the issues that caused CAS to become involved..and not just a quick fix....you need a permanent, stable solution.

      I know that thinking that her father will take her away is terrifying... but truth be told, being a single mother can be VERY difficult, and exhausting!

      If you two had shared custody, your daughter would benefit from a healthy relationship with her father, and YOU will benefit from getting a little Mommy alone time... which can be wonderful!!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by info1 View Post
        On May 27th 2009 Childrens aid society of Ottawa had put my daughter in her father's care.I have now been doing the steps that Cas suggested to me in order for me to have contact with my daughter.The cas worker had wrote me letter stating that she doesnt believe I am harm to my child so now I can have contact with her without her father being there during our visits.I was wondering once cas has written this consent saying that I am allowed to have my daughter in my care can they still get involved ,because once I get her home I dont plan on returning her to the father.She has lived with me since she was born I raised her for three years on my own and now that cas gave my daughter to her father temporarly while they assessed if I was going to put my daughter in any harm.He wants to keep her and raise her which she wants to come back home with mommy .So now they have said to me that they dont think I am any harm to my daughter and that I can see her without her father being around.My concerns are that once I get her home can CAS get involved again and say that i have to return her to her father?Or once they write the written consent they dont have a say anymore?Also neither me or the father have custody of her but when she comes back in my care I am going to apply for sole custody of her.So my question is once she is in my care can CAS say that I have to return her to her father?Also if her father makes me sign a paper saying that I am going to return her at a certain time can he use this against me or does he need to have custody of her for this to happen?Can anyone help me out?

        CAS will always have a say! One person can make a call and boom they are back into your life...Currently your daughters father has defacto custody so if he gives you the child for a visit and asks that you return the child - I think you should do just that. Otherwise he could easily call the CAS and they can remove the child - certainly wouldn't look good on your part.

        Comment


        • #5
          I thought the CAS was getting abolished....go to
          Canada Court Watch Program - Main site index look at the vids

          Comment


          • #6
            Some one who hates "the system" and makes up a phoney "National Association" to "watch the courts" and sets up a web page for donations, and puts up interviews of "real people" (what the hell am I? Chopped liver?) complaining about the Children's Aid does not = Children's Aid getting abolished.

            Comment


            • #7
              the video was of a Member of parliment, Randy Hillier saying yes the CAS are unaccountable and somthing has to be done....doesn't look phoney to me.

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              • #8
                Are you with the CAS????

                Comment


                • #9
                  just because one MP says something does not mean it will happen.

                  The CAS does wonderful things for many children in need. They might not always do what's right, but for some they are miracle workers.

                  And no, I do not work for them.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    In the case of "Baby P"...(please see link)... Death of Baby P - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
                    child protective services FAILED miserably....

                    However, child abuse and neglect is very real, and these poor children are the worlds MOST helpless victims.

                    CAS is not always correct in their methods nor do they always make the right decisions... but if it weren't for them, who would protect the millions of children like Baby P, who suffer unthinkable cruelty behind closed doors?

                    A child should never be beaten, raped, starved and tortured...but it happens.... EVERY DAY!

                    CAS is a very important organization, and God forbid anything to happen that would cause them to be "abolished".

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Some further details would be helpful:

                      -how long has your daughter been living with Dad now?
                      -what was the reason she was taken from you?
                      -what have you done to address that problem

                      The CAS is there to protect children at risk. They are not there to enforce access, so if your daughter was not judged to be at risk, they would not aprehend your daughter if you refused to return her to her Dad. That would be dealt with in the courtroom.

                      They will come to your house if anyone (rightly or wrongly) makes a referral to them, which could include a spiteful person - Dad, neighbour, whoever. So you very well may have to deal with them again, even if the allegations prove to be unfounded. The CAS has a duty to act on these referrals.

                      As stated above, it would be very foolish to attempt to deny access to Dad once your daughter was with you. That would be indicative of someone who is not child centred. I'm sure your daughter would love to be with you. But she also needs her father. It's been said thousands of times - children need to have a healthy relationship with both parents.

                      You may not be bargaining from a position of strength due to your past difficulties. Be very wary of overstepping your bounds. It could come back to haunt you.

                      The best thing you can do is to open a dialogue with Dad the goal of which is to create a healthy environment for your daughter, including lots of time with both of you. You need to be, and to appear to be, reasonable and child centred at all times, even if Dad resists.

                      Comment

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