Interesting site....maybe I'll learn something.
About me....divorced 6 years. Live with partner 2 for 3 years. He has two kids who after a year battle (ended last year) gave up shared custody to his X who then immediately moved 1 hour away (another sad story for another time).
My X and I live in same neighbourhood. He remarried a lady that is fine as an adult, but not a mother. She was never married before or had kids so does not really parent our daughter that well (meaning she has a lot of unfounded advice for our girl) but my X of course backs her up. I would label her as quite the 'control' freak.
It has been 6 months now that my girl has come to me asking that she see me more than the 50/50 she now shares with dad.
I thought it was a phase, but she started getting very persistent through the summer to the point of crying every time she left me.
I wrote her father mid summer. Pointed out some concerns-like his wife not allowing my daughter to phone. She was 'allowed' too, but they were only once per week and the step-mom would interrupt them every time. By the summer, this women was getting upset everytime my girl mentioned me or that she wanted to phone me.
Anyhow, this came up in the letter about the 'control' the stepmom was trying to impose plus all the rules that were just out of line. Kids need to be kids. In that house there are rigid bed times, how much food to eat, not allowed to wear any cloths twice.
Our girl just does not feel respected, loved etc with her dad anymore.
I have always taken her to the doctor, dentist, etc. Involved in all of her sports and activities.
Dad is fine enough-I do however believe now that it is in the best interest of our girl if she is with me more.
He concentrates on how much he spends on her and totally misses that it is not about the money. She plays sports but he does not watch her.
She loves to read, but he does not buy her books. I got her ears pierced (because HE wanted them done), but does not buy her earrings.
Since the letter, things have gotten out of control. He blames me for her change in heart and does not believe she wants to see me, that I put this in her head. She apparently has said 5 times in a row "I want to see mom" and he still thinks I put this in her head. Originally...this was news to me too.
Anyhow, she now cries when she comes to me (saying how she missed me the past week), cries when she leaves (it will be an awful week) and sometimes without warning mid-week if she thinks about it. I am so concerned about what is going on at dad's house that has her so sad.
He won't agree for her to be with me more (in denial?) so I had my lawyer write him to agree to the findings of a child physchologist. So far he said he would agree to go and hear what our girl has to say.
About me....divorced 6 years. Live with partner 2 for 3 years. He has two kids who after a year battle (ended last year) gave up shared custody to his X who then immediately moved 1 hour away (another sad story for another time).
My X and I live in same neighbourhood. He remarried a lady that is fine as an adult, but not a mother. She was never married before or had kids so does not really parent our daughter that well (meaning she has a lot of unfounded advice for our girl) but my X of course backs her up. I would label her as quite the 'control' freak.
It has been 6 months now that my girl has come to me asking that she see me more than the 50/50 she now shares with dad.
I thought it was a phase, but she started getting very persistent through the summer to the point of crying every time she left me.
I wrote her father mid summer. Pointed out some concerns-like his wife not allowing my daughter to phone. She was 'allowed' too, but they were only once per week and the step-mom would interrupt them every time. By the summer, this women was getting upset everytime my girl mentioned me or that she wanted to phone me.
Anyhow, this came up in the letter about the 'control' the stepmom was trying to impose plus all the rules that were just out of line. Kids need to be kids. In that house there are rigid bed times, how much food to eat, not allowed to wear any cloths twice.
Our girl just does not feel respected, loved etc with her dad anymore.
I have always taken her to the doctor, dentist, etc. Involved in all of her sports and activities.
Dad is fine enough-I do however believe now that it is in the best interest of our girl if she is with me more.
He concentrates on how much he spends on her and totally misses that it is not about the money. She plays sports but he does not watch her.
She loves to read, but he does not buy her books. I got her ears pierced (because HE wanted them done), but does not buy her earrings.
Since the letter, things have gotten out of control. He blames me for her change in heart and does not believe she wants to see me, that I put this in her head. She apparently has said 5 times in a row "I want to see mom" and he still thinks I put this in her head. Originally...this was news to me too.
Anyhow, she now cries when she comes to me (saying how she missed me the past week), cries when she leaves (it will be an awful week) and sometimes without warning mid-week if she thinks about it. I am so concerned about what is going on at dad's house that has her so sad.
He won't agree for her to be with me more (in denial?) so I had my lawyer write him to agree to the findings of a child physchologist. So far he said he would agree to go and hear what our girl has to say.
- Not sure how long that will take.
- Found out he is more concerned with how much he will have to pay me.
- I never realized that even 2 more nights with me would have him paying more, so that was never on my mind.
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