The high road gets bumpy

[LovingFather32]

My lawyer hasn't responded to me this week. I sent some case law .. a few other questions. I'm in high hopes that she's been sending weekly e-mails (I would be on my own . plus a whole lot more). I feel like I can handle myself well outside of court .. I got my lawyer to handle the "in-front-of-the-judge" stuff.

I wish I could handle the stuff outside the court room and she do the stuff inside. I found out it's not like that though. She's taken the reigns.

My worst nightmare (since I know she has this OCL on other cases and that she represents many victims of DV as well) is that she's also been tainted by these damn transcripts as everyone else has and just wants to get to trial $$. (Mr. LF32 .. you'd get crucified at trial by Mr. ___). It's scary. Very scary.

But I have to put all my trust in to her. Im in too far now. She's getting case law and opinions from lawyer groups shes involved in and seems to know everybody. I pray everyday that she hasn't been transferred to the other side.

So I am asking my lawyer to ask these weekly things. I just hope she is and its being documented as per my requests. Its so damn important.

BUT .. LAO can just sit back and say "Naa .. OCL this and OCL that. We share OCL's concerns. OCL runs this show .. should e-mail her Mr LF32. Your ex and I have nothing to do with this .. all OCL.

Have to understand .. OCL has given them carte blanche now.

[backgroundnoise]

Like I said if your ex was on this board then there would be a few words said to her. I don't think anyone here thinks she is acting appropriately. That being said don't let your exs bad behaviour be an excuse for you. You are the one under a microscope in court due to allegations so if I were you I would make sure not to give the ex more ammo.

was the supervisor at these beach trips etc? During the three hour visits did the child see her grandparents etc?

I don't feel like you are going to get ripped a new one in court. Never once said that on here.

I'm a grand-parent to D3, as there has been access of approx. 20 hours total in 7 months, all of D3's extended family( including great-grand parents) and friends have made pop in visits during the limited visits. We all were a part of her daily life in the past. We've recreated an Easter, her 3rd Birthday, Daddy's Birthday, etc. in those few hours. With the newest sexual allegations I am certainly glad that each and everyone of us could appear along with the 'supervisor' to negate the possibility of said allegations.

[arabian]

My lawyer hasn't responded to me this week. I sent some case law .. a few other questions. I'm in high hopes that she's been sending weekly e-mails (I would be on my own . plus a whole lot more). I feel like I can handle myself well outside of court .. I got my lawyer to handle the "in-front-of-the-judge" stuff.

LF32 - you are in reality at the start of your legal process as you've but only been to the court house a few times.

It is imperative that you insist your lawyer cc you on every bit of correspondence she sends out on your behalf That is not an unusual request. She should also be sending you a copy of anything that comes into her office regarding your case.

Should you ever want to dump your lawyer (or if she should dump you as a client) you will have all of your current documentation. After all, you are paying for it.

I hope she is sending you a detailed monthly billing so you know exactly where she is focussing her time on your case.

[dinkyface]

OMG you should know exactly what your lawyer is sending!!!!!
!!!! Because you discuss and agree on it beforehand. Keep control of your lawyer. You cannot blame anything on them - you are responsible, not them.

[arabian]

The more and more he talks about this lawyer the more I am convinced she's an idiot... It is never too late to release a lawyer. This is your life at stake here. If she has to "hide" her correspondence from you, keep you guessing, then there is definitely something wrong. How absolutely unprofessional on her part.

It is not uncommon for lawyer's bills to be assessed for this matter.

[LovingFather32]

She's giving me legal aid rates. A huge honking deal. And having legal students help with factums, case law, etc.

So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.

[LovingFather32]

I'm a grand-parent to D3, as there has been access of approx. 20 hours total in 7 months, all of D3's extended family( including great-grand parents) and friends have made pop in visits during the limited visits. We all were a part of her daily life in the past. We've recreated an Easter, her 3rd Birthday, Daddy's Birthday, etc. in those few hours. With the newest sexual allegations I am certainly glad that each and everyone of us could appear along with the 'supervisor' to negate the possibility of said allegations.

Especially since OCL has now claimed that I gave D3 a bath every 3 hour access visit, which "concerned her". (Even though D3 simply stated that's where she takes baths).

D3 has been shut out from everybody she knew prior to the abduction. Ex claims I should be there "alone" with D3 and hates that Im not. Why? So D3 cannot see her paternal extended family or that more allegations can be made? Or is it the sheer control she assumes?

Supervisor that ex chose was there while I gave the bath and OCL still managed an allegation. It's unbelievable.

At this point, the more witnesses the better. Agreed.

[LovingFather32]

I'm probably signing up for this:

Parenting through Separation and Divorce | Family Services Ottawa

Thoughts?

[MrToronto]

Yes BGN I'm certain a lot of people are horrified on the "overblown concern" of the OCL for some like LF32 it'll be a lifelong bad memory. Nobody leaves the family law process undamaged.

For years parents went about the daily routine of bathing, teaching child how to brush there teeth, proper cleanup after having a dump, until the parents separate then it becomes unnatural.

Both parents here have no issue over this bath.

It's the OCL fixation disorder on the bath and her innuendo

Her pathetic conclusion is a "boundary issue?" purposely left open ended for a casual observer to the FILL in the BLANKs.

There has to be caution here because CAS found the OCL to be a ARSEHOLE.

I don't know how a Judge will perceive OCL's one time bath boundary issue with her attached innuendo, from reading case law we see supervised access for even "vaguely suspicious" sexual abuse.

But that was the original accusation, sexual abuse, to start with, from another parent, that a Judge had to wrestle with.
,
Judge only has innuendo to work with here and will see the OCL as the roadblock in moving forward to resolve this matter between the couple.

LF32 has to remove the roadblock (CAS report will do that anyways) but this is Family Law and going overboard on removing the roadblock is standard.

Hopefully the OCL isn't worried about putting food on her table because when she got personally involved with her buddy Goldilocks she put her job at risk.

LF32 has to discredit and complain over the OCL.

by the look of the OCL's license history ...that won't be too hard
along with her being a published DV activist.....and her area of expertise isn't children.

OCL didn't do an assessment, if anything all she did was get personally involved with Goldilocks.

Too many item's too list off on the flawed OCL interim report, it's clear she thinks she's a lawyer, but in reality she's emotionally damaged destructive fool.

How much more will a Judge need to remove this roadblock?

I'm sure LF32 will find more item's to get rid of the OCL along the way

[MrToronto]

Signing up for anything is always a good thing LF32.

It's just another TOOL

Judge doesn't know you, so anything that can show what type of person you are is GOOD

It'll also provoke the OCL .....into being what she is "difficult"...she'll reject any shrinks stuff you do.....so that's good for you also to show a Judge she's nuts.

might get a certificate to add to your RESUME!.

[LovingFather32]

I feel like that course is offered at a perfect time.

Imagine ex was instructed to take it too.. "akward".

So we can pretty much assume that access will still be supervised with this distraught OCL "concerns". Thats what I'm getting from all this. Still the erring on caution BS.

[MrToronto]

Drive for the best result but expect the worst.

I'm not a big fan of your lawyer, but she's better than nothing.

You got to wait I guess for the Final Report so it's hoped you have written up about 50 draft compliant letters by now

It's hoped you've gone over OCL job description and compared it with your interim report.

also

Things she failed to look at (counsellor)

Things she knew (ex in Quebec) but glossed over.

The results of your Motion depend on dis crediting the OCL (in a nice way)

OCL has already damaged OP position.....by writing you both ...argued, drink, doped.......isn't that OP entire case against you?

I wrote before...all the OCL had to do was "caution you" that maybe giving your own darn kid a bath wasn't a good idea at this present time and coach you on supervisor expectations.....but that's my opinion...I'm a fixer not a destroyer.

OCL is all or nothing, just like the EX, just like the LAO scumbag lawyer.

A Judge can say thanks for the OCL report but not interested in it .. then return back to following the ACCESS endorsements.

There's a ton of item's you can use (hopefully without prejudiced the report) against the OP....and vica versa

it's the innuendo part (half the report)...that you want dismissed as nonsense.

OCL won't be at the Motion.....it's clearly written (somewhere) both parties have no issue over bath....and parties are there in front of Judge to confirm this....unless OP gets stupid.

So Judge may not linger too long over "bath boundaries" and move onto resolving the issue of .....denied access.

[stripes]

She's giving me legal aid rates. A huge honking deal. And having legal students help with factums, case law, etc.

So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.

No matter what kind of deal she's giving you, she should still be cc'ing you on every single bit of correspondence in the case, unless you ask her not to. Adding your name to the cc line doesn't add to her billable hours, and ensures that you're being kept in the loop. You need to know exactly what she's doing and saying in order to be fully informed. It is standard practice.

[arabian]

She's giving me legal aid rates. A huge honking deal. And having legal students help with factums, case law, etc.

So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.

simply ask her to hit the "cc" or "bcc" button on her email when sending - one click shouldn't amount to an additional charge to you.

[standing on the sidelines]

She's giving me legal aid rates. A huge honking deal. And having legal students help with factums, case law, etc.

So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.

off all the things you have said on here etc this is the one thing that really worries me. You don't hope your lawyer is doing something, you tell her to do it. Are you scared that if you start demanding (normal, routine) stuff that she will drop you and you wont get the deal on the rates? Remember the old saying, you get what you pay for.

If your lawyer screws this up for you, don't be blaming her. You need to control your lawyer.