I stated throughout the exchange that I was seeking ways to better handle a situation.
I could only wish! As it turns out since this past weekend, I receive about 20 forms of communications per day from X.
I am not a bad parent at all but will point out that while X was busy contacting me this weekend, the kids were locked in a car waiting for a celebratory dinner.
Can I point out that the time of pick-up was really non-essential in the exchange above?
The children were secondary to X's need to cause conflict that I am learning to disengage from.
Yes, by my perspective, boundaries need to be set with X.
Actually, the first boundaries that need to be set is with your own behavior. You will never be able to control your ex....You can, however, change what you're doing. When you do that, eventually what often happens is that he'll stop bothering trying to get a rise out of you. So stop telling him what to do...it clearly irritates him and causes him to immediately react. Instead, change you....change what you're doing.
In this case, rather than tell him 11 times to get a 3rd party...get one yourself.
It takes time to get into healthy habits after separation but its pretty clear that you are both over-communicating. I think you also both believe you're doing what's in the best needs of the children but in reality it sounds like you're trying to have a competition in being self-righteous.
To me, the first step for you is working on deciphering what's relevant and what's not relevant to reply to. When he sends you a note, ask yourself if its something actionable that requires immediate response. If not, don't text back. It takes practice....ask posters who've been through this like FB...he can give you some tips. But its important for you to recognize that you need to take responsibility for your contributions in the conflict and fix you. What your ex does is out of your control.
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