looking for some reference to good books, and personal thoughts and suggestions for protecting your relationship with your child when other parent is engaged in alienating or HAS parenting behaviors.
BY way of example, child doesn't call you dad, says you were never there and why you are buying them so many toys if you were never there for them (based on what been told by mom), we don't like you, etc, etc leading into them resorting to comments such as "I'm not going to see you" and "I'm going to tell my mommy how rude you are" when they don't listen and want to do what they want to do, i.e., wanting to go in backyard during lunch/dinner time, or wanting to watch tv or play on iPad when they should be going out to play and socialize, etc.
In short, when you child resorts to such comments, what's the best way to respond ? I have tried things such as, I know you're upset, but first we need to eat and could play after, but it just doesn't work. I used to be able to deal with it but it has become more difficult. She is generally fine after she has been with me for an overnight and is generally when she comes to see me for access after being at moms or sometimes when it is time to go back to moms.
I want to do the right thing and be firm but at the same time I don't want to be constantly spoke rude to against. What I am doing now is basically ignoring her and saying, once you speak to me respectfully, then I will respond, or do that for you.
Anyone experience this or something similar with their child ? Is it bad if you get upset and raise your voice at them to behave ? I feel bad because I know it's not their fault that they are being turned against me. Child is 9 years old.
BY way of example, child doesn't call you dad, says you were never there and why you are buying them so many toys if you were never there for them (based on what been told by mom), we don't like you, etc, etc leading into them resorting to comments such as "I'm not going to see you" and "I'm going to tell my mommy how rude you are" when they don't listen and want to do what they want to do, i.e., wanting to go in backyard during lunch/dinner time, or wanting to watch tv or play on iPad when they should be going out to play and socialize, etc.
In short, when you child resorts to such comments, what's the best way to respond ? I have tried things such as, I know you're upset, but first we need to eat and could play after, but it just doesn't work. I used to be able to deal with it but it has become more difficult. She is generally fine after she has been with me for an overnight and is generally when she comes to see me for access after being at moms or sometimes when it is time to go back to moms.
I want to do the right thing and be firm but at the same time I don't want to be constantly spoke rude to against. What I am doing now is basically ignoring her and saying, once you speak to me respectfully, then I will respond, or do that for you.
Anyone experience this or something similar with their child ? Is it bad if you get upset and raise your voice at them to behave ? I feel bad because I know it's not their fault that they are being turned against me. Child is 9 years old.
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