Let me see if I have this straight:
The mom once called the cops after the dad picked up the kids, claiming he had abducted them. Luckily, he had the agreement that proved it was his weekend, but it was traumatic for the kids.
The mom sometimes calls the dad to come get the kids on her access time.
The dad wants the extra time, but is afraid to do so for fear of having the cops called on him again, or having it used against him in some other fashion.
The dad decides that he'll only take the kids on mom's access time if she makes the request in email so he has it writing for proof later that he has not abducted them.
She calls up the paternal grandparents instead.
The grandparents happily come take the kids.
The dad is concerned that this can still blow up on him and the ex can use it against him or the grandparents somehow.
Instead of criticizing the wording or belittling the dad for letting his fears prevent him from seeing the children, can we offer some advice for minimizing the potential havoc the mom could wreak on him when he takes the kids?
I like the suggestion of sending a confirmation email, but the mom could still not answer it and say that he made it up and she never asked him to take the kids. What could protect him from false allegations later? He could record the pickups on a digital recorder, right? He could make sure to say something like "I'll take them for the evening and send them to school tomorrow? Does that work for you?" Then he'd have her on record being okay with him taking them.
The mom once called the cops after the dad picked up the kids, claiming he had abducted them. Luckily, he had the agreement that proved it was his weekend, but it was traumatic for the kids.
The mom sometimes calls the dad to come get the kids on her access time.
The dad wants the extra time, but is afraid to do so for fear of having the cops called on him again, or having it used against him in some other fashion.
The dad decides that he'll only take the kids on mom's access time if she makes the request in email so he has it writing for proof later that he has not abducted them.
She calls up the paternal grandparents instead.
The grandparents happily come take the kids.
The dad is concerned that this can still blow up on him and the ex can use it against him or the grandparents somehow.
Instead of criticizing the wording or belittling the dad for letting his fears prevent him from seeing the children, can we offer some advice for minimizing the potential havoc the mom could wreak on him when he takes the kids?
I like the suggestion of sending a confirmation email, but the mom could still not answer it and say that he made it up and she never asked him to take the kids. What could protect him from false allegations later? He could record the pickups on a digital recorder, right? He could make sure to say something like "I'll take them for the evening and send them to school tomorrow? Does that work for you?" Then he'd have her on record being okay with him taking them.
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