Long term life Insurance Plans

[financial woos]

Hi, thank you all for your care and great advice but wondering?
Paid life insurance plans out of matrimonial accounts for over 35 years. Can this be ordered to remain being paid and be left in spouse or children as the beneficiary. Not trying to be an ass or anything. Just figure since I and our kids were disposable after we built everything together all those years. I would like our children to at least see that. Lawyers will suck everything else out. I will be in debt till I die, can never recover financially and am too old to ever build up what we had. It is being destroyed through the Xs ignorance and the legal process in less than 3 years and were still at square one no end in site.

[DowntroddenDad]

First off, let me say, I can see you are hurting and emotional, and thats natural and to be expected. Its fine to vent to us, but for the sake of your kids, don't draw them into this and try and prove that you and they are "disposable". It is in the best interests of the children to have a relationship with their father. Let them determine what that relationship is. Don't muddy the waters with your own battles with him.

As to insurance, it is quite common to have something in the agreement about insurance. If you are going to receiving spousal support and the kids getting CS, then you can get a number for how much life insurance he should have with you and the kids as beneficiaries. My ex even included a demand for proof I was paying the premiums. I don't know if you have an accountant, but mine verified the numbers, but there are too many variables for a quick calc. It depends on how long you will get support for and how much.

[financial woos]

Wow are you sad! Where I come from you take everyone with good intentions not anything like you of course, a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for your own financial gain. I bet you would look at every receipt and expect the children to never grow and wear the same thing for 18 years. LOL
The only destruction was his own doing as he put in his court document "I want a divorce because those kids are worthless and she is useless" It was read out in court along with many other stupid and the Judge thought nothing of it. There is no CS or Spousal to date.
The question was pretty simple as I have very little time left to earn in the same manner I had. I would at least hope our children who also worked very hard in our business when they were young teens, would benefit from something of what I spent 35 years building too. I was looking for a Judicial reference.

[SadAndTired]

Wow are you sad! Where I come from you take everyone with good intentions not anything like you of course, a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for your own financial gain. I bet you would look at every receipt and expect the children to never grow and wear the same thing for 18 years. LOL

Reallly???

Perhaps you should go back and read his response in a non emotional way.

DowntroddenDad was trying to help you and you responded by attacking him. What he said was valid but maybe he hit a sensitive issue for you? What you said to him was not nice.

[mcdreamy]

I was looking for a Judicial reference.

Then get your azz to Canlii and do your own research.

Since you are separated, have you applied for your own life insurance coverage with children as beneficiaries, and which policy would pay your required cs if you die first, while they are under the definition?

It was one of the first things I did, at separation. And I provide proof of such coverage, annually, to my ex.

And for others -- if you have done so, you need to add a clause to your will specifying that policy does cover your cs obligations, and is not over and above.

[financial woos]

Really did you read the first paragraph................... to assume any parent uses their children right out of the gate, pathetic.
Ps, get it through your heads no children ever come out unscathed in Divorce no matter how you hide it, cover it, or serve it. It's the most selfish and irresponsible act any parent carries out..................

[financial woos]

So far I have not found any case law where it does not involve support as a link. I have been reviewing 100s of cases through several Law libraries in addition to federal case rulings. Tried, but can't get insurance due to terminal illness.
Thanks

[standing on the sidelines]

Really did you read the first paragraph................... to assume any parent uses their children right out of the gate, pathetic.
Ps, get it through your heads no children ever come out unscathed in Divorce no matter how you hide it, cover it, or serve it. It's the most selfish and irresponsible act any parent carries out..................

Hmm I would say that staying in a marriage where there is tension, unhappiness and fighting is the worse thing a parent can to do their children.

We get it, he left you and you are pissed off at it. Now you want to make him pay.

[DowntroddenDad]

Wow are you sad! Where I come from you take everyone with good intentions not anything like you of course, a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for your own financial gain. I bet you would look at every receipt and expect the children to never grow and wear the same thing for 18 years. LOL
The only destruction was his own doing as he put in his court document "I want a divorce because those kids are worthless and she is useless" It was read out in court along with many other stupid and the Judge thought nothing of it. There is no CS or Spousal to date.
The question was pretty simple as I have very little time left to earn in the same manner I had. I would at least hope our children who also worked very hard in our business when they were young teens, would benefit from something of what I spent 35 years building too. I was looking for a Judicial reference.

I'm not sure where you get the idea that I am a begrudging type who thinks to use the children for my own financial gain. Really, that is totally off the wall, and very far from reality.

I am simply of the opinion, as are many here, that involving the kids in your battles is counter to THEIR best interests. I simply offered you a caution, meant to be helpful to you and your children.

You can and should seek CS. That is the right of the children. Spousal support, I don't know enough of your situation.

I don't have a judicial reference, but you can google as well as I can. I did offer that my lawyer said that it was common practise. My lawyer could be wrong, but I doubt it. As I suggested, you might want to consult a lawyer or accoutnant to figure out what the appropriate amount of coverage is. You may also want to consider a clause, as my ex did, which says that if life insurance through your ex's employer is no longer available to them, then they are responsible to get equivalent coverage elsewhere within 90 days.

I am trying to help you. Whether or not you accept that is up to you.

[DowntroddenDad]

Really did you read the first paragraph................... to assume any parent uses their children right out of the gate, pathetic.
Ps, get it through your heads no children ever come out unscathed in Divorce no matter how you hide it, cover it, or serve it. It's the most selfish and irresponsible act any parent carries out..................

I don't think anyone here thinks that divorce is good for children, though there are cases, such as abuse where it is the best choice out of a bad lot. And never did I suggest you were using your kids, just that you were involving your kids in your battles unnecessarily.

The children do not need to know every sordid detail, every battle, every unkind word that passes between parents. What point does that serve? Let the kids figure out their own relationships.

[DunnMom]

Hi, thank you all for your care and great advice but wondering?
Paid life insurance plans out of matrimonial accounts for over 35 years. Can this be ordered to remain being paid and be left in spouse or children as the beneficiary. Not trying to be an ass or anything. Just figure since I and our kids were disposable after we built everything together all those years. I would like our children to at least see that. Lawyers will suck everything else out. I will be in debt till I die, can never recover financially and am too old to ever build up what we had. It is being destroyed through the Xs ignorance and the legal process in less than 3 years and were still at square one no end in site.

Can you elaborate on how old the children are? Are they minors?

Also, these insurance plans you mention being paid while married ... where they for you and your spouse or just one of you?

[Pursuinghappiness]

Ps, get it through your heads no children ever come out unscathed in Divorce no matter how you hide it, cover it, or serve it. It's the most selfish and irresponsible act any parent carries out..................

Incorrect.

Children staying with two dysfunctional parents in a bad marriage is highly detrimental to their emotional well-being. And the success factors for how well children come through a divorce is highly dependent on how well their parents deal with the transition.

I, like many others here, chose my divorce because my marriage was unhealthy for me AND my children. I definitely considered their well-being when I made the decision. The act was neither selfish nor irresponsible, quite the opposite. And the outcome has been a positive for my children and for myself.

That being said, its pretty clear that your children's progress will be hampered by your obvious bitterness and anger towards your ex and vice versa. You're so angry that you almost bit the head off a poster who was clearly trying to help you. If you're walking through your daily life in this manner, its no wonder that your health is suffering.

[DunnMom]

Incorrect.

Children staying with two dysfunctional parents in a bad marriage is highly detrimental to their emotional well-being. And the success factors for how well children come through a divorce is highly dependent on how well their parents deal with the transition.

I, like many others here, chose my divorce because my marriage was unhealthy for me AND my children. I definitely considered their well-being when I made the decision. The act was neither selfish nor irresponsible, quite the opposite. And the outcome has been a positive for my children and for myself.

That being said, its pretty clear that your children's progress will be hampered by your obvious bitterness and anger towards your ex and vice versa. You're so angry that you almost bit the head off a poster who was clearly trying to help you. If you're walking through your daily life in this manner, its no wonder that your health is suffering.

I agree 100% with you PH ... I realize every situation is different but I know that in my case there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision for not only myself but my kids' as well.

[DowntroddenDad]

I agree 100% with you PH ... I realize every situation is different but I know that in my case there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision for not only myself but my kids' as well.

Without trying to sound like a politician, I think that divorce is always hard on kids, but it can also be the best thing to do. The pain of divorce can be short term, while the peace that can come from ending a bad situation is long term. Often divorce is facing up to the reality that there is no fixing the relationship.