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  • Child support variance

    Hello

    I am sure this has been discussed many times before. I just want to get others take on our situation.

    My husband has one child from a previous marriage and we have two of our own. He has fought for every second he has with his daughter. At the last battle two years ago he asked for more time...that would put us over the 40% threshold. The ex said he only wanted her for the offset so in order to get more time he let her keep the offset (equates to about $600 per month). We pay spousal and child supprt. He has never missed a payment or been late on a payment.

    We now buy SD clothes, coats, boots, skates etc. We pay for afterschool care for her when she is in our care( ex wife has no expenses she relies on a family member). Our expenses are now higher and my husband salary is reduced.

    So, now he is asking for a variance in child support. The ex is always saying she is poor...she earns $60000 per year receives $18,000 per year in SS and $2100.00 per month in CS. We live what appears to be a nice life but are living pay cheque to pay cheque. I work and make good money (they are threatening to come after my salary as well).

    From your experience..... do we have any chance in getting a reduction in CS or has a contract been made and we have to forgo the offset

    I find this all very stressful on our family. I want my kids to have a fair chance as well. We include SD in eveything. She is apart of our lives as well but I am finding it hard when she comes here and tell us her mom can`t afford to do things with her. EX was able to buy a new home last year which she filled with all brand new furniture and has had two new cars in the last 2 years. I know I sound bitter and I am. When will there ever be enough money for her

  • #2
    Could you clarify? So you have your step daughter for more than 40% of the time and your husband is paying the offset amount between what he would pay vs what the mom would pay? Or is he paying full support? Is this amount based on line 150 annually?

    How long was the marriage? How long will he continue paying SS? She has a very good wage and unless your husband is making over 100,000 annually I can't see why SS should continue. Obviously she is able to support herself and the child on her own. Does she have other kids to support?

    Comment


    • #3
      hello

      thank you for responding. We actually have manged to get her for 44% of the time. (it has cost us tens of thousands of dollars to get this) He pays full table amount with no offset. He does make over 100,000 per year.

      They were married for 8 years. She worked up unitl the last two years of their marriage ...had a child and then stayed home until she left the marriage. We finally got an end date...16 more months...so he would have paid SS for a total of 9 years. She has no other children to support.

      She refused to give us clothes to keep at our house for her daughter (Sd was embarrassed about having to take an overnight bag to school) so now we supply clothes here as well.

      My husband has started the court action but I am not sure if this is one we will win. After agreeing to give her the offset will the court now say he is renegging even if our situation has changed

      Can she get more money from us. Will the courts consider my salary in this as well

      thanks again

      Comment


      • #4
        How has your situation changed since you agreed to your current CS levels? Is it just reduced salary? The overnight bag issue doesn't really sound significant in terms of $ (a crazy guess would be under $50/mo?).

        You can argue to adjust CS to reflect his current salary, if it is not already adjusted yearly. But it would not give you an argument towards moving towards the offset method.

        Afterschool care is required because he is working right? Therefore that cost should be split between the hour husband and his ex, proportionally to their income.

        Comment


        • #5
          At the time I was at home on mat leave. I returned about to work after 8 months...we could not afford for me to take the entire 12 months. we hired a caregiver for our children(two home and my SD afterschool). So more than half my income is allocated towards that. My husbands income went down over $50,000 and his ex`s went up about $15,000. We pay for clothes (We had to buy a complete wardrobe for her....for each season...so recently snow pants, coats, clothes for weddings, shoes, boots etc), we also renroll her in activites...eg swimming at our expense.

          I guess we feel that he was blackmailed into giving her the offset. What is a parent to do when they want their child. If he asked for the offset she refuses to give him is daughter.....so you want her.... give me the offset.

          It all seems unfair from where I am sitting. I don`t get ( years of spousal support) for a compentent 34 year old. Transistional period I get. And I am tired of hearing well he should not have had more kids. He always wanted 3 kids....when she ran off with her lover......who ended the dream. why can`t someone go on and fulfill their dreams. We can say happiness is not about the money but who is happy writing a monthly cheque to an ex who destroyed a mariage. Who is happy watching everything go to the first child and the second and third not having the same breaks. Sorry just venting. I know there is more than money and what we give to our children with a secure happy home is far better but i work hard and have wanted more for my kids.

          I am afraid you are right.....this is something we may not win. It has been 7 years of this and I am tired. I only want my kids to have the same breaks...so that we can afford to put money away for their education like we have to do for SDs.

          Has anyone been in a similar situation and gone to court. what was the outcome

          Thanks again. i really do appreciate any feedback

          Comment


          • #6
            Your salary should be safe. There is no reason why you should be brought into it, since both the parents make good money. He is able to pay what the tables say.

            However, I see no reason why he should be paying full support. Since he is, she is obligated to supply all the clothes, as that is included in CS. Basically he has been paying twice!.

            Because he has been "voluntarily" paying the full amount she has some basis for continuing it. But again, she has a good income, so it's not like she is counting on that money to feed the child. How long has he had over 40% and still been paying full CS? The longer he has let this go on without filing for a reduction then the harder it will be to get the reduction.

            Was the + 40% agreed to in writing at some point? Did he sign anything?

            It think your best bet here is to try to mediate.

            Comment


            • #7
              We have had over 40% for the past 2.5 years. He did sign an agreement at the time. She would not give him the extra days unless he gave her the offset (I see it as blackmail). I am afraid that this will seems as though he is not bring true to his word.

              they have tried mediation in the past and have been unsuccessful. She feels a great sense of entitlement. She believes, along with her family, that she deserves a large part of the income (truthfully I think that stems from a bitterness...she has had many failed relationships and we have been married for 5 years and I think she resents this but I could be WRONG) So this course of action will not likely work for them. he has started a court proceeding and will be defending himself...we are tapped out financially and can not afford to hire a lawyer. She has the means to hire a lawyer and has done so.

              I guess I am just trying to see if there is any hope that we could win or are we just wasting our time. I don`t have much experience with family courts but is just seems like she alwasy gets what she wants...which seems to be money.

              Comment


              • #8
                Has there been a court order? Did he sign something? Do you have any evidence (emails, phone calls etc) that she is requiring full CS for him to have more than 40% time?

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                • #9
                  What exactly does the agreement say?

                  I think having a lawyer is worth the money. He has quite a bit stcked against him. Plus, if you hire one she will see that you are serious. I doubt that she wants to throw all that money away on a lawyer either. This court action is going to cost you both thousands, and I can't see anything new coming out of it.

                  you could always mediate through lawyers.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    We actually do have emails. Her first comments were that he only wanted his daughter so that he could get the offset. Her lawyer actually put it in writing that she would give him the additional time if he gave up the offset. This is what he agreed to do and signed.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      She cannot do that, it is blackmail and you have the proof. Was that agreement ever filed at court? Did he have his own lawyer look at it? If not, that is an invalid agreement and he has a HUGE chance of getting a reduction.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        His lawyer looked at it at the time. I think my husband just wanted to get more time with his daughter so he signed. I think he thought since I am paying it already (we were below the 40% so no offset applied) I will give her she wants.

                        Once you take a step back you see just how wrong this is. I don`t believe it was filed with the courts. Everything was done between the lawyers. Mediation only works for them when he gives her what she wants. She has never given an inch without getting a foot back

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I think you need to have a different lawyer have a look at that agreement to see if it is really valid. Does it actually say anything in it about continuing to pay full support even if he has her more than 40%?

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                          • #14
                            I am not sure of the wording but that is a good point. I will read the document again. I know it is subjective but typically how would a judge view this

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                            • #15
                              Blackmail. If the wording is there. You really need to have that reviewed. No father should be denied extra time with their child, and no mother should be able to required him to pay for that priveledge.!

                              Comment

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