Quick Question- hopefully quick answer!

[jennw]

Hi there,

Just a quick piece of info needed. Legally divorce, joint custody of one child. Can the ex-spouse leave the country for a vacation NOT with the child..but not tell the other parent?

I have no issue with her going on vacation but I have a HUGE issue with not being told she is out of the country for obvious reasons regarding care/welfare of my child while she is away. (The real deal is we live in different cities so she will have her mother move in while she is away to get our daughter to/from school etc..as opposed to having her stay with me for the week.)

If she was to leave without telling me...is there ANYTHING i can do legally?

Thanks!

[enoughalready]

I'm certain since you have joint custody you should have been offered the opportunity to care for your child while she is gone. You have access rights over her mother.

[jennw]

Thank you for the reply.

My main issue is can I do anything about her being out of the country and her not disclosing the information to me? Isn't there something legally that can be done to prevent her from with-holding information like that?

[tugofwar]

You would think she should have told you she was leaving. What if something happened while she was away?
If you were to go on vacation, would you be informing her?

[Foredeck]

You would think she should have told you she was leaving. What if something happened while she was away?
If you were to go on vacation, would you be informing her?

The common sense answer is that she inform her that she's out of the country.

However, it's her custody time. And, what if something happened while she's away? Well, what would be different, the children would be at the same location, so contacting them wouldn't be an issue.

And, I have to assume that if something happened to the children, the grand mother would contact both parents.

Some people have clauses in their agreement that specify that they're the first option for "babysitting". But, I believe if you don't, it's up to the custodial parent to decide who will watch the children. But, the cases I've seen was for one night, so not sure if it's for longer.

[tugofwar]

The common sense answer is that she inform her that she's out of the country.

However, it's her custody time. And, what if something happened while she's away? Well, what would be different, the children would be at the same location, so contacting them wouldn't be an issue.

And, I have to assume that if something happened to the children, the grand mother would contact both parents.

Some people have clauses in their agreement that specify that they're the first option for "babysitting". But, I believe if you don't, it's up to the custodial parent to decide who will watch the children. But, the cases I've seen was for one night, so not sure if it's for longer.

I understand what you are trying to say but what if the grandmother doesn't have a good relationship with the ex and doesn't contact them. I understand when it's their custody time they can do or have anyone watch them but I just think what if something bad happened while away.
She probably didn't tell you she was going away because she had made other arrangements to have the child looked after.

[Foredeck]

I understand what you are trying to say but what if the grandmother doesn't have a good relationship with the ex and doesn't contact them. I understand when it's their custody time they can do or have anyone watch them but I just think what if something bad happened while away.

Just to be on the record, I don't think what she did is right.

But, it doesn't seem like the two parents have a good relationship, so it seems like the odds of contacting the OP is low if it's the CP or the grand mother watching the children.

I believe if the grand-mother is acting as the custodial parent for the week, she has an obligation to follow the separation agreement, and the laws regarding custody.

[Mess]

What if the mother wasn't on vacation, and something happened to her? It would still be the same situation, the grandmother or someone else would have to care for the children and someone would have to inform the other parent. The fact that the mother is on an airplane when "something happens" instead of in a car or an elevator across town doesn't change anything.

[blinkandimgone]

The short answer:

Can they? YES
Should they? Absolutely not.

[representingself]

Thank you for the reply.

My main issue is can I do anything about her being out of the country and her not disclosing the information to me? Isn't there something legally that can be done to prevent her from with-holding information like that?

I don't think that there are any laws stating that your ex spouse has to inform you of their vacation plans

She is at liberty to travel wherever she wants, whenever she wants, and as long as the child is not with her, she can travel outside of the Country at her discretion.

If you want to have first right of refusal for child care/access during her vacations etc., then you can make a request, (with her or the courts, depending on you ability to negotiate with her).

She doesn't have to tell you anything about her personal/private life. Where she goes has nothing to do with you, and became none of your business when you separated..... She has no obligation to tell you anything....and the same applies to you, (your life is yours now and none of her concern).

[Banaschar]

Yes.


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