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How do benefits work? married 26 years?

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  • How do benefits work? married 26 years?

    X tried threatened to cut my benefits so I did a court order to keep in place. Judge said he could keep them in play for 2 or 3 years until I could save up enough for benefits. Am I not entitled to benefits or how does this work? If we stay separated it's at no cost to him but if I have to purchase benefits it will cost over 230 a month and the plan isn't as good as it is now.

    Thx. for your help.

  • #2
    Unfortunately once the divorce is final most benefit companies will not allow a non-spouse on the benefits. The judge has given you time to make arrangements to find your own benefit company. I don't buy the whole it cost him nothing thing. Many benefit plans have a single plan and a family plan, which cost different amounts.

    I would spend the time you were given to try and find a suitable plan. There are many different options available but your ex can't be responsible for your benefits long term and it seems a judge already told you that.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
      Unfortunately once the divorce is final most benefit companies will not allow a non-spouse on the benefits. The judge has given you time to make arrangements to find your own benefit company. I don't buy the whole it cost him nothing thing. Many benefit plans have a single plan and a family plan, which cost different amounts.

      I would spend the time you were given to try and find a suitable plan. There are many different options available but your ex can't be responsible for your benefits long term and it seems a judge already told you that.
      I know that my ex doesn't pay a dime to cover me under his plan.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
        I know that my ex doesn't pay a dime to cover me under his plan.
        Hmm interesting. Difference in employers I guess. Anyone I know with benefits pays something towards their benefits and there is a difference between a company covering a single person and a couple/family. In my case, it's almost double for me to have my fiancé and his kids on my benefits. Same goes for a friend going through separation. She pays much more to have her soon to be ex husband on her benefits than what she will once they are divorced. My fiancé ex didn't want to put her kids on her benefits because they were on both their dad's and mine, she didn't want to pay the extra $100 a month to have them on there.

        I still don't believe an ex should be forced to keep an ex on their benefits, especially if the supplier doesn't allow it and a judge has already gave her 2-3 years to find her own

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        • #5
          If I get family benefits at my work, I pay about $60 a pay vs single benefits which are covered by my employer.

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          • #6
            My previous employer I did pay extra for family benefits but as I had my daughter on my plan its no more or less to have a spouse, or additional children.

            I would assume most policies are the same and that you can have only one spouse on the plan. My parents divorced a few years back and my mom was on my father's plan for a bit but he was in another relationship. Eventually he married that woman and my mom was taken off.

            I have never heard of anyone staying on for extended time following a divorce.

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            • #7
              Forget being on the ex's benefit plan indefinitely.

              SS entitlement is established first of all.

              You MUST get a dollar amount assigned to your prescriptions and other items you currently receive on your ex's benefit package.

              You then shop around for a comparable plan or not. If you have to pay a huge amount out-of-pocket then that amount, together with the amount of your new plan, is factored in to the SS (added to or taken away).

              I think it is very important to have a dollar amount which your lawyer will use in negotiating a settlement. If no settlement is reached and you go to trial then the judge would need this information to assist him in calculations for Order.

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              • #8
                Pearl, you've asked this question a number of different ways in a number of different threads. The answer hasn't changed.

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                • #9
                  He went for support and doesn't get it. Benefits will be about 230 or more a month and not as good of a plan. I know a lot of people who stay separated and give their x the benefits. My x on the otherhand will do what he can to get rid of them. Thats why I took him to court as he was threatening to cut them.

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                  • #10
                    Well in divorce everyone loses something (unless you're super wealthy).

                    I'd look at the big picture - sometimes giving up some perks is merely a step to becoming independent.


                    Again, you have to get a $$$ figure to assign to the benefits and then go from there.

                    Your ex is retired now and everything going forward will be based on his current financial situation. What will you do if he offers to extend his benefits to you with say a 1000.00/drop in SS? Is it worth it?

                    Move on and get things settled. Your legal bills will far exceed 230.00/month.

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                    • #11
                      Yes but he is under no obligation to stay separated, if he files for divorce he can cancel them. I suggest you use the 2-3 years the judge gave you to find suitable benefits and/or save for the premiums

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