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How long do i need to pay spousal support?

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  • How long do i need to pay spousal support?

    Wife and i are planning to get divorced. We have been married for 4 years (both of us are 32 years old) with a 3.5 years old son.

    We agreed on joint custody and the child is going to live with the mom (my parenting time mainly falls on weekends). Everything else including property division and child support are pretty much agreed upon. The only thing that seems a bit of gray to me is the spousal support. I am currently making $90K from my job and my wife is making zero. She has been a homemaker since we got married 4 years ago. She did somehow sacrifice the 2 of the 4 years to take care of the child so i can focus on my career but it's her choice not to work in the latter two years of the marriage (my son went to daycare when he turned two).

    According to my lawyer, i probably need to pay her spousal support for two years (which is 1/2 of the length of marriage). However it's possible that the duration may get extended given the fact that she wants to chase some unrealistic business dreams rather than getting a full time job. Wife has a degree from a famous university and had about 2 years of work experience prior to the marriage. She also recently finished a one-year certificate program in design.

    I am wondering if any folks who's been in similar situation could shed some light on what the duration of SS would normally be?

  • #2
    Lesson learned.....if you salary bracket is high, DON'T shack up with someone that earns zero. One has to protect themselves from potential SS

    In the case of a 4yr marriage, ideally you are looking at 1/2 yr SS for each year of marriage. However, as you pointed out in your post above, you can find yourself paying SS longer if the other party decides to milk the situation with no intentions of getting a job.

    Comment


    • #3
      Yeah, i really learned this lesson. However, i don't actually have a choice financially as my salary will continue to grow in the future while she is determined NOT to find a job (she wants to chase some unrealistic business dreams). In addition, she is actually the one who initiated the divorce.

      If two-year of SS is at the lower end, what would the duration be for higher end? For a 4-year marriage, i am not looking at anything as crazy as 10+ years of SS, right?

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      • #4
        SSAG with child support has the long-term duration set until your son turns 18, regardless of the length of marriage. We're in the same boat where the ex is refusing to look for work, and has claimed inability to work for various reasons including previous litigation, starting her own business, and now mental health.

        Are you going through mediation/arbitration, or is this through the courts?

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        • #5
          OMG, it's kind of scary. However SSAG is only a guidance right? In reality, i doubt that the court would order someone to pay SS for 10+ years for a 4 year marriage especially the recipient is only 32 years old and is highly educated.

          We are currently working on a separation agreement and trying to avoid the court.

          Comment


          • #6
            Her choice or not by letting her stay home you agreed to it. You advanced due to her being home, so chances are you will have to pay some SS. How long depends on the advise you get and proper wording in any agreement.

            1- it is up to the other party to prove entitlement to SS

            2- if there is SS firm end date plus SS ends cohabitation 1yr or marriage

            Suggest you look at case law on similar situations, it will give you an idea of what to expect if it drags out.

            Why are you not doing 50/50 access for child?

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            • #7
              Could you please point me to a direction as to where i can find the case laws?

              I am actually thinking about fighting for the 50/50 (called shared custody, right?). Let's say if i did get it, would i lose it in the future if can't take care of the child 50% of the time? (will try my best but it's kind of hard to guarantee 50% of parenting time as i have a job after all).

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              • #8
                If you don't exercise your parenting time on a 50-50 basis yes you can lose it. Many, MANY parents have jobs and still maintain a 50-50 parenting schedule. If you don't get this now, you will have a hard battle in the future. Your son is old enough to be in day care on your time, that will also allow mom to find at last a part time job.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by littlemonk View Post
                  Could you please point me to a direction as to where i can find the case laws?

                  I am actually thinking about fighting for the 50/50 (called shared custody, right?). Let's say if i did get it, would i lose it in the future if can't take care of the child 50% of the time? (will try my best but it's kind of hard to guarantee 50% of parenting time as i have a job after all).
                  http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/

                  select your province
                  select court

                  type in search words under "document text." In your case "short term marriage spousal support" or "married 4 years spousal support" or "short term marriage spousal support quantum" and so on....

                  Spousal Support is typically addressed near the end of the document.

                  Here is a case which I obtained from CanLII using the above-mentioned parameters:

                  http://www.canlii.org/en/on/onsc/doc...&resultIndex=4

                  Before you know it you will be searching like a Pro - good luck!
                  Last edited by arabian; 11-10-2016, 05:36 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by littlemonk View Post
                    We agreed on joint custody and the child is going to live with the mom (my parenting time mainly falls on weekends).
                    So, you are a terrible parent, and only the mother is capable of raising your child. What is wrong with you? Do you not want to be with your child?


                    Let's say if i did get it, would i lose it in the future if can't take care of the child 50% of the time? (will try my best but it's kind of hard to guarantee 50% of parenting time as i have a job after all).
                    Either you are a parent or you are not. Either you make it work or you don't. Every divorced father that I know with 50% time works full time, and we just make it work. Perhaps our careers don't take an optimal trajectory, but we are fathers first.

                    Be a father.

                    This post has been heavily edited, my original version was very mean. You're welcome.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks for the advice Janus! I do have a special career which makes it hard for the 50% of parenting time....but like you said i should make it work just like many other divorced fathers. I like my child and i am going to fight for 50/50 even at the expense of sacrificing my career advancement. After all, being a good father is more important than having a successful career.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Not everyone wants to be a full-time parent...or 50/50 or even 40/60...

                        In this situation the poster is accustomed to wife staying home to raise the child (now 3.5 y.o.). So traditionally he has likely been a 30 percent hands-on parent todate.

                        This is reality with many people. No one fits in the "mould" and therefore should not, in my opinion, be judged on their honesty.

                        Better the child spend time with the parent who sincerely wants to spend time with him than a parent who doen't (and puts kids in daycare with strangers) merely for money IMO.

                        This is a single-income family. Hopefully they will be able to avoid an out-and-out costly legal dispute and assist each other in the transition (which may take many years before everyone is comfortable with a 50-50 regime).

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks a lot! This is indeed very helpful!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            What is more important to you, chasing dollar signs in order to pay your ex more, or spending quality time with your child?????

                            Time with a child is priceless and you should make it your priority over hanging out with your buddies, going out having fun or chasing some new skirt who will probably end up doing the same to you.

                            You can maintain 50/50 whilst still having a bit of fun on the side on your non-parenting week. I have been doing it for years now

                            Originally posted by littlemonk View Post
                            Could you please point me to a direction as to where i can find the case laws?

                            I am actually thinking about fighting for the 50/50 (called shared custody, right?). Let's say if i did get it, would i lose it in the future if can't take care of the child 50% of the time? (will try my best but it's kind of hard to guarantee 50% of parenting time as i have a job after all).

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Make your negotiation starting point 50-50 access, CS by table half offset, no SS and an income imputed to her of what she made before and could therefore make again. That is a perfectly fair and reasonable expectation to have of modern university educated young people.

                              The kid has been in daycare even while mom was unemployed? Clearly, the child can continue in daycare and you both can work. It's her choice what form of work that entails. Her marriage is breaking up and she's going to be a single mom. She no longer has the luxury of pursuing a dream career and expecting a partner to support it.

                              Let her negotiate you down from there. Be willing to be 'slowly persuaded' to pay SS for two years. That's plenty of time for her to try to make her dream career work and then find a proper job when it doesn't, and the child will definitely be in school by the end of it, if he isn't already, so that excuse is gone too.

                              You could also let yourself be negotiated to have a Right of First Refusal clause, which means that if you are unable to care for the child due to your work obligations, you have to offer the time to your ex before hiring a babysitter. That way, your 50-50 access time is enshrined in the agreement, but you recognize that she may be willing and able to help you out sometimes. Just try not to make it a regular thing or she could come back and say she has more than 60% time.

                              If she had died instead of breaking up with you, you'd have to work and figure out child care. This is similar, but easier. Maybe you can work more hours on days you don't have the kid, and fewer hours on days he's with you.

                              By letting her 'negotiate' you down to things you appear to me to be willing to agree with already, she'll think she's won and be more likely to sign.

                              SS duration goes to high end based on the age of the youngest child, due to some outdated notion that women are unable to be employed while they have a kid in school. But the Divorcemate software doesn't tell you that when it spits out that mindboggling duration number. I certainly hope a judge wouldn't order such a thing in your situation.

                              Comment

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