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  • Family court judge's caution to warring couples

    Family court judge's book a caution to warring couples | Toronto Star

    Ontario's family courts are being "crippled" by warring couples who are representing themselves in complex divorce cases – including bitter battles over child custody, a long-time judge says.

  • #2
    I disagree that we are crippling the system. The system doesn't fawking work!

    Not enough judges - appoint more.

    Bitter custody battles between feuding parents - have consequences for those parents who are not playing fairly. BIG consequences.

    Cease hiding behind "best interests of the children" which are merely catchy words strung together and used far too often. And PUT the kids first. EVERY separation/divorce should start out at 50/50 custody and access.

    Penalize asshole lawyers who promote conflict and/or lie. Don't allow them to prosper off this crap.

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks for posting that article. I agree with the statement that there are no winners in family law only losers. After spending almost 2 years of my salary and 3 years in court...I eventually gave in...just to avoid trial. The system is flawed. Justice is unattainable. There is little help for those of us who are forced to self rep after depleting all our resources. In the end, I basically bought my lawyer his new Audi and signed an unfair agreement just to be done.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Serene View Post
        I disagree that we are crippling the system. The system doesn't fawking work!

        Not enough judges - appoint more.

        Bitter custody battles between feuding parents - have consequences for those parents who are not playing fairly. BIG consequences.

        Cease hiding behind "best interests of the children" which are merely catchy words strung together and used far too often. And PUT the kids first. EVERY separation/divorce should start out at 50/50 custody and access.

        Penalize asshole lawyers who promote conflict and/or lie. Don't allow them to prosper off this crap
        .
        No kidding, mine actually made a HC situation even worse! I'm so disappointed with the entire process ... And yes 50/50 should be law (unless there are serious proven issues).

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by annapurna66 View Post
          Thanks for posting that article. I agree with the statement that there are no winners in family law only losers. After spending almost 2 years of my salary and 3 years in court...I eventually gave in...just to avoid trial. The system is flawed. Justice is unattainable. There is little help for those of us who are forced to self rep after depleting all our resources. In the end, I basically bought my lawyer his new Audi and signed an unfair agreement just to be done.
          And what did you get for all your money invested? Zippo! It drives me nuts to see how people are being taken advantage of by this 'system', hoping to get a fair deal in the process - haven't seen anything fair in criminal or family court.

          By the time you reach trial (3-5 years down the road) the initial retainer is spent and your lawyer dumps you for another chump... it's BS.

          Comment


          • #6
            I know...I fluctuate between angry disgust at the system and disheartened depression at all the money I spent for no good result. I seriously feel beat up and bruised from the whole process. Is there a support group on this site for battered self reps?!?

            Comment


            • #7
              I don't know what the exact statistics are - but my guess is that at least half of all members in ODF are self-rep'd. If it's any consolation to you, those of us with lawyers are just as jaded and disheartened as you are.

              At least your not paying to get fluk'd.

              Comment


              • #8
                Lol...thanks Janibel...I feel better...I think.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The Law's are there in the books and there's also a presumption of 50-50 for custody (although our politicians won't make it a LAW that it's 50-50 the cowards)

                  IF the actual LAW Rules are applied by Judge's then the conflict is over it's a cut and dried matter but they don't they'll tell you themselves We know the Rules and we work between them.

                  That's why there's a thousand cases on the same issue with a thousand different outcomes depending on how a certain Judge worked the Rules.

                  That Judge's Book is on the "disease" of the confused broke self rep's but he's the absolute symptom.

                  I think there should be a "GRADEING" system for lawyers and there cases starting from the Conferences up to a Trial. I don't now how many times even at Trial I heard Judges mutter for gawd sakes this is a simple matter...lmao

                  Endorsement

                  Grade A simple matter

                  Grade B medium matter

                  Grade C complex matter..... mediate to narrow issues(whatever)

                  As the Grades go forward into a Trial I think according to the Grade when it comes to awarding "COSTS" even a Lawyer that won should lose and pay the losing party! If it was Graded a simple matter and turned it into the O.J Simpson Trail.......deciding at the end who was reasonable or who provided Offers to Settle is ineffective when awarding Costs there needs to be more onus on the lawyer to SETTLE and help Judges (as there profession dictates lawyers to do...as Friends of the Court)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I did not have to deal with custody, which in itself is a blessing, but I did have to deal with an HC sicko x and although I know I overspent terribly, I still do not blame my lawyer.
                    If the people involved are reasonable there is nothing for lawyers to play with. Blame the source. I think the flaw is that the system needs to punish liars in a very harsh way. Anything that does not represent the truth, ie. DV, misrepresenting income, etc. If one is caught lying or playing games the punishment should be severe--I mean severe, fines, jail time, passports taken, big time punishment.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by momforever1956 View Post
                      I did not have to deal with custody, which in itself is a blessing, but I did have to deal with an HC sicko x and although I know I overspent terribly, I still do not blame my lawyer.
                      If the people involved are reasonable there is nothing for lawyers to play with. Blame the source. I think the flaw is that the system needs to punish liars in a very harsh way. Anything that does not represent the truth, ie. DV, misrepresenting income, etc. If one is caught lying or playing games the punishment should be severe--I mean severe, fines, jail time, passports taken, big time punishment.
                      Same situation here, no custody issues, simple SS request as rule of 65 is established, a paid-for home and pensions to be split up ... seems simple enough to me? Mr Toronto's 'triage' idea would be wonderful as it would save a lot of time and $$$ to us, though the lawyer's would not be happy.

                      Did I mention STBX received a 3 year suspended sentence as he was found guilty of DV in criminal court? Should be a slam-dunk no? I'm set for trial in October - I've sent offers to settle, suggested arbitration ... nothing works. X is bat$hit crazy, he's now participating in mandatory therapy for violent offenders. Big time punishment you say? What's that?
                      Last edited by Janibel; 05-11-2014, 06:25 PM. Reason: typo

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You want to reduce maters going to trial? End ss of any kind. There is no good reason why any grown adult shouldn't be supporting themselves.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Once.is.enough View Post
                          You want to reduce maters going to trial? End ss of any kind. There is no good reason why any grown adult shouldn't be supporting themselves.
                          Why would I do that? I have been married longer than you have been alive (probably). There's plenty good reasons for awarding SS to either spouse. Go take a look here if you're interested:
                          About spousal support

                          BTW, why are you not a registered member?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Once.is.enough View Post
                            You want to reduce maters going to trial? End ss of any kind. There is no good reason why any grown adult shouldn't be supporting themselves.
                            Because someone has proven entitlement to, and is receiving SS, does not necessarily mean they are not supporting themselves. I am one of those people.

                            I agree that stiffer penalties for perjury should be in place and enforced in family court. Mechanisms are in place for this. Judges just need to grow some and enforce IMO.

                            I too was likely married before you were born (30 yrs). Unlike you (chasing after CS) I didn't wait years for enforcement, rather started the process immediately upon separation.
                            Last edited by arabian; 05-12-2014, 08:36 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Marriage is like a business partnership - the longer two people have been in business, have invested time and effort on a common goal - the more entitlement to an equal share of said 'business' is to be divided once $hit hits the fan.
                              It's not a matter of maintaining a style of life similar to what was shared as a couple (that's impossible) it's more to do with cutting the pie in two equal parts. This is especially true of long-term marriages.

                              Comment

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