Timing of Support

[triplejjulius]

Hi
This is my very first post, so please forgive me If I am not aware of any rules for postings.
With regards to spousal support -will a judge even contemplate addressing or granting spousal support without the resolution of all other financial issues including the Matrimonial home and debt situation resulting from the marriage?
In our case- we have been separated 2 years with a child under the age of 10. Marriage was less than 5 years -my ex is sitting on the matrimonial home and unwilling to settle while I am holding all the other debt in my name -credit cards, line of credits etc.,etc.. These debt were mainly incurred during the marriage and my ex is now talking and behaving as if she knew nothing about the debt. Obviously me putting all that debt on my name alone was a mistake.
I don't believe my ex is entitled to any spousal support .
I have paid CS at full guideline amount since separation without an agreement or order in place. At this time I want to ask for CS offset. I have our child 50 percent of the time.
OCL recommended shared parenting and we decided to go along with the final report recommendations. Ex was mad as hell with the recommendations but has so far adopted them-she made too many terrible mistakes during the past 2 years which I won't get into now. (we have been involved with both OCL and CAS)
Is it a good idea to ask for CS offset based on income or wait until final agreement or court order in this regard. My concern is the If I should wait to ask then it might seem as if I am agreeing to paying the full amount while ex is working and earning an income.
Any input will be appreciated.
Thanks!

[arabian]

Yes people receive temporary spousal support all the time by way of a interim order (providing she proves her entitlement to receive it). Often this "interim" SS becomes permanent so if she does apply for it then I would recommend you object to it strenuously. However, the longer she waits to apply for it the less-likely she may receive it unless she can convince a judge of a valid reason for not seeking it before. Judge's look for evidence that she raised the matter with you before and typically if she is successful the SS is based on the time when she initially requested it.

Often times people are successful in obtaining temporary SS because equalization of marital assets is expected to take a long time. This is particularly true when the marital home/estate is substantial and recipient of SS needs money to retain a lawyer. Therefore, it might be in your best interest to get the equalization process completed asap. Her share of matrimonial debt would likely be deducted from her share of equity in matrimonial home.

Hopefully you have long since closed joint accounts/cancelled joint credit cards/removed her name from car insurance policies.

Retaining a lawyer is, of course, always a good idea.

[dinkyface]

See if you can collect your cc statements, and start categorizing. Even if there are items you can't remember eg from general stores like Sears/amazon/walmart etc it will probably give you some useful info.

[dinkyface]

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't just start paying offset - except that she won't like it and will likely start turning your kids against you in retaliation.
*** Note that with offset you will have to start paying 50% of regular expenses eg clothing/equipment that are not specific to your time with them. You should acknowledge that in your communications.

[triplejjulius]

Thanks Arabian and Dinkyface
Ex is not in a hurry to move forward with equalization because she is sitting on the major asset (matrimonial home-we are both on title). She fears losing the home and there is no way she can qualify for a credit to carry the home on her income alone. I estimate she makes $30K/year and I make ($120K-$140k/year). She started working a year after separation.
This is the main reason for sure why she hasn't asked for spousal support in my opinion. She fears everything will be opened up. Based on what I have read on this forum I can actually asked for the house to be sold.? How difficult is it to get that court order?
Matrimonial home has more than $700K equity in it, I have pension worth over $200K and maybe $80K of this accumulated during marriage. Debt in my name is about $60K. I have paid off $20K since separation. We were actually discussing paying of the debt using the home equity before the breakup.
She took out up to $40K from joint investment accounts- weeks/days before calling the police and reporting fake historical assaults which she said were committed 3-4 years earlier. Never had any issues with the law before this.
The laying of criminal charges was enough to bar me from the matrimonial home during the time before the charges were withdrawn. Crown simply said they didn't want to continue before Prelim hearing-saying they wanted a resolution. Since I said no way to a peace bond they had to withdraw.
Lawyer is not very helpful on dealing with financial issues and I now have to deal with that. My lawyer who has been very good with regards to Custody and Access issues but has shown sympathy to ex on numerous occasions. Lawyer is a female.
Has anyone gone through this type of thing whereby the lawyer shows reluctance to pursue certain issues. -by showing sympathy towards the other party.
I have been told things by her that for sure is not exactly the way they are. For Example, lawyer never told me anything about S7 extraordinary expenses. Only that I should be paying everything based on income i.e. 85% of all child expenses including extracurricular expenses plus paying full CS and I have paid those to date. Not that I feel too bad about this-just that I think she should have mentioned it to me that way. -the way it is. I learnt about this on this forum.
Anyways thanks for the advice- I will keep learning things on this forum for sure because it looks like it will take along time to resolve all these issues.

[arabian]

Shop for another lawyer. If you confidence is waning with your current lawyer it is time for a change. You need someone who can represent your interests 100%. Yes you can get an order for sale of the home. This can get a bit complicated and you need an EXPERIENCED lawyer who is prepared to go into the courtroom and not just pen letters. Review past threads on this forum on what to look for when hiring a lawyer. Lots of good advice to be had. What you need to do is get organized and up-to-speed on current laws w.r.g. equalization.

If spousal support has never been raised by your ex that is a good thing. Be extremely cautious as you move forward about "crediting" your paying for the matrimonial home in lieu of SS... you have to weigh the pros and cons of acknowledging her entitlement with offset occupational rent. Many on here will caution you about SS Orders which have no end date.

You have matrimonial assets (homes, cars, bank accounts, lines of credits, pensions) and then you have matrimonial debt (mortgage, loans, etc). You can rack up a lawyer's bill very quickly squabbling about whether or not the two of you knew about the other person's spending habits. Or... you can be smart and put together an offer. Your ex may not want to move from the home but that is the reality of divorce. The only winners are the lawyers (because people will fight over "stuff"). Add your lawyer's hourly rate with your ex's lawyer's hourly rate. Scary stuff isn't it? Combine that with your good-paying job and nice home and lawyers are smacking their lips.

Formal Offer to Settle.

By the way - ignorance of law (in this case family law) is not an excuse (she didn't know about matrimonial debt... your lawyer didn't tell you about extraordinary expenses). In the end it is up to everyone to educate themselves on these matters.

[Tayken]

1. 5 year marriage is very short.
2. Waiting 2 years to request is a very long time.

Considering 1 and 2... You really should worry less about SS than you are currently investing in it.

[number1dad]

1. 5 year marriage is very short.
2. Waiting 2 years to request is a very long time.

Considering 1 and 2... You really should worry less about SS than you are currently investing in it.

wow. did Tayken just offer his oponion without calling you stupid, jack ass, dolt and twat? well that's a start.

[Tayken]

wow. did Tayken just offer his oponion without calling you stupid, jack ass, dolt and twat? well that's a start.

With 6,212 and the highest user ranking on this site, you should do some research on this site before being an idiot like this. Notice how your rating just went red on the site?