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  • #61
    I don't know much but I know you have no cause to be contemlating anything short of 50/50. That's your red line. Rather than feeling its a consession necessary to resolve this remember the law in the CLRA states its your child's right to have her dad 50% of the time. Lots of Dad's settle for many other reasons - cost of the fight, they have some legitimate weakness (drugs, criminal records) or maybe they don't consider themselves worthy. You don't fit any of these categories. In fact you have been set to the extreme test for credibility and won. You're in the full drivers seat for 50/50. I'd forget any mention of sole and just focus with total commitment to 50/50. Don't waiver.

    Comment


    • #62
      I think headwaters had a good OCL report and now he thinks he's a divorce pro and getting joint

      Anyways...your matter LF32 focus on that...every case is different, in many ways what happened to you....can result in Sole Custody to you.

      It's documented you were forced through a sh!t storm and that storm is still on the OP table to be revisited.

      There is too many reasons GOLDILOCKs can't have sole custody or primary caregiver.

      In some cases a parent can get away with allegations or child abduction.

      I don't see it here because it's ALL ON THE RECORD....and it takes Motions between conferences to get the OP to move on anything.

      Your EX is intent on Sole Custody and leaving the jurisdiction, with allegations and with LAO scumbag lawyers help.

      Until a Judge extinguishes both of them.

      Your road....handled right....makes sole custody easier.

      People like headwaters.....know they can't move beyond basic joint, it's too expensive, stressful and probably meaningless in the long run.

      Your different...your ex wants to make you "invisible" ..your term not mine.

      Comment


      • #63
        IMO LF32's ex is mentally unstable.

        His ex has proven, by her actions over the past 8 months, refusal to allow LF32 to exercise full access to his daughter. LF32 only recently has seen his daughter because he fought hard, through the court process, to do this. LF32 has maintained throughout this time that he has no intention of excluding the mother from his daughter's life. In fact he would like 50/50 shared parenting. In order for this to happen with certainty he knows he has to go for sole custody. The mother cannot be trusted to do what is best for the child. The mother clearly puts her wants/needs before that of her daughter.

        If the mother was to be successful for sole custody I think she would move out of the Province and LF32 would be lucky to see his daughter a few times a year IMO unless the mother is looking for a babysitter for when she vacations.

        LF32's ex is vicious. His job was threatened. His child was abducted from the family home by the mother and he was then subsequently denied access for a long period of time. He faced false, malicious accusations of child abuse. His ex plotted and schemed for 6 months prior to leaving with the child. The morning before she left with the child she gave a BJ and sent him on his way to work. When she left the home she made sure to stop at the police station to let them know she had taken the child, likely to stop any Amber Alert once LF32 discovered they were missing. And so on.... These are the actions of a very disturbed, calculating individual.

        I hope LF32 is successful in obtaining sole custody so he can more closely gauge the mother's mental state and protect his child. Hopefully the outcome of the trial will see the mother get some obviously-needed mental health treatment.

        Comment


        • #64
          Why are you such an ass Mr. T?

          You carry around so much anger it just oozes out of every message. I'm personally tired of the same old tags "Goldilocks" and "Scumbag". They confirms your childish and immature approach to a very serious matter.

          The end goal here isn't sole custody. People like me (and if you stopped to ask LF32 you'd likely find he too) simply don't view this as a take full custody at all cost mission.

          Does LF32's ex deserve to be trusted with joint? I personally don't think she deserves it but the courts view may be very different. That is another matter and will be proven out in the decisions she makes in the next few weeks...

          If you re-read my post it was simply encouraging LF32 to never doubt his right to equal time. He seemed to me to be worried about whether full shared 50/50 would be the final order. (It puzzles me why it wasn't ordered temporarily).

          However your hot-headed antics, your aggressive approach to making the ex pay in court could potentially backfire (if anyone bothered to read your bombastic tirades). This isn't about whether we think lf32 deserves sole...this isn't about how awful we think the mother treated d3 and lf32.

          In court lf32 must continue to look as open and co-operative as possible. And if she continues crazy antics and wild allegations then going for sole makes sense. If ex after that motion begins with full commitment begins to co-operate it will be a tougher decision and a riskier one for lf32 to pursue sole.

          Anyhow...I don't think anything in my message suggests I'm a divorce pro...but everyone of your posts reeks of a total arrogant asinine fool. When did you become pro? Have you passed the bar?

          Angry at life? Direct it somewhere else.

          Comment


          • #65
            Originally posted by Headwaters1 View Post
            Why are you such an ass Mr. T?

            You carry around so much anger it just oozes out of every message. I'm personally tired of the same old tags "Goldilocks" and "Scumbag". They confirms your childish and immature approach to a very serious matter.

            The end goal here isn't sole custody. People like me (and if you stopped to ask LF32 you'd likely find he too) simply don't view this as a take full custody at all cost mission.

            Does LF32's ex deserve to be trusted with joint? I personally don't think she deserves it but the courts view may be very different. That is another matter and will be proven out in the decisions she makes in the next few weeks...

            If you re-read my post it was simply encouraging LF32 to never doubt his right to equal time. He seemed to me to be worried about whether full shared 50/50 would be the final order. (It puzzles me why it wasn't ordered temporarily).

            However your hot-headed antics, your aggressive approach to making the ex pay in court could potentially backfire (if anyone bothered to read your bombastic tirades). This isn't about whether we think lf32 deserves sole...this isn't about how awful we think the mother treated d3 and lf32.

            In court lf32 must continue to look as open and co-operative as possible. And if she continues crazy antics and wild allegations then going for sole makes sense. If ex after that motion begins with full commitment begins to co-operate it will be a tougher decision and a riskier one for lf32 to pursue sole.

            Anyhow...I don't think anything in my message suggests I'm a divorce pro...but everyone of your posts reeks of a total arrogant asinine fool. When did you become pro? Have you passed the bar?

            Angry at life? Direct it somewhere else.
            Headwaters,

            Deep breath buddy. Mr. T means you no harm. We've been on the same side for hundreds of pages of threads. Sometimes teammates get caught with their heads down in the trolley tracks and there's a collision. Get back up an shake it off. We've been on the same team for a long time. I think Mr. T just questions this thought "Forget about any mention of sole". Sole is what's on my application and I am very worried about e's decision-making skills at this juncture. Im feeling through the process at this point though. He did say that ever case is different and unique ... Im sure you'd agree with that also.

            Everybody here has an opinion. Everybody here has a story. Everybody here holds a bit of anger, resentment or frustration (whether they like to admit it or not). Mr. T. has obviously been through the ringer. He's here to help first and foremost though. He's analogous to a mad scientist. Yes he's a bit rough around the edges, but if you can filter through that its goldmine after goldmine of useful, usable info.

            I've been told not to let anybody sugar coat anything since I've been here. Mr. T sugar coats nothing. He smells that this whole situation is "coated" in something that starts with "s" .. and it certainly isn't sugar.

            I'm pissed that she could get away with what she's done without jail time to be honest. I think Mr. T has been through some similar stuff and some memories are brought back. I also think he's cognizant that his outlandish posts possibly served as catalysts for a smile every now and then, when it seemed like I forgot what smiles were. In the end, he knew his particular form of communication in my threads was probably cathartic for me to a certain extent .. and he is right.

            I don't think he meant to put you down to the degree that you interpreted it. He knows my case in and out. He knows what this woman has done to her child, me, my entire family.... to THE SYSTEM!

            He's passionate HeadWaters. We're all smart enough to take the good and the bad .. to filter what we need to filter. But this guy helped me make my case. And it was damn good advice. Even my lawyer was impressed by the advice given.

            There has been many followers of this thread who at one point said "Hmm .. Im starting to wonder about LF32's story .. doesn't make sense. " Mr. T never has. He knew what was going on from the beginning and it pisses him off that someone can get away with that.

            All I ask is that we get along here. We're a good team. Lets shake hands and regroup. Lot's of bullS*^& ahead Im sure.
            Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-08-2014, 10:45 PM.

            Comment


            • #66
              I think sole custody is possible but not now, not yet. Goldilocks would have to break ORDERS (which she hasn't yet, right?) repeatedly, a psych assessment indicating clear parental alienation - for sole custody to be given to LF32.

              Statistically shared custody switches to sole custody to the father in some cases (read that from justice canada)....

              The important thing is to have an important significant primary relationship with your daughter and as time goes on deal with the situation.

              Comment


              • #67
                I wouldn't stay awake at night Headwaters trying to figure out what makes me tick

                I have seen lots of fair minded people going through divorce with knives in there backs and their teeth kicked in, by an ex, and all of them saying what the ex did was all a big misunderstanding. (both genders)

                Months or years later the same fair minded people are back dealing with more knives in their backs and wearing dentures.

                Trauma for these fair minded people lasts a LIFETIME, I put names too filth in the system because there real names or titles are best forgotten....scumbag is easily forgotten (but that's just me) and it feels sooo good writing it.

                Is family law a blood sport in some cases. YES.

                Unless you have DEEP POCKETS and a PIT BALL lawyer (with an active interest in your case) and prepared to pay for years......fair minded people with no money are screwed.

                How do you turn a cow chewing his cud (LF32) in the pasture into a wolf?

                Do you pat cows on the head and say, don't worry everything will be okay once you get to the slaughterhouse.

                LF32 was put on a steep learning curve by this primary big mouth. He barely knows the game and can be lulled to sleep like some people with a good OCL report. SLEEP is bad.

                Using the cow analogy....every now and then a LAO scumbag lawyer hops the farmers fence and chases the cow around the field then goes away, cow thinks ..hmmm....I hope the bad man goes away then forgets about it and a month later back comes the bad man and chases the cow around the field.

                I don't know how many times it was figured the LAO scumbag lawyer would quit or run outta money, he seems to always be hoping the fence.

                A huge mistake is to think, the scumbag lawyer has to quit after what happened at the Motion, it's the same as the CC where the scumbag lawyer got his ass kicked. (people forget this but not this cow...MOOOOOooo)

                So until the bad mad trips over the farmers fence hits his head on a rock and dies it's best the cow stays alert, focused and playing his game.

                The chuckleheads that see light at the end of their tunnel (a train actually) think it's nice to write...bottom line joint stuff...and your red line is... people that right that are actually projecting there own pipe dream onto another person.

                Getting with the "program" means supporting the cows Application for Sole Custody.....it isn't something to be chatted about as a after thought.

                Surprise! it's the only issue for Trial

                That's why it's a capitol offense (to me anyways) for anyone to say...awww gee whiz...don't mention sole.

                LF32 has maybe 15 days to pretend his Application for Sole wasn't really what he wanted he just wanted to chew his cud.

                I don't have to be "at the bar" (sounds enticing) to see there is lots of work to be done here along with strategizing, positioning and PREPERATION.

                LF32 has no brainer stuff that show he's a reasonable guy. Lots of high conflict stuff showing the ex is out to slit his throat.

                and if allowed to Goldilocks will try again (this is theory of case stuff for awarding sole to the cow the past recent history of not promoting access and child abduction) (access chart..access denial...no special days. no overtures..etc)

                I think being in a stable relationship....LF32's job with kids helps further along with his education.....volunteer work...etc).

                Sole Custody isn't set in cement (like for other people here) it's without prejudice

                Now for what the cowards whisper about, WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU LOSE AT TRIAL.....love for a child trumps courage, caution, stupidity, somber second thoughts because it's blind

                No downside "losing" in the ring at the main event, there will be careful consideration paid to Goldilocks past insidious deeds and even if she wins SOLE a Judge will ensure there will be harsh terms for her.

                The above is called the OFFSET, with regards to COSTs....A party lost SOLE but they were the most reasonable where as the winning party won with conditions applied.

                No costs when your up against a free LAO scumbag lawyer and you don't exactly win and a offset happens

                Forget that Cost part anyways LF32 don't fall asleep here....it's doubtful LAO scumbag can be that stupid to think xoxoxoxo on a letter means incestuous relationship's,

                Scumbag lawyer is a game player, never underestimate him, actually it's best to always be running scared.

                Comment


                • #68
                  LF32 is preparing a case for Sole Custody.....END STOP

                  A sole custody resume with a great parenting plan (STAGE ONE)

                  He's defending against slander as a parent (STAGE TWO)

                  He's proving GOLDILOCKS is high conflict abducts ..makes allegations, doesn't want access unless ordered too (STAGE THREE)

                  He's going after Goldilocks parenting plan..no job no fixed address..no support ..no real plans (STAGE FOUR)

                  STAGE WHATEVER access after the Motion

                  STAGE FIVE draft separation agreement, mediation requests, settlement meetings

                  STAGE SIX settlement offers

                  Most Sole Custody awards are to people sitting in the marital home... one party left that home

                  In this case a kid was taken from the house, there's a HUGE difference now.

                  The excuse was verbal abuse (unfounded) now what?

                  Do you award Sole Custody to a child of no real fixed address? To a person that is a liar?

                  This is the sad gift LF32 received ... from a ton of sh!t hitting his fan. Documented SH!T

                  People that live perpetually in the divorce rain for years....can never get an ex on the record as being a high conflict monster.

                  It's all there for LF32 from police reports to denied access too secret recordings...IT's A GOLDMINE!

                  I always like the low road.....lower the better underwater if it has to be that way.

                  Trials a brand new day.....Goldilocks is a admitted (after the fact this is important) toker, drinker (to be pointed out she with held this) (that's why I liked some thing the OCL dredged up to be fair when kneeing you in the nuts)

                  After the baby....somebody went KOO KOO BANANAS....and is popping pills for depression...mixing with dope and booze is a concern

                  IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOUR....like abducting a child and making allegations (like the judge said after the fact..case closed).....is somebody with head problems)

                  The douchebag OCL didn't delve into Goldilocks past like she did you LF32...meaning regressing you until you maybe probably could of witnessed you parents fight sort off.

                  No question on how did the birth go? How did you feel after. ever see a doctor for depression...r u on any medication now..anti depressants?....skipped right over "those primary issues"

                  Why would a touchy feely OCL not ask that? I bet the dope/drink was good enough for OCL, anymore would finish Goldilocks off as a parent.

                  Connecting a Judges dots to "irrational behaviours" will be helpful (forgone conclusion anyways by what happened) but to have a little proof would be sweet

                  Anyways you know the past history, when Goldilocks is in witness box, you can question around this or your lawyer.

                  Everything you know...write down....then form questions around to ask...if you think a family doctor knows something....get him/her or the file.

                  Do you want Goldilocks downtown Montreal smoking dope on uppers or downers while D3 is at the old goats?

                  NOPE

                  Of course people will jump all over me...boo hoo people on meds can be parents.....I realize this...but Goldilocks as LF32 knows is puffing away in Quebec...and bleaching her hair....it's that bad for her....on top of probable med use.. so take the boo hoo and....sun don't shine.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    She's quite the piece of work.

                    She's definitely going to keep up the allegations IMO.

                    LF32's comment in one post following his first weekend with his daughter kind of summed it up for me. Daughter told him that mommy told her not to let daddy comb her hair.

                    LF32's ex is coaching the daughter and seems she has no intentions, even after the dressing-down from the judge, of dropping her false allegation angle against LF32.

                    Nothing wrong with taking meds for depression but it is a known fact that medication alone is not the answer. Popping antidepressants without working with a psychologist/psychiatrist is, IMO, no different than taking pain medication for a broken tooth.

                    Yes LF32 has plenty of documentation but I think the really good stuff is going to come his way from here on in.

                    I would have a friend follow her home the next time the kid is dropped off to simply get an address. Then "bob's your uncle" - she very well is living in PQ.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                      I wouldn't stay awake at night Headwaters trying to figure out what makes me tick
                      You're so pompous - nobody needs or figure you out.

                      An arrogant blowhard and a quack. You're driven by blind hatred over the fact you lost your own case in court. You treat this like a blood sport but it's just the rantings of a sad little man. Analysis complete.

                      The advice given by Mr. T while extensive (read unbearably long) it is in a word....wrong!

                      Lf32, you haven't followed Mr Ts advice.

                      You took a very calm and measured approach, you didn't attack "Goldilocks", you presented calmly where she was wrong, you highlighted your positives (clean record/tests)...

                      You might very well get Sole - in fact I predicted it many many pages back long ago but that doesn't mean you get it by swaggering into court guns a blazing.

                      From courts view they've swatted mom on the wrist and asked her to get back in line. They now pause (I think mr. T's glorious words) and watch. Is she responding to the swat on the wrist or not?

                      If when you both return to court, Mom has been an exemplary co-parent the judge will say hmmm she seems to have learned her lesson. She has been given the opportunity to show she can change...she appears to be demonstrating that. (This is not my opinion but how a court will view it).

                      They won't give her the benefit of any doubt on much but if you come bursting through the doors on the attack to prove she's unfit it will only make you look high conflict.

                      She's laying a trap alright...it might be called "killing you with kindness".

                      And I think Arabrians right the hair combing thing shows she's still a nutter and a control freak. But the courts won't see that.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                        ....it's doubtful LAO scumbag can be that stupid to think xoxoxoxo on a letter means incestuous relationship's,
                        Geez I'm starting to wonder. It's almost as if he was on my side. Completely self-destructing. The judge's intelligence was insulted with this comment. The judge gave him a tongue lashing for saying it. Part of it was probably trying to get a reaction from me in the courtroom.

                        I am concerned about ex's mental state, her motives .. everything at this point. You're right .. why haven't allegations been dropped? Why arnt we entering in to mediation and drafting up a separation agreement? I have many e-mails and letters requesting that we get together and do this.

                        Why am I still being told not to comb D3's hair? Why is the cat in its crate going to QC the second I drop D3 off?

                        Why? because she's got no choice but to go this route and is awaiting her opportunity to pounce. Problem is she's used up all the allegations and government agencies in the book. But I know it's not over. Or else some settlement stuff from above would have been discussed.

                        She also has no intentions of working. Freeing up all of her time. She feels this is a huge part of her case. Telling the police my parenting skills were "barely adequate". I'm a pebble in the mud that she walks on. Its disturbing.
                        Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-09-2014, 07:29 AM.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Now your getting it LF32

                          Everything your doing right now is for Conferences and Motions.....affidavit's...reports... requests for mediation...asking for settlement....looking for ways to communicate meaning e-mails or OFW.

                          Right now your preparing for the last Conference......what you are looking to get out of this final Conference doesn't matter to the OP because they will just disagree.....OP primary interest is Trial.

                          This is the last chance for a Judge to get parties to avoid Trial. If the Judge wants a bagel and coffee in the morning he'll just put parties down for Trial and kick the circus out of the Courtroom.

                          1 party is absolutely POLARIZED.

                          IF and only IF your maneuvering between conferences works to makes the OP think,,,if this go to Trial we lose....then they'll negotiate in the hallway during the SC/TMC.

                          It's a game of chicken obviously. Somebody's bluffing. But it doesn't matter you prepare for negotiations along with preparing to go forward to Trial. (multi-prong)

                          Never have a stated bottom line (that's for Trial obviously) always be willing to discuss. The SC Judge will do a "so where are we at thing"

                          The Judge will give his opinion on the matter....simple issue...some party is being stupid.....this isn't really a trial able issue.

                          You want that Endorsement.....OP is being stupid.

                          You can get that easy enough because all you have to do is show...requests for settlement...mediation....geez I'll wind this up in the hallway today your Honor.

                          Right NOW you can ask for anything that's good for resolving this issue for a Judge to read....that OP will reject....you have a blank check so to speak....of course this goes separate to a settlement offer.

                          WHO does the OP want as a witness for Trial...that will help them
                          WHO does LF32 want as a witness for Trial ....to help him

                          The OCL obviously. Best to have CAS...but they were only there for OCL allegation although it will partially ruin OCL credibility.

                          IS this Trial going to be a battle of Expert Reports? Are any witnesses required? FULL DISCLOSURE

                          The above items are to think about for requesting at SC/TMC

                          SC/TMC waste of time but you got the great endorsement!

                          When all of the above fails you go to Trial....where only parts of the above matter and both parties "start over" from the Application and Reply.

                          Your first job is to build the Trial Record. (just a binder with factual stuff thrown in...it basically a Judge read.

                          from my memory

                          Application
                          Reply
                          any Orders
                          expert reports
                          endorsements (I put them in, there is a endorsement binder yellow I think judges have that the clerks make up)

                          expert report .....OP would be smart to have OCL in there of course....along with a psych report for Goldilocks.

                          Just like it would be great for your counselling Report (if you bothered)

                          You don't need that right now, this is for down the road building your Trial Record.

                          Trials based on she said/he said.

                          SHE said I'm goldilocks and mentally fit with proof.....and LF32 is unfit, mentally AWOL and a abuser.

                          He said...WHAT! I'm not crazy here's my clean bill of mental health.

                          Headwaters hates my long winded stuff so best to stop....to be cont'd
                          Last edited by MrToronto; 11-09-2014, 12:15 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Every word I say can be used against me in court. Every instance on "tone". Every syllable. Does this sound okay? I'm sure ex will simply state "have your lawyer talk to my lawyer".
                            What if my lawyer says not to send it? I want to be the first party offering this stuff. Since ex and I are communicating now is it not okay for me to send something like this?
                            __________________________________________________ ______________
                            Hi _____,

                            Despite all of my previous offers being turned down, I would like to take this opportunity to once again suggest that we engage in "mediation" and begin drafting up a "separation agreement". Now that many issues have been narrowed down, I believe it would be in D3's best interest if we become more settlement-focused.

                            I would also like to request any health records for D3 since I have not received any health/welfare information in 9 months despite many requests. Would you be willing to provide those?

                            I will see you at pick up on Wednesday at noon.

                            Hope you had a good weekend,
                            LF32
                            __________________________________________________ ________________
                            Last edited by LovingFather32; 11-09-2014, 12:53 PM.

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Double post ... apologies

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Take out the sarcastic quotations and the word "despite".

                                Simply email her and ask if she intends to mediate or do a settelement conference.

                                Comment

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