Quick Breakdown -
Been separated about 2 years, married 8, one child.
From the start was paying voluntary SS to ex in the form of a payment to her, and a payment on a joint debit of ours (which was paid under the insolvency act). No written agreement in place about how much, how often, etc, but all payments are provable via void check, etc.
If the direct SS + insolvency payment are added up, they meet mid range spousal support plus a little extra. With me at line 150 income (110k), and her at $0k and $6k the following year.
Fast forward two years.
We had a CC early in year. Judge didn't really comment about support. Her lawyer had my income jacked right up in divorce mate clacs.
Debit insolvency is paid off. No agreement in place about spousal support. Still giving her money every month. She is holding out for a lot.. well I think a lot at least.
Her position hasn't changed significantly in two years. I have changed mine significantly. We had a 4 way meeting, which was just her lawyer just saying no repetitively to spousal support offer, not offering reasons, or reasonable counter proposals, sweeteners, etc. Our difference in positions has an (monthly multiplied out) value of about $80,000.
It was like trying to buy a used car that the seller is attached to - no room for negotiation.
Seeing that she isn't willing to bend on her demands, I think I have to go to some kind of motions, or SC, to get an agreement out of her, which will cost me $$$ Lawyer fees. And a lot of emotional costs too of course. Old lawyer was pushing for motions - but he also wanted as much money as a new small car costs.
Her family doesn't have deep pockets, and I believe that my voluntary spousal is funding her legal activity.....
However, what if I just stopped paying voluntary support, to force her hand to negotiations, what is the worst that could happen? Would I be on the hook for costs, since my support has always been voluntary? And would costs even be that significant?
Just as a footnote - I'm not looking to force her into taking something she doesn't want, but at the sametime, I'm hoping it will put her into a frame of mind where she has to get serious about settling, and not just hold out for what she wants.
Thoughts are appreciated.
Been separated about 2 years, married 8, one child.
From the start was paying voluntary SS to ex in the form of a payment to her, and a payment on a joint debit of ours (which was paid under the insolvency act). No written agreement in place about how much, how often, etc, but all payments are provable via void check, etc.
If the direct SS + insolvency payment are added up, they meet mid range spousal support plus a little extra. With me at line 150 income (110k), and her at $0k and $6k the following year.
Fast forward two years.
We had a CC early in year. Judge didn't really comment about support. Her lawyer had my income jacked right up in divorce mate clacs.
Debit insolvency is paid off. No agreement in place about spousal support. Still giving her money every month. She is holding out for a lot.. well I think a lot at least.
Her position hasn't changed significantly in two years. I have changed mine significantly. We had a 4 way meeting, which was just her lawyer just saying no repetitively to spousal support offer, not offering reasons, or reasonable counter proposals, sweeteners, etc. Our difference in positions has an (monthly multiplied out) value of about $80,000.
It was like trying to buy a used car that the seller is attached to - no room for negotiation.
Seeing that she isn't willing to bend on her demands, I think I have to go to some kind of motions, or SC, to get an agreement out of her, which will cost me $$$ Lawyer fees. And a lot of emotional costs too of course. Old lawyer was pushing for motions - but he also wanted as much money as a new small car costs.
Her family doesn't have deep pockets, and I believe that my voluntary spousal is funding her legal activity.....
However, what if I just stopped paying voluntary support, to force her hand to negotiations, what is the worst that could happen? Would I be on the hook for costs, since my support has always been voluntary? And would costs even be that significant?
Just as a footnote - I'm not looking to force her into taking something she doesn't want, but at the sametime, I'm hoping it will put her into a frame of mind where she has to get serious about settling, and not just hold out for what she wants.
Thoughts are appreciated.
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