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  • Changing Primary Residence becasue Ex wants to move away with child

    IF you have read my last thread called "Ex trying to move 72km away with son" you will see that I have been in discussion with my ex over her wanting to move away with my son and having him uprooted from the life he has known since he was born.

    In May of this year I recieved and email from my ex that she is requesting that I let her move her and my son 72km away to move in with her new boyfriend of 5 months. I wrote her back with a "non-consent" email along with an letter from my lawyer to her and to the school she wishes to enroll my son in and stated that I have joint custody and do not consent to any such move or enrollment of my son in another school.

    I have always been in my sons life and enjoy a extensive access arrangement that has been in place since are divorce was made final in 2009.
    Which is:

    Week 1- Fri 6pm till Mon 730pm (this makes it possible that i can take him to school and be involved in his schooling)
    Week 2 Sun 7pm till Mon 730pm
    2 weeks in the summer and every other march break. Also rotating Xmas new years because one year my ex works both of the holidays and i never work either of them for i have every statutory holiday off (municipality employee)

    Note that the 2 weeks holidays i had to fight her for in court this past November 2011 because this will be the first summer that i have my son for summer vacation. Even though in our order it stated "the respondent will have the child for extra time when agreed upon by both parties"
    The last three years i would have plans made with her for taking my son for a week in the summer and at the last minute she would tell me no. So in 2011 i had enough and proceeded to take her back to court for 50/50 custody and ended up settling out of court with a new agreement that has been working fine until she threw the "I'm moving" bomb at me. I didn't fight for the 50/50 just made it that she was less controlling and i had more rights with my son.

    So on Thurs i was summons to go to court because my ex is going to ask the court to allow her to move with my son 1hr 15mins away. After reading the court papers i have come to realize that my ex is an idiot. In this matter she will be representing herself in court and the reasons that she gives to move away are ridiculous. The points she makes in no way benefit my son, she even idmits that the move may negatively effect my son due to the fact that i will not seem his as much. She is asking the court to reduce my time to every other weekend, half the summer and every march break. In that the CS will remain the same but i will no longer have to pay DCC. This move will not allow me to be apart of his schooling his sports and all around his everyday life.

    Currently she has him enrolled in his current school in which she works 200 meters away from and if she does move she will continue to work at the same location but is asking the court for my son to go to a different school an hour and 15mis away.

    So after reading this malarkey, my wife and i have come to an agreement that we are going to turn it all around and ask the court for the exact same things she is asking us to do. Give her every other weekend, half the summer (2 week intervals), march break,half of Xmas holidays, her birthday, mothers day and a day during the week from after school till 7pm. it would mean that we would have primary residence of my son. His everyday life will remain status quo with the only change being the primary residence and access will change. This way she can have her cake and eat it too. My son will be happy because he will not be uprooted and she can move on with her life and be with the man of her dreams of 5 months. However long that will last......

    What are your thoughts on this tactic and outcome of this situation...

    kindly,
    Kidscomefirst

  • #2
    Your proposal sounds logical.
    I wouldn't want my child to have to travel 1.15 hrs to and from school.
    Good luck!

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      Your proposal sounds logical.
      I wouldn't want my child to have to travel 1.15 hrs to and from school.
      Good luck!
      the child will not be travelling that distance, she wants to put him in a school in the area where she is moving to.

      I agree though his idea is logical and sound.

      Comment


      • #4
        I guess I was thinking ahead to what the mother may ask for - she drive kid back and forth to current school if she isn't successful in getting leave to move and put him in different school. Some judges may not think the 1.15 commute is a big deal, however it would curtail any extracurricular activity he may want to get involved in.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
          the child will not be travelling that distance, she wants to put him in a school in the area where she is moving to.

          I agree though his idea is logical and sound.
          As I understand the situation, he has the child every Sunday night through Monday evening until 7:30, for the specific purpose of being involved with the child's life, schooling, friends, teachers, activities, etc. Mondays would involve 1.5 hours travel, for the child in the morning, and for the father to travel after school.

          If this were me I would not hesitate to fight the ex in court over such a move.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Mess View Post
            As I understand the situation, he has the child every Sunday night through Monday evening until 7:30, for the specific purpose of being involved with the child's life, schooling, friends, teachers, activities, etc. Mondays would involve 1.5 hours travel, for the child in the morning, and for the father to travel after school.

            If this were me I would not hesitate to fight the ex in court over such a move.
            currently he does but in her court papers she is asking for him to become an EOW father. If he is in a new school over an hour away his involvement will not be to the extent it is now. Not saying he wouldnt do it but what kid wants to get up an extra 1.5 hours earlier for a long drive to go to school on a monday morning??

            Best case he gets the mother to agree for him to have the child during the week so the child gets to stay in the same school and with the same friends. She is not considering the child really, just her new man.

            Comment


            • #7
              Agreed. She is either cutting his access, in conflict with the existing order, or requiring the child to travel 1.5 hrs in the morning, and the father to leave work 1.5 hrs early in the afternoon to travel to have his access. This is an unforseen material change in circumstance. It is grounds to reopen custody. The father could, if he chooses, seek full custody on the basis of maintaining the child's connection to current school, friends, activities, local family. The success would depend on how well he argues, and how many factual examples he can provide. Depending on the age of the son, the child's wishes could be taken into account.

              Comment


              • #8
                Just an FYI my son is 6 years old....

                Comment


                • #9
                  Kidscome first,
                  I would agree you, your wife, and everyone that has posted about this so far far that it is a great idea to offer your ex what you have been offered.
                  I think it is NBDad or maybe Mess that regularly suggests this as a tactic to illustrate to the ex and/or the judge the unreasonable offer that is being made to you.
                  I would, however, make all my arguments to the court just as your internet name eg kid centric.
                  It is not in Johnny's best interest to move.
                  Johnny has too many friends here and making new elsewhere will be hard on him.
                  Current school is spectacular.
                  Mommy wont be home to pick him up and will have to put Johnny in after school care.
                  Both mommy and daddy will struggle to get to school events in time etc etc etc.
                  Johnny has more family in the current area.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I would also try to contact the current school to determine if Johnny is registered there this coming term.
                    Expect a big fight though as mommy will be paying you CS if you win and all the government tax breaks will go to you.
                    In your shoes I would probably start the application or motion paperwork on Monday. The new school year is 5-6 weeks away.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Definitely get a move one with your paperwork.Your reasoning is sound and child friendly, while your ex sounds rather flaky,Im curious as to why running off to live with a guy she has known for a few months, is beneficial for your son?Especially considering her job location?Generally people move closer to work.Kids need stability and dependability ,you show the judge what you have to offer and they should be able to see it.Get cracking and good luck !

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by FaithandMorals View Post
                        I would also try to contact the current school to determine if Johnny is registered there this coming term.
                        Expect a big fight though as mommy will be paying you CS if you win and all the government tax breaks will go to you.
                        In your shoes I would probably start the application or motion paperwork on Monday. The new school year is 5-6 weeks away.
                        Ive spoken with the pricipal of the school in Brooklin my ex wants to enroll my son into along with giving her a letter from my lawyer and she is aware that we have joint custody and will not allow him to be enrolled until I give the OK or she is allowed by the courts. Currently he is enrolled in his Port Hope school that he has been going to for 2 years.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by murphyslaw View Post
                          Definitely get a move one with your paperwork.Your reasoning is sound and child friendly, while your ex sounds rather flaky,Im curious as to why running off to live with a guy she has known for a few months, is beneficial for your son?Especially considering her job location?Generally people move closer to work.Kids need stability and dependability ,you show the judge what you have to offer and they should be able to see it.Get cracking and good luck !
                          I received my court papers Thurs and have a lawyers appointment Monday. My wife and i have been discussing this all weekend and feel switching it around and asking her for all she is asking us is best to do in this situation. The thing is i feel i have a tiger for a lawyer and not someone that will sit on the fence. Where she is self representing herself...... you would think with a matter of this importants you wouldn't be ignorant to think you know everything, but I guess that's what makes her a selfish mother.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Kidscomefirst,

                            I have posted a pile of significant case-law regarding the travel of time and the court's opinion as supported by case law on the travel distance and time to-and-from school. Suffice to say, the court will take great offense to any parent who leave the habitual residence of a child.

                            Do some searches on the issue on this forum on the case-law that I have posted. The other parent in your matter has to bring significant "change of circumstance" evidence before the court.

                            Generally, in my opinion, the court will not move the habitual residence, school and other important elements of the child in question's life to support the other parent's "desire" or "wishes" to move just to be with another adult in a relationship.

                            Good Luck!
                            Tayken

                            Comment

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