Here's my story - I'm sure you've heard many similar versions before...I'd love some insight and advice please!
After nearly 20 years of marriage, two boys aged 13 and 16, husband told me on April 1st he "wasn't happy". (this was a surprise - I had thought he was stressed with work but we were doing ok). He agreed to go to marriage counseling...by April 12th I discovered and confronted him about what looks like a year-long affair. He's a scout leader - very involved dad - and this was another scout leader that he was always always with. He denied and then told me I was to blame...blah, blah, whatever.
We continued in counseling over the past few weeks and on April 27th I asked him if he wanted to be forgiven and work on the marriage (he hasn't shown any remorse or apologized) and he promptly told me he felt the relationship has "run it's course" and he just wanted to be done. Yes - I am still in shock. Before he began the counseling he had already consulted a lawyer so I still can't understand why the farce...
He moved out on the 28th - says he's at his sister's place. And also, moved out all of his computer equipment and office equipment to continue working. Here's the issue - we work TOGETHER. We have a federally registered corporation - I do the accounts/bookkeeping, he does graphic design. He's moved into the offices of our main client.
The counselor had suggested we try to write our own requests to start a separate agreement and see where we can agree. I wrote one (with the help of the forums here) and sent it by email. He responded on friday with his changes. Our kids each have one more year in their schools - my suggestion was they live here with me for that year and then we can negotiate the sale of the house. He wants the house sold immediately. I suggested we continue our business until we could come to an agreement regarding hiring someone in my place or finding a way to work together. He wants the business dissolved - thereby reducing my income to $0 - while he goes to work for OUR client - doubling his income. This will not only not allow me to afford to stay in this home - but I will likely be moving myself and the boys to a more affordable city - taking them out of their schools, community, all scouting activities, friends
I suggested the visitation schedule (one night per week and every other weekend) and he reduced it to just the weekend plus his scout meetings with the boys (that will be canceled if I have to move anyways).
I'm freaking out! Can someone actually try to do this - with a deadline of June 30th!! I have called a lawyer and will be meeting with her this week but I feel so behind in his game.
After nearly 20 years of marriage, two boys aged 13 and 16, husband told me on April 1st he "wasn't happy". (this was a surprise - I had thought he was stressed with work but we were doing ok). He agreed to go to marriage counseling...by April 12th I discovered and confronted him about what looks like a year-long affair. He's a scout leader - very involved dad - and this was another scout leader that he was always always with. He denied and then told me I was to blame...blah, blah, whatever.
We continued in counseling over the past few weeks and on April 27th I asked him if he wanted to be forgiven and work on the marriage (he hasn't shown any remorse or apologized) and he promptly told me he felt the relationship has "run it's course" and he just wanted to be done. Yes - I am still in shock. Before he began the counseling he had already consulted a lawyer so I still can't understand why the farce...
He moved out on the 28th - says he's at his sister's place. And also, moved out all of his computer equipment and office equipment to continue working. Here's the issue - we work TOGETHER. We have a federally registered corporation - I do the accounts/bookkeeping, he does graphic design. He's moved into the offices of our main client.
The counselor had suggested we try to write our own requests to start a separate agreement and see where we can agree. I wrote one (with the help of the forums here) and sent it by email. He responded on friday with his changes. Our kids each have one more year in their schools - my suggestion was they live here with me for that year and then we can negotiate the sale of the house. He wants the house sold immediately. I suggested we continue our business until we could come to an agreement regarding hiring someone in my place or finding a way to work together. He wants the business dissolved - thereby reducing my income to $0 - while he goes to work for OUR client - doubling his income. This will not only not allow me to afford to stay in this home - but I will likely be moving myself and the boys to a more affordable city - taking them out of their schools, community, all scouting activities, friends
I suggested the visitation schedule (one night per week and every other weekend) and he reduced it to just the weekend plus his scout meetings with the boys (that will be canceled if I have to move anyways).
I'm freaking out! Can someone actually try to do this - with a deadline of June 30th!! I have called a lawyer and will be meeting with her this week but I feel so behind in his game.
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