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  • #61
    You know Wilson... many, many posters have offered you advice and words of wisdom... each and every post has been responded to with negativity by you. What do you want posters here to tell you? What more could anyone on this forum offer you? You are not opened to listening to what posters are saying. Young dad offered a very insightful post and you totally brushed it off.

    You say it's not about money but your very first post in this thread stated your ex is asking for more money, almost double, just because she has the kids two more weeks a month, then went on to say you are fighting your ex on the increase because she cannot demonstrate the need for more money because she has been doing fine in the past with the cs she has received.

    All your posts are about money, they are not about your relationship with your kids. That is a sad. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. CS follows the kids. You have a very, very, very weak case for PA. Usually it takes years to prove this, your kids moved not too long ago.

    No one here can help you until you understand that there has been a material change in circumstances, your teenage children have decided to live with their mom, that is the change.

    I feel sorry for your kids...

    Sent from my SM-T560NU using Tapatalk

    Comment


    • #62
      Originally posted by stripes View Post
      Unfortunately, I do think there are good odds that letters from your friends will end up in a birdcage. These are not objective accounts. If you had nine independent psychological assessments or nine report from professionals who are not socially connected to you, it might be different. It's not that difficult to get people to write letters saying "my friend xyz is a wonderful parent and his/her ex is terrible!".

      If you want to go ahead with some kind of court action, go for it. It's not the people on this forum that you have to convince. I think what we are saying is that a) child support follows the child; and b) courts will not give you a gold star for being a good parent and put your ex in the naughty chair for being a bad one.
      Again, just more assumptions drawing conclusions where the facts of the matter are not known.

      You have no idea what is in my letters. You have no idea what is said about one parent at the expense of the other, or if that is even the tone of the letters at all. You basically know almost nothing. Following your line of reasoning, maybe everyone that sits on a jury in this country should first go through a " psychological assessments" to meet your threshold. I don't even know how to begin to understand that?

      I think I'm pretty much done here. Thank you for those folks who have been very helpful and understanding...you know who you are. The others that use this forum as a "hobby" to pass the time, thank you for trying.

      Cheers!

      Comment


      • #63
        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
        You know Wilson... many, many posters have offered you advice and words of wisdom... each and every post has been responded to with negativity by you. What do you want posters here to tell you? What more could anyone on this forum offer you? You are not opened to listening to what posters are saying. Young dad offered a very insightful post and you totally brushed it off.

        You say it's not about money but your very first post in this thread stated your ex is asking for more money, almost double, just because she has the kids two more weeks a month, then went on to say you are fighting your ex on the increase because she cannot demonstrate the need for more money because she has been doing fine in the past with the cs she has received.

        All your posts are about money, they are not about your relationship with your kids. That is a sad. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. CS follows the kids. You have a very, very, very weak case for PA. Usually it takes years to prove this, your kids moved not too long ago.

        No one here can help you until you understand that there has been a material change in circumstances, your teenage children have decided to live with their mom, that is the change.

        I feel sorry for your kids...

        Sent from my SM-T560NU using Tapatalk
        Thanks for your opinion, but maybe you should read all of the responses I made (especially to people who actually stayed on topic) instead of focusing on how I responded to you. What kind of person finishes off with "I feel sorry for your kids..." ?!?! Sorry if I wasn't interested in your agenda.

        Comment


        • #64
          LOL I see ODF as a place to go and get feedback from people. Before ODF I didn't know a thing about family law or that CanLii existed.

          As my litigation comprised primarily about Spousal Support (yes I receive indefinite), you can imagine the hard time people gave me when I first signed on. I've been called names MANY times. Mods have also threatened to ban me. I've learned to tone my posts down (most of the time). I've also learned to take constructive criticism.

          As with any forum, you will receive good advice and some useless advice. Often people are wrong..... but more often posters are correct or have a valid point worth considering.

          It's free advice.
          Last edited by arabian; 01-17-2016, 06:46 PM.

          Comment


          • #65
            Originally posted by WilsonWilsonWilson View Post
            Thanks for your opinion, but maybe you should read all of the responses I made (especially to people who actually stayed on topic) instead of focusing on how I responded to you. What kind of person finishes off with "I feel sorry for your kids..." ?!?! Sorry if I wasn't interested in your agenda.
            I have read all your responses and every one of them are negative in response, telling posters they are making assumptions and know nothing, Yada yada, but best of luck paying those court costs.

            And yes I do feel sorry for your kids, their dad cares more about money than he does about his children. .. that is my opinion on everything you have posted.

            I'm out... you will be back and eventually will see the light, just like many new posters

            Sent from my SM-T560NU using Tapatalk

            Comment


            • #66
              Originally posted by WilsonWilsonWilson View Post
              "I was alienated from my father and my partner has been alienated from his youngest."



              How do I know any of what you are saying is true?

              How do we know what youre saying is true? At this point you sound like a controlling jerk intent on making your kids do what you want. I have a feeling your issues are because they cant stand you and see living with their mother as the best solution.

              Good luck to you.

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by arabian View Post
                LOL I see ODF as a place to go and get feedback from people. Before ODF I didn't know a thing about family law or that CanLii existed.

                As my litigation comprised primarily about Spousal Support (yes I receive indefinite), you can imagine the hard time people gave me when I first signed on. I've been called names MANY times. Mods have also threatened to ban me. I've learned to tone my posts down (most of the time). I've also learned to take constructive criticism.

                As with any forum, you will receive good advice and some useless advice. Often people are wrong..... but more often posters are correct or have a valid point worth considering.

                It's free advice.
                I here you sister...or brother...I don't want to make assumptions!!

                Comment


                • #68
                  I think you are the most stubborn person I have seen on ODF, you deserve a gold star.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                    I think you are the most stubborn person I have seen on ODF, you deserve a gold star.
                    lmao ....

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by WilsonWilsonWilson View Post
                      Thanks my friend, but you speak as if you have lived in my house the past 10 years! I appreciate your anecdotal evidence of your experience, but I'm really getting discourage by having to argue with people on this thread about stuff they assume but really know nothing about.

                      1) How do you know I am trying to get my kids back to live 50/50 with both parents? Where have I ever said this?

                      2) How do you know what my ex has said in her submissions into Court that are dishonest and inflammatory? How do you know if letters of reference from people who have been witness to what has been happening do not work to combat that character assassination?

                      3) How do you know how much money I have to spend on righting many of the wrongs that have taken place here that have nothing to do with anything I have done wrong, and why do you care?

                      How do you know any of this?!?!

                      If you are just trolling around the internet looking to give your opinion on something you are vaguely familiar with, message me directly and I'd be fine to converse with you, but this is not what I came on this forum looking for.
                      WOW! Your over-reaction to my post (and others) is very telling, as are your negative and hostile responses to other posters on here.

                      Calling people trolls and liars because they say something you don't agree with or want to hear is harsh and rude.

                      I am no troll and this forum is not a hobby for me. Not that I owe you an explanation but maybe (but not likely) it will break through your defensive attitude.

                      Like you, I'm a self-represented litigant and parent who wants the best for my child.

                      I'm battle weary and still quite traumatized from spending over 2 years in the meat grinder called the family court system with a side order of criminal charges based on false allegation of historical domestic violence that never happened. I've been reported to CAS for sexually, physically and emotionally abusing my son (again, never happened).

                      Maybe you are the troll or a liar, but I choose to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are like the rest of us on here and just looking for answers and support.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Yes we do learn a lot on ODF and Wilson, it's not worth it to fight against the posters that you might think had offended you in any ways. Best advice, ignore them and just grab the information that seems to be the best for you. I'm a very passive person and if you look at my case, I was charged at my workplace for saying the wrong thing at the wrong place. I have no family and close friends around here so the only people I could talk to were my co-workers. WRONG! I'm paying a fare price for that now. To add to the difficulty of going through a litigious divorce and criminal charge, I have posters with direct attack and with assumptions. I don't deal with those... I ask my questions, seek for advice and look at the related comments. The other stuff is only to light you and there is no need to reply to them because... this is what they are looking for so don't fall in the ghetto.

                        You see, going through your thread, you might have just responded to one of my concern with my three kids. Since I lost access to my house (and kids) last April, I've been living 15 minutes away from both schools that my kids are attending. I was looking to buy something very close to the schools so that my children could walk and stop by anytime they want. But with the bs**t going on with the criminal case and the fact that I couldn't get a decent house at a reasonable price, I've decided to buy somewhere else cheaper but with all and more I was looking for. I was very happy with my choice. It's a charm and the kids really loved it when they came for a couple of visit this summer. Then, no more visits. Access denied because my STBX suddenly had a safety concern for the kids related to my criminal case. I haven't seen my kids since last July. Over 5 months. I was feeling sad and depressed. Ask my new gf if we made the right choice of living where we are. Maybe if we would have wait to buy something closer to the schools, it would have been an incentive so that the children choose the shared custody and come to live with us. Here, kids won't be able to stop for a quick visit as it is too far. And I kept asking and thinking if I made the right choice and after looking at your story... I guest I did.

                        If the kids decide to stay with their mother (or the judge decide / OCL recommendations... and so on...) I won't feel sorry for living in a house we dislike and waiting for surprise visits of the kids that would had probably never happen... Also facing financial issues because of payment of full table CS. Na.... Thank you Wilson for your thread, I have no more doubts. If the kids ever decide they want to come at my place... I'll do the driving with pleasure because this is where we found happiness and the kids enjoy the new place.

                        I do hope your kids will continue with the 50/50 regime as it should be in their best interest to maintain maximum contact with both parents. Good luck to you.
                        Last edited by mafia007; 01-18-2016, 02:59 AM. Reason: Correction at the end to add his kids.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Originally posted by YoungDad23 View Post
                          WOW! Your over-reaction to my post (and others) is very telling, as are your negative and hostile responses to other posters on here.

                          Calling people trolls and liars because they say something you don't agree with or want to hear is harsh and rude.

                          I am no troll and this forum is not a hobby for me. Not that I owe you an explanation but maybe (but not likely) it will break through your defensive attitude.

                          Like you, I'm a self-represented litigant and parent who wants the best for my child.

                          I'm battle weary and still quite traumatized from spending over 2 years in the meat grinder called the family court system with a side order of criminal charges based on false allegation of historical domestic violence that never happened. I've been reported to CAS for sexually, physically and emotionally abusing my son (again, never happened).

                          Maybe you are the troll or a liar, but I choose to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are like the rest of us on here and just looking for answers and support.
                          I'm very sorry to hear you had to go through with all that and I hope and pray it works out for you. We don't have to be friends and I don't have to agree with you for me to have empathy for your plight. All the best.

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Originally posted by mafia007 View Post
                            Yes we do learn a lot on ODF and Wilson, it's not worth it to fight against the posters that you might think had offended you in any ways. Best advice, ignore them and just grab the information that seems to be the best for you. I'm a very passive person and if you look at my case, I was charged at my workplace for saying the wrong thing at the wrong place. I have no family and close friends around here so the only people I could talk to were my co-workers. WRONG! I'm paying a fare price for that now. To add to the difficulty of going through a litigious divorce and criminal charge, I have posters with direct attack and with assumptions. I don't deal with those... I ask my questions, seek for advice and look at the related comments. The other stuff is only to light you and there is no need to reply to them because... this is what they are looking for so don't fall in the ghetto.

                            You see, going through your thread, you might have just responded to one of my concern with my three kids. Since I lost access to my house (and kids) last April, I've been living 15 minutes away from both schools that my kids are attending. I was looking to buy something very close to the schools so that my children could walk and stop by anytime they want. But with the bs**t going on with the criminal case and the fact that I couldn't get a decent house at a reasonable price, I've decided to buy somewhere else cheaper but with all and more I was looking for. I was very happy with my choice. It's a charm and the kids really loved it when they came for a couple of visit this summer. Then, no more visits. Access denied because my STBX suddenly had a safety concern for the kids related to my criminal case. I haven't seen my kids since last July. Over 5 months. I was feeling sad and depressed. Ask my new gf if we made the right choice of living where we are. Maybe if we would have wait to buy something closer to the schools, it would have been an incentive so that the children choose the shared custody and come to live with us. Here, kids won't be able to stop for a quick visit as it is too far. And I kept asking and thinking if I made the right choice and after looking at your story... I guest I did.

                            If the kids decide to stay with their mother (or the judge decide / OCL recommendations... and so on...) I won't feel sorry for living in a house we dislike and waiting for surprise visits of the kids that would had probably never happen... Also facing financial issues because of payment of full table CS. Na.... Thank you Wilson for your thread, I have no more doubts. If the kids ever decide they want to come at my place... I'll do the driving with pleasure because this is where we found happiness and the kids enjoy the new place.

                            I do hope your kids will continue with the 50/50 regime as it should be in their best interest to maintain maximum contact with both parents. Good luck to you.
                            Thank you for this my friend. You are a shining lighthouse while I navigate a rocky shore...and this place is full of rocks. I feel like I dressed up in a fox costume and decided to take a shortcut through a hen house and got nearly pecked to death!!

                            You seem to be one of the rare ones here. A lot of people have a lot of anger streaming through their veins because of what they have gone through and then take it out on others. Then they get offended when someone with the same right to be angry bites back. I wish I could be more like you and just brush it off, but it's really kinda fun sometimes to lob a few serves back and see how they handle those. Me bad!

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              Did you even read my response to your other thread?

                              http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...tml#post203326

                              Seriously, you keep on making mystical references to similar cases that have gone your way. Do you have any links? Part of the value of a forum is that our discussion will help others who may not even be posting, but just lurking. Your links will help others in your situation win their court cases.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                You only have two choices. Pay proper table child support which reflects the current living arrangements, or further distance your teenagers by fighting the child support motion. Child support is not awarded based on how you think the other parent is performing as a parent. It is based on percentage of time spent with the parents.

                                Given the children's ages, it would likely be a losing battle, both financially and emotionally to fight their current chosen residence with mom.

                                Spare yourself and the kids the battle and try to repair the relationship between you and the kids. Try a Sunday brunch or plan a nice evening with no pressure. They will soon be adults so think more of the relationship you would like to have as they mature.

                                Comment

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