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  • Money/Motion Question

    So, in calculating the amount ex actually sent in 2016 vs what he was supposed to pay for child support, there is an almost $3,000 arrears from when we switched over to the new amount. Ex says he paid it but refuses to provide proof. I have provided every transfer for 2016 and know the amount he paid is not what our agreement says it should be.

    Is it a motion that is filed if he refuses to pay?

    Now some will say is it worth the $3,000? but I have already taken lower amounts of SS and agreed to a lower income to be used to calculate CS to try to stay out of court in the past. Ex, regardless of his high income, will nickel and dime everything. He is technically in arrears for CS and will likely fuss again this year about providing his proper taxes to adjust CS payment. Understandably, he doesn't want me to have knowledge of his practice.

    Which brings me to the next thing. Youngest daughter is a competitive dancer. She may well end up dancing as a career. Her dance costs including costumes, travelling fees, classes, footwear, etc. cost well over $6,000 (even with her $700 scholarship for this year). Ex has it written into our agreement that he will not pay for costumes (or school uniforms) which I agreed to but now also says he pays too much child support and refuses to pay for anything for dance including the classes.

    Youngest child support is $1750 monthly now. Do you think it is unreasonable that dance is extracurricular? Our current ratio would be 85%/15% as ex makes more than $400,000 now. His portion of dance would be approximately $5,300.

    What do you think? I am trying to figure out what is reasonable to ask for if we have to go to court to have his proper taxes disclosed (last year he tried to hide his whole corp from me).

    Thanks.
    Last edited by SadAndTired; 06-28-2017, 11:06 AM.

  • #2
    Go through FRO. I never understand why people do not do this automatically. If you go through FRO you simply fill out some forms showing what he owes and he does the same. Let him nickle and dime with FRO and see how far that gets him.

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    • #3
      Wow $1750 is a lot of support. Do you work? Sorry but that's a lot of support. Maybe your ex is feeling you should be able to cover the dance?

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      • #4
        Beach she was married to (and put him through years of university) to a high-earning doctor. 1750 is "chump change" for someone in his income bracket. Had he been a few years longer in his career she would be looking at 10K and upwards. I hope she has a review clearly stated in the divorce document.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
          Wow $1750 is a lot of support. Do you work? Sorry but that's a lot of support. Maybe your ex is feeling you should be able to cover the dance?
          I know Beach but to be honest, I am sick of hearing about how much it is.

          When we separated, I was at a financial disadvantage. I worked while he was in school and stayed home during years of his paid residency. I had been out of the work force for four years. When trying to stay out of court, I agreed to 1/3 of what my spousal would be for a set amount of time regardless of the increase in his income. So, if he becomes disabled, he still pays. If he makes a million a year, he still just pays $3500 in spousal for five more years and then it ends. If we went by SS guidelines, he would be paying around $9,000. I thought I was being smart to stay out of court for spousal as he would have to pay so much child support.

          Last year ex argued about his net corporate income last year and I then agreed to $500 less a month ($6,000 a year) in child support to again stay out of court.

          And yes, I work. I work full time. The average Early Childhood Educator makes $20 an hour. I had graduated before we even got married. I worked while he was in university and med school. I supported our little family. I feel like I invested in a business except that business is now in his head as a specialist degree.

          So many parents feel spousal is killing them. He makes $450,000+ a year. Even with supports added, I make $85,000 total. Isn't it supposed to equal out out the households a little? Ex tried to hide his corporation from me to pay minimal child support. Spousal is fixed so it wouldn't have changed anything. He was trying to pay less for his children.

          There is more but who really cares? Ex only cares about money. People are blinded by his title and bank account while he uses charm and manipulation to get out of paying.

          You're right Beach, I should just take less than he should pay. My children don't deserve what the law says is proper child support. He should be allowed to push and push to reduce whatever he can. He needs more money in his pocket.
          Last edited by SadAndTired; 06-28-2017, 09:14 PM.

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          • #6
            S and T - I hope you never agree again to less CS. If you took him to court he would be ordered to pay. Same goes for SS. People forget that SS is fully taxable. You put him through school and are legally entitled to share in the fruits of "both" of your labor. 9k would have been a starting point for someone who is a partner in a clinic.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
              Wow $1750 is a lot of support. Do you work? Sorry but that's a lot of support. Maybe your ex is feeling you should be able to cover the dance?
              Nearly $2,000/month plus her income working on the schoolboard? WOW! It's like winning a Cash4Life scratch ticket. Lucky her.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                Nearly $2,000/month plus her income working on the schoolboard? WOW! It's like winning a Cash4Life scratch ticket. Lucky her.


                $2000 a month is nothing compared to what her ex brings home because she supported him through his schooling... if they were still together she would be benefiting from the $30k he brings home a month. Not to mention there is an end date so while her income is going to decrease in the coming years his will continue to increase


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                  $2000 a month is nothing compared to what her ex brings home because she supported him through his schooling... if they were still together she would be benefiting from the $30k he brings home a month. Not to mention there is an end date so while her income is going to decrease in the coming years his will continue to increase


                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                  Oh yes, I'm cognizant of all that. I didn't mean anything by it .. except that I'd LOVE to have an extra almost $2,000/month. Man that would be sweet.
                  Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-29-2017, 12:38 PM.

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                  • #10
                    .... yeah don't forget all those exotic luxury trips/cruises for medical conventions.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                      Nearly $2,000/month plus her income working on the schoolboard? WOW! It's like winning a Cash4Life scratch ticket. Lucky her.
                      It had nothing to do with luck. She put a lot of hard work and sacrifice into supporting her ex through his years of medical schooling. The natural expectation was that there would be a return on that investment when he began practicing because the marriage was supposed to last.

                      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                      Oh yes, I'm cognizant of all that. I didn't mean anything by it .. except that I'd LOVE to have an extra almost $2,000/month. Man that would be sweet.
                      If you don't mean anything by something, you should choose your tone more carefully. You have a habit around here of snarking at people sometimes.

                      I'm sure we'd all love extra income without having had to do any work for it. She DID do a lot of work though, so to say it's luck like a lottery win makes it sound undeserved.

                      Back on topic, money/greed is just one of those things that scales up. The more you have, the more you want to keep it. And the more you have, the more money you can spend on lawyers to keep it. A judge has probably seen this many times before., and charm cannot counteract financial facts. Stick to your guns to get him to honour your agreement, without concealing income. You've bent enough, it's time to snap back to vertical.

                      He is arguing about an expense that is less than 1% of his income, while it's 10% of hers. And this is for something their child seems to be extremely talented at and could potentially develop into a career.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                        It had nothing to do with luck. She put a lot of hard work and sacrifice into supporting her ex through his years of medical schooling. The natural expectation was that there would be a return on that investment when he began practicing because the marriage was supposed to last.



                        If you don't mean anything by something, you should choose your tone more carefully. You have a habit around here of snarking at people sometimes.

                        I'm sure we'd all love extra income without having had to do any work for it. She DID do a lot of work though, so to say it's luck like a lottery win makes it sound undeserved..
                        Sheesh .. sensitive much? Nobody tried to shake anything up. Relax. But maybe now I'll mention that I bet he Could have become a Dr. without S&Ts help. There are student loans, etc. I doubt she supported him the entire time and that's the reason he's a Dr. Just my 2 cents. As Beach mentioned .. damn that's a lot of support.
                        Last edited by LovingFather32; 06-29-2017, 02:38 PM.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                          Sheesh .. sensitive much? Nobody tried to shake anything up. Relax. But maybe now I'll mention that I bet he Could have become a Dr. without S&Ts help. There are student loans, etc. I doubt she supported him the entire time and that's the reason he's a Dr. Just my 2 cents. As Beach mentioned .. damn that's a lot of support.
                          Total speculation. Again.
                          Medical school is a grueling process. You're rarely home. You have to jump at every opportunity to participate in medical treatment/surgeries when you can. You have laboratory work and hours and upon hours of study while you are not being another specialist's slave.

                          Who looks after the children while you are away working/studying?
                          Who looks after the home while you are at work/school?
                          Who pays your ongoing student loans, rent, utilities, food etc. while you are at school or interning?

                          Her ex isn't merely a GP (general practitioner).

                          Anyone who goes through 12 years school will tell you it sure is nice to finish without maximum debt load.

                          My boss (medical specialist) has always said that if he and his wife were ever to divorce she would get everything and she deserves it. It's almost non-contest in court.

                          S&T decided to opt for short/small compensation - entirely her decision. However, she wouldn't be the first person to change her mind, and be successful 10 years from now should she come to her senses and reopen SS entitlement.

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                          • #14
                            I remember S & T and I actually did an income analysis for her on his corporation and his income. I gave her all the information she needed and I'm sure she made the best decision for her.

                            Whatever agreement they came to, he should abide by it.

                            Comment

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