Well ...
After thinking that we had custody ironed out at 50/50 ... seems my spouse wish's to recind on that and go for joint custody whereby I see the kids every second weekend from Friday to Sunday.
At 50/50 custody, I had agreed to keep the house and buy her out cause the numbers could have worked out ... now, with her wanting joint custody, the numbers change as does my ability to keep the house. I informed her that with joint that selling the house was our only option as I would not be able to carry the cost of maintaining a single family dwelling. She seems to think that selling the house is MY issue to contend with after agreeing to keep it based on 50/50, however now that she has changed her mind, what options are there when it comes to the house????
This is so ... tough, at times. I know many would say go for 50/50 but really, it boils down to 'What is best for the kids' ...
At this point, there a some things I do know what I want ...
I DO NOT want this to get adversarial.
I DO want the kids to have a decent standard and upbringing.
I DO believe she is and will be a great mother and caregiver at least for the next few years ... they are young and constantly call for mom!
My concern is that if I hand her 'joint custody' ... I know she gets full CS based on table amount ... which is great cause I do want my kids to have a decent life but what happens WHEN I want the agreement changed to eventually state 50/50 when the kids are at an age and maturity level for this to happen? Remember, I DO NOT want this getting adversarial ... I know of better ways to disperse $$$ and that is to the family.
I guess at this point for her, 50/50 is out of the question cause she feels it's not in their best interest cause of their age. Fine. My concern is what happens if I agree to joint of soul custody today, but wish to have this changed in the future? Her lawyer basically stated in the draft seperation agreement that if her or I could not agree on Custody that our only option was court! So to court today or to court in the future, is the question?
So, joint custody and I have a small say and give her full CS amounts or soul custody and trust she will do what is right by the kids and pay her full CS and move on with my life?
I'm so torn!
Oh Lord.
Hubby
After thinking that we had custody ironed out at 50/50 ... seems my spouse wish's to recind on that and go for joint custody whereby I see the kids every second weekend from Friday to Sunday.
At 50/50 custody, I had agreed to keep the house and buy her out cause the numbers could have worked out ... now, with her wanting joint custody, the numbers change as does my ability to keep the house. I informed her that with joint that selling the house was our only option as I would not be able to carry the cost of maintaining a single family dwelling. She seems to think that selling the house is MY issue to contend with after agreeing to keep it based on 50/50, however now that she has changed her mind, what options are there when it comes to the house????
This is so ... tough, at times. I know many would say go for 50/50 but really, it boils down to 'What is best for the kids' ...
At this point, there a some things I do know what I want ...
I DO NOT want this to get adversarial.
I DO want the kids to have a decent standard and upbringing.
I DO believe she is and will be a great mother and caregiver at least for the next few years ... they are young and constantly call for mom!
My concern is that if I hand her 'joint custody' ... I know she gets full CS based on table amount ... which is great cause I do want my kids to have a decent life but what happens WHEN I want the agreement changed to eventually state 50/50 when the kids are at an age and maturity level for this to happen? Remember, I DO NOT want this getting adversarial ... I know of better ways to disperse $$$ and that is to the family.
I guess at this point for her, 50/50 is out of the question cause she feels it's not in their best interest cause of their age. Fine. My concern is what happens if I agree to joint of soul custody today, but wish to have this changed in the future? Her lawyer basically stated in the draft seperation agreement that if her or I could not agree on Custody that our only option was court! So to court today or to court in the future, is the question?
So, joint custody and I have a small say and give her full CS amounts or soul custody and trust she will do what is right by the kids and pay her full CS and move on with my life?
I'm so torn!
Oh Lord.
Hubby
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