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    questions for a friend.

    CS is done at the end of this school year. Child was told by other parent they had three choices, get a job, apply for post secondary education or move out. Which is all fair and the same rules apply in the other house so no escaping it.

    Child isn't sure what they want as a career. They have applied to schools over a couple of hours away with no real ideas of what she wants.

    The questions are can a child just apply to school without a path in mind?
    With no set idea is CS still payable?
    Child has never had a part time job even so maybe a little scared of finding a full time job.
    Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 03-20-2018, 07:11 PM.

  • #2
    Kid could work part time while figuring out what they want. Or they could work full time at a regular job (ie. Tim Hortons or something like that) and figure out what they want.

    Its not unreasonable to tell your kid to figure out their life. This is good parenting. Otherwise you end up with a 20 something spending ten years finding themself.

    Recommend kid see a career counselor and then sit down with kid and look at different employment options, schools, program of study and what works. Going away to school adds another 5,000 to 10,000 to the cost. They should be working to earn money for that.

    Comment


    • #3
      I had a child that was forced into post-secondary education - against his will so that the ex could continue to get child support. He didn't want the school but was 'undecided' in what to pursue. I'm going to try and fight this in the fall but don't have very high hopes of success.

      My suggestion to the child was to leave school and to enter a good trades job but that resulted in the ex screaming at me saying "that is child abuse, everyone needs an education" and my now 19 year old no longer talking to me - brainwashing at it's finest. sigh.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
        The questions are can a child just apply to school without a path in mind?
        With no set idea is CS still payable?
        Child has never had a part time job even so maybe a little scared of finding a full time job.
        Yes, of course it is! With no Gr. 13 anymore in the province we are pushing them out younger into post secondary. Kid can apply to a 4 yr undergrad (as most do), into a generic field and then can focus in their 3rd/4th yr programs as kid finds the development path they want to focus on.

        or the kid can get a job at Timmie's. I've heard huge career development available within that company.
        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
          Kid could work part time while figuring out what they want. Or they could work full time at a regular job (ie. Tim Hortons or something like that) and figure out what they want.

          Its not unreasonable to tell your kid to figure out their life. This is good parenting. Otherwise you end up with a 20 something spending ten years finding themself.

          Recommend kid see a career counselor and then sit down with kid and look at different employment options, schools, program of study and what works. Going away to school adds another 5,000 to 10,000 to the cost. They should be working to earn money for that.
          that is what the one parent wants the soon to be 18 year old to do. Take a year off, work full time and decide what they want to do. Both parents are high school grads but never took it any further.

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          • #6
            No, I dont think they have to decide exactly what they are taking. Lots of people start in arts and science general coursesand then move into a professional college after. I am not sure about this, but I woudl suspect that if child works for a year then goes back to school at 19 or 20 probably still have to pay child support. Maybe not if it was 5 years later and child closer to 25, I am not really sure where the line between child and adult is when it comes to school and child support. Maybe when a school would consider you a mature student?

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            • #7
              do you have something in your agreement already about postsecondary?

              Comment


              • #8
                Nothing written in agreement. The lawyer said that there wasn't a need for it as it is understood how post secondary is treated regarding CS.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                  Nothing written in agreement. The lawyer said that there wasn't a need for it as it is understood how post secondary is treated regarding CS.
                  Understood possibly by the courts but, not by the parents. That is the problem generally.

                  Child not residing with you. You don't get CS.
                  Child is residing with you there is a possibility of getting CS (dependent on a number of factors).

                  CS for a child of the marriage is way harder to determine than say a child who is <17 living 70% of the time with one parent.

                  Furthermore, the change in CS is often a HUGE change in circumstances for the parent. Many parents who separate with young children set up a lifestyle of dependency on the monthly CS. If they have a child that goes away for University and enters a cooperative education program where the child works the gravy train ends for them. The adjustment to their finances could be devastating.

                  I suspect a number of the "ex-partner is upset because child support is ending and won't agree that it should end and now we have to go to court" is the result of parental dependency on child support and has NOTHING to do with the "needs of the child". It all comes down to ignorance by the resident parent receiving support.

                  CS: Parent receiving 1,850 in child support.
                  Separation: When one child was 4 and the other 1 year old.
                  Situation: First child is entering the Waterloo Computer Science Cooperative Education Program at 18. The child will be living in residence.
                  CS Receiving Parent Residence: Sudbury, Ontario
                  Non-resident parent: Paying 100% of university and living expenses. (1%-er)
                  Resident (CS receiving) Parent's Income: 45,000 per annum

                  For 14 years the mother has received $22,200 tax-free child support. Support payment on September 1st will be reduced to $925 per month when the first child attends school out of town. In another 3 years that will result in 0$ as the second child will be going to a similar program.

                  The reality of this situation is that once this child enters this program they will have job placements. Placements will probably be in other areas where commuting from Sudbury is well... Impossible so they will need to reside somewhere that is not the previous resident parent's home. CS not payable. They will never be coming home and CS will never trigger again. (As it should not!)

                  Someone who had an additional 22,000 in disposable income now does NOT have this tax-free money.

                  Mother after-tax on 45,000 income is $35,677.44.
                  Mother after-tax income 35,677.44 + CS of 22,200 = $57,867.44

                  CS is not forever sorry to say. (Unless you have a disabled child.) Many CS receiving parents do not realize this. When they go from having 57,867.44 in disposable income to just 35,667.44. That is when shit hits the fan when 40% of their disposable income disappears.

                  Lawyers whitewash the reality of the situation. They are not social scientists. Something its "easy" and people "get it". Considering most lawyers are 1%ers they are often not the best to advise on what is "understood" by the remaining 99% of the population.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Two great points in here:



                    Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                    Furthermore, the change in CS is often a HUGE change in circumstances for the parent. Many parents who separate with young children set up a lifestyle of dependency on the monthly CS. If they have a child that goes away for University and enters a cooperative education program where the child works the gravy train ends for them. The adjustment to their finances could be devastating.


                    ...

                    CS is not forever sorry to say. (Unless you have a disabled child.) Many CS receiving parents do not realize this. When they go from having 57,867.44 in disposable income to just 35,667.44. That is when shit hits the fan when 40% of their disposable income disappears.

                    Yes, as CS is intended for the child, it includes having a house with sufficient bedrooms. And what happens when the CS is no longer coming in to help with that? It's like the system expects the recipient parent to instantly downsize their house the day the children head off to post-secondary.


                    But it's also the parent's responsibility to see that reduction coming and PLAN for it.


                    Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                    Lawyers whitewash the reality of the situation. They are not social scientists. Something its "easy" and people "get it". Considering most lawyers are 1%ers they are often not the best to advise on what is "understood" by the remaining 99% of the population.

                    Yes, it's hard to expect a judge or lawyer who makes $100s an hour (off YOU) to understand how badly suddenly losing $20k a year is going to mess up your life. To many lawyers, that's just one less vacation a year.

                    Comment

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