A Nation of Wimps
http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...1/nation-wimps
Very interesting (and long) article. The courts are now faced with having to sort through the "evidence" (worries/anxieties) of over-protective / over-anxious parents in custody and access disputes...
Depending on the level of parental anxiety it may be driven by deluded thinking (anxious/nervous thinking) or by a parent who deceives to "gain control" over the other parent. Equally concerning and equally as dangerous in the family court system in my personal opinion.
As explained by Leonoff and Montague, in the Guide to Custody and Access Assessments ( Toronto: Carswell, 1996) at 357 is:
Quote cited in the following case law (para. 65):
N.S. v. D.A.S., 2003 CanLII 2448 (ON SC)
Date: 2003-10-22
Docket: 705/99
Parallel citations: 49 RFL (5th) 219
URL: CanLII - 2003 CanLII 2448 (ON SC)
Citation: N.S. v. D.A.S., 2003 CanLII 2448 (ON SC)
Parental anxiety may lead to an over-anxious parent projecting their personal history (childhood) leading to a possible distortion in thought processes in the mentally vulnerable over-protective / over-anxious parents who view their overreaction as protectiveness. This could all be a learned behaviour from childhood and resulting from themselves (false accusers) of being raised by over-protective / over-anxious parents themselves...
Good Luck!
Tayken
Parents are going to ludicrous lengths to take the bumps out of life for their children. However, parental hyperconcern has the net effect of making kids more fragile; that may be why they're breaking down in record numbers.
By Hara Estroff Marano, published on November 01, 2004 - last reviewed on February 19, 2013
By Hara Estroff Marano, published on November 01, 2004 - last reviewed on February 19, 2013
http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic...1/nation-wimps
In his now-famous studies of how children's temperaments play out, Harvard psychologist Jerome Kagan [b]has shown unequivocally that what creates anxious children is parents hovering and protecting them from stressful experiences...
...
Parents need to abandon the idea of perfection and give up some of the invasive control they've maintained over their children. The goal of parenting, Portmann reminds, is to raise an independent human being. Sooner or later, he says, most kids will be forced to confront their own mediocrity. Parents may find it easier to give up some control if they recognize they have exaggerated many of the dangers of childhood—although they have steadfastly ignored others, namely the removal of recess from schools and the ubiquity of video games that encourage aggression.
...
There are kids who are worth worrying about—kids in poverty, stresses Anderegg. "We focus so much on our own children," says Elkind, "It's time to begin caring about all children."
...
Parents need to abandon the idea of perfection and give up some of the invasive control they've maintained over their children. The goal of parenting, Portmann reminds, is to raise an independent human being. Sooner or later, he says, most kids will be forced to confront their own mediocrity. Parents may find it easier to give up some control if they recognize they have exaggerated many of the dangers of childhood—although they have steadfastly ignored others, namely the removal of recess from schools and the ubiquity of video games that encourage aggression.
...
There are kids who are worth worrying about—kids in poverty, stresses Anderegg. "We focus so much on our own children," says Elkind, "It's time to begin caring about all children."
Depending on the level of parental anxiety it may be driven by deluded thinking (anxious/nervous thinking) or by a parent who deceives to "gain control" over the other parent. Equally concerning and equally as dangerous in the family court system in my personal opinion.
As explained by Leonoff and Montague, in the Guide to Custody and Access Assessments ( Toronto: Carswell, 1996) at 357 is:
There is a gradient between the parent who consciously deceives and the one who is deluded in belief and whose accusation are built of several elements: personal history projected unto the relationship; shock and betrayal turned into malevolent mistrust of the other; aggression and hatred; fears based on regressed violent behaviour at the termination of the marriage; comments made in emotional turmoil; suggestibility enhanced by outsiders who are keen to find sexual abuse in men; wishes to denigrate, humiliate and punish the ex-spouse; distortion in thought processes in the mentally vulnerable parents who view their overreaction as protectiveness; and finally, a fervent desire to win a custody case and to be rid of the person forever.
N.S. v. D.A.S., 2003 CanLII 2448 (ON SC)
Date: 2003-10-22
Docket: 705/99
Parallel citations: 49 RFL (5th) 219
URL: CanLII - 2003 CanLII 2448 (ON SC)
Citation: N.S. v. D.A.S., 2003 CanLII 2448 (ON SC)
Parental anxiety may lead to an over-anxious parent projecting their personal history (childhood) leading to a possible distortion in thought processes in the mentally vulnerable over-protective / over-anxious parents who view their overreaction as protectiveness. This could all be a learned behaviour from childhood and resulting from themselves (false accusers) of being raised by over-protective / over-anxious parents themselves...
Good Luck!
Tayken
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