Do you think that woman receive preferential treatment

[dadtotheend]

I agree. There is nothing wrong with the law its our own idiot male judges that interpret that law in favor of woman. Any success that I have had in front of a judge were females,as they would not put up with my ex's drama and antics! Nope our laws are just fine. Just need to start being applied equally as stated that both parents are.

Way to project dude.

In my case, the only mom-biased judgement was with a woman.

Your, or my, experience is not representative.

[wretchedotis]

This whole site caters to bitter, whiny, self-centred males.

There's a point to be made here. At least in my case.
But hey, thats pretty much all I got left...
the ability to bitch and whine, so forgive me if I exercise it.
LOL

[holdthemaccountable]

Here is where people, in my opinion, suffer.

They do not 1)Demand a written ruling when they go to court.
2)Appeal decisions they do not like.

My understanding is that everyone is entitled to a "written ruling" this is not an endorsement this is the Judge stating his reasons why he/she did or did not rule a certain way. A written ruling means that the reason for the Judgement has to be explained! If you go to court I believe a person should insist on their rights and as I understand it one right is to have written ruling

2)If you lose and you think the Judge made an error in law or fact then....appeal!
As far as I know the law states parents are to have maximum time with their kids. Maximum time between two parents is in my opinion about 50/50.

With the written ruling it is much easier to have a structure upon which to base your appeal.

Of course this is all just my opinion and should not be construed as legal advice

[wretchedotis]

worth a shot... I'll look into it and see if she floats.

[Mooview]

No, not all women get preferential treatment

I must be the only woman that has gotten s#$^*U((*&^d in a divorce !!! I wish I had these lawyers or advocates that these other women have had the benefit of encountering because after $15,000 dollars and three years and two lawyers I'm worse off than when I started and have had no contact with my children ages 17 and 20 for three years.....Dad's God..........I would suggest that whoever has the children and the house (no matter the circumstances that they eneded up with them) are the ones with the advantage and the courts preference !!!
Just my experience.

[Barrhaven_dad]

I believe that women receive preferential treatment... but in my answer, I made no mention at what was best for the children...

However, what is best for the mother is directly related to what is best for the children and vice versa.....in most circumstances..



The gender bias is due to the historical and statistical fact that women are most often the primary caregivers of children.

It is also due to the fact that there are more men out there who either skip town, hide, quit jobs and shirk their responsibility to their children... then there are men who take a primary role in their children's lives.

The laws reflect the truth of society.

So what you are saying representingself, is that even though my ex says she can't buy a basic necessity for my kids yet can take off the next day for a trip leaving the kids in the care of someone else, or can't afford to pay daycare costs yet can go out and hit the clubs I have to be punished because of what some deatbeat dads have done in the past?? That doesn't seem very fair to me?? I bend over backwards for my kids and they trump anything else that is goes on in my life and always will yet because of some facts from other relationships that have nothing to do with me should impact what happens to mine?? Yes I know there are deadbeat dads out there (I know a few and see how they are blind to reality), and in the past that was what you would see most of the time. Recent history challenges that fact now, more and more one may see the wife that are more prone to infidelity, to deciding it is time to relive the party scene that they feel they missed out on but yet the dad's such as myself still have to pay the price regardless of how dedicated we are to our children. To me that is a very sad and unfair reality and it is about time the court system recognized that times have changed.

[wretchedotis]

My very first court appearence as a SRL, I had a chance to speak with Duty Counsel before court.

Pretty much the first thing he said to me "You're kidding yourself if you don't think there is a strong bias towards women in Family Court".

Really brightened up my already gloomy day...

[Spoonz]

Does the system favor women - YES - it favors CP women. It favors single mothers. It favors children of divorce. It does not favor children of intact families, as a matter of fact they are down one rung on the ladder. It does not favor wives. The whole family court system is messed up, its like a bunch of bandaids holding the dam together.

When you are the woman who is in a relationship with a man who has children from another relationship, YOU ARE SCREWED.
The "system" doesn't care that your partner is now responsible for a second family. The "system" places any subsequent children in a lower standard because the payer should have taken that cost into consideration before having them.
Effectively the "second wife and children" are basically entitled to "left overs only". First wife and children come first, everyone else after. That only changes for "second wives and children" if they too divorce. If the seconds divorce then they too move up the ladder and have equal standing with the first wives.
God help you if you are the third ..... you truly are third.

Its all about money. The system doesn't care about 2nd families its too bad you should have planned better.... However if you try to get financial assistance guess what THEY do care. You have to include your spouse's income with yours to determine if you really need help. So if you can't afford to go to the courts, your second wife better pay up.

It just seems to me that second families (and by that i mean all subsequent families) get second rate treatment. The children and women of second families are the ones who suffer most, they don't have any legal avenue to pursue equality. Oh unless they divorce... but how does that support the family.

This is all my opinion of course. Maybe because its my situation. I've searched for information .... its sketchy... i haven't found any "groups fighting for rights of second families" Don't take this wrong but there is more help out there for divorced men.

[dumbfounded666]

For anyone to sit and look at all the court documents and the decisions made by all 6 justices in my case over the past 1 1/2 years and still counting in favour of my ex who had an affair, took everything, is bleeding me dry and secretly living with her still boyfriend, HELL YA!! mine is the perfect example.

[qtpys4]

Do women get preferential treatment?

I couldnt disagree more. We were married 23 years and my ex is self employed. Altho I had proof of income over $100,000, he refused financial disclosure for the 4 yrs we were in court, until he was finally found in contempt. Support for three children was based on a notional $60,000. The matrimonal home we lived in for 17 yrs (purchased for $89,900) was signed over to me with a mortgage of $140,000. and a writ of execution against it for $100,000. for his unpaid personal income tax. His business friends were all lawyers or financial people, so all legal documents were allowed to come home for my signature...foolishly, I trusted my husband and signed for a line of credit brought to me in the hospital 3 days after giving birth to our third child. Six years later, when I caught him in the hotel with his assistant, a newly wed 19 years younger, the only document he changed his mailing address, then stopped paying was the line of credit. They came after me for the unknown line of credit and gave me a bad credit rating. That prevented me from getting a mortgage on the matrimonial home which would have meant the home would be lost to the bank and Rev. Canada and he would walk away free....but my family rescued me....so he filed bankruptcy to wipe out his debt to Rev. Canada. He had been ordered to pay the line of credit as a spousal support payment...he stopped that 4 times and they came after me until he was ordered to pay in full, which he did. We opted out of FRO to supposedly 'sweeten' the deal of the home being signed over to me, so I would have to beg monthly for child support. I was laid off my well paying job just after our agreement was signed, got another and was laid off there. Nursed my mother thro a yr of cancer till she passed in my home. Twice he reduced support without taking me to court, here today, gone tomorrow. I have been living off credit cards for the past two years and decided to take him back to court last year for child support for one child based on his current income, and spousal support. I had proof again of 2008 income of $157,000..an actual T4A...he is now again in contempt of court. There have been I belive 5 or 6 postponements from his side over the past year. Today was a contempt motion, which he again did not show up for...the judge reviewed the file last night and recommended a fixed motion for Oct. 13. I have provided documents proving I have used my inheritance to put my daughter thru college, my son a vehicle & lessons, etc, the list goes on, while he vacations with the same girl. She earns $80,000. We have not seen a dentist, eye doctor, had vacation, any 'luxury' of life for 15 years. I dont think this shows preferential treatment. To me. if your self employed, your able to play the court system. He does nothing more than is necessary for his three children. The first child, they havent spoken in 15 years, the son he does absolutely nothing with altho he did give him a car for Christmas--with a forged safety certificate on it. I got a proper one and it was completely rusted underneath and not road worthy. The youngest who was 6..she has become the princess...with gifts & money to buy her..to me, it is a man's world. I just got the priviledge of raising his children. I wouldnt give that up for anything, but working a minimum wage job with no benefits, it would be nice to enjoy the necessities of life. I started this a yr ago on my own, but quickly saw I need legal help and have sold anything important to me for this lawyer, but the court system seems to be on his side.

[MommaMouse]

Yes women get preferential treatment. There are some great mens rights groups that are starting to make changes, but it's slow. There are some cases/judges who give preference to men or equality to men and a few exceptions.

[Tayken]

Women are not to blame for the statistics. Society is to blame. Men and women are equally responsible for the problems before the courts.

Men are equally to blame for the statistics on child custody and access. To argue that the vast majority of custody and access decisions are based on "abuse" in favour of women is mathmatically wrong.

I summize that the reason is a societal issue where "fathers" have been labled (even by fathers) as not being care givers to their children. Sure, there are the "ATM machine" arguments but, if you go past the bitterness of the "system" of family law there are numerous men whom after seperation just give up.

There is a notion in society that men are no capable care givers. This is inherent in our media and it has been "ok" to make fun of fathers who change diapers, who feed their children, etc. I blame the "male" side of the fence for this. They seem to sit back and take it "like a man".

Society needs to value both parent's involvement in their children's lives. Until we as a society (men and women) come to this understanding there is always going to be a divide.

Look to the history of divorce in our society. Prior to what we have now custody went to fathers. In other nations it goes to fathers automatically. I don't want to live in a society where there are expectations of either sex other than to PARENT their children.

You can't even blame the feminist movement on this. Their initial movement was for co-parenting and many of the *true* feminists still speak in these terms and language. It is a very healthy thing for our society as a whole. Sure, there are extreme sides to the feminist movement but, a large component of it was to get men involved in their children's lives and making it *harder* not easier to dump their children on the mother and disappear. They recognized the importance of both parents involvement in their children's lives.

There are many organizations which do not promote *domestic violence* equally. Now here is something that one can take fault with. Try to find a support service for male victims of domestic violence. As reported by statistics canada the incidents of male and female "domestic violence" is nearly equal today. But, the funding and attention from the "domestic violence industry" (yes it is an industry) is not in the spirit of Feminism in my view. Yes, DV happens, it is serious and people get hurt but, what about the other people who need help?

You can complain all you want about CS but, if a parent (man or woman) was equally involved in their children's lives things would change around CS. But, there are too few co-parents (or even parallel parents) on a 50-50 residence (access) schedule for the Family Law System to take note at the momment.

It is really a shame that we as a society do not see the need to have both parents equally involved. Hopefully, over time this will happen as more people move towards shared and equal parenting after seperation.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[pokeman]

i am a father of 3 children, the mother violently abused them and me

over the next 3 years i faced a system that i can only describe as out of
control , as I built up infrastructure to care for my children the mother and her advisarial lawyer tore it down

in court i was the villian , 3 years after separating the mother was still sending me pictures of tombstones while in court her lawyer was calling me the unfriendly parent.

i had been told by several women professionals associated with my case that 'children should be with their mothers' , this included a court ordered therapist whom its now known was telling my children things such as 'your a girl, moms a girl, girls live together' ...

yup she got custody and i have less access than the 'traditional' dad, i am in calgary alberta canada and I believe the 'system' here is over run with those sympethetic to the idea of 'children with mother' that they will run right over a good father.

today I see my children only what the court allows , i have all but given up and i am 50/50 leaving here ...

you can read my story and my friend John's storey at http://www.wheretheylie.com , John was handcuffed many times here in Calgary cause his children were running away from their abusive mother;

[qtpys4]

Pokeman...what a miscarriage of justice!!! The only thing that can be said about the legal system is that if it makes sense to you and I, that is not the way the legal system sees it...your poor children. As hard as your situation is now, your day will come....those children will grow up with that psycho and when they become of age, they will come back to you and alienate her for her unkind, unloving behaviour. It is tragic when a parent uses their children as a weapon against the other parent...and shame on that legal system for placing those children with a violent parent just because she is a woman...

[inseperationhell]

Woman are not necessarily the evil beings here.... there are many moms who have gone the whole 9 yards while their spouses have sat on the sidelines. I worked full time, earning 75% of the income, paid all the bills, mortgage etc, I took the kids to 90% of all extra-curricular activities, did the homework with them, did 90% of the grocery shopping, attended 100% of the parent/teacher interviews, did all the baths, bedtime routines, stayed up the night while they were sick even though I had to work the next day. He sat on the couch, played video games, slept, worked only part time, complained that I spent too much of my time working or with the kids and not even time catering to his needs.

Now I am in a fight for custody and seen as the bad guy for wanting 70% custody....I spent 10 years doing 90% of the work - all I want is to be given the opportunity to continue doing what I have always done.