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Ex spouse request to change child's name

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  • Ex spouse request to change child's name

    I am divorced and my ex spouse and I share 50/50 custody. We have been separated for 3 years. She wants to add her last name to my child's middle name. I am not comfortable yet with this as he is 7 and has always had his name the way it is. Anyone have the same and what are your thoughts?

  • #2
    How does your son feel about it? How would you feel if the child had your ex's name and not yours?

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    • #3
      nothing wrong with hyphenating the last name, its done more and more often these days.

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      • #4
        last i checked this can only be done for younger children but for older children already in school this is frowned upon I believe because they are already established with the original name

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        • #5
          She just wants her surname to be a new middle name?

          (pretend names) So you're John Jenkins and she's Jane Smith. The child is currently named Oliver Hudson Jenkins. She wants him to be Oliver Hudson Smith Jenkins?

          I don't see that as problematic. Probably the school doesn't even need to be notified. Everybody's just going to keep calling him Oliver Jenkins anyway.

          Having his full legal name on a passport or something like that to include hers may make it easier on her to travel with him though, if the familial connection is more obvious to officials.

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          • #6
            I'd expect that your kid would like that. My d9 changed to hyphenated surname at age 7, no problems. Just had to pay off mom with a whack of cash to convince her it was in childs best interest. We didn't make a big deal of it, just very matter of fact.
            It hasn't made any difference to travel - I didn't get asked questions even when our surnames were different.

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            • #7
              Mu kid has a hyphenated last name (both parents). I know lots of other kids who have one parent's surname as their middle name. No big deal.

              Maybe another way to look at the question is - why should Kid carry only his father's last name and nothing from his mother's side? It would be more equitable for both sides to be represented, right? Changing his first name might be disruptive because that's what people have called him all his life, but adding another middle name strikes me as reasonable, if it's important to Mom (and as others have noted, sometimes it's useful for Kid to have the same name as Mom and Dad).

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              • #8
                I don't know about middle names but as for last names, OP's legal right to change your child’s last name does not depend on your custody arrangement. Even if they have sole legal and physical custody, the court might not allow them to change his/her last name if the other parent (you) maintains a frequent and loving relationship with the child and if you object. OP
                s odds increase somewhat if you they can prove your child will benefit from the change.

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