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  • Travel Consent

    Once again my ex wishes to refuse travel consent. I've booked a cruise next year (Jan) and the kids will miss 7 days of school.

    She is refusing to sign the travel consent. Our order states

    18. If either party plans a vacation outside of Canada with the children, the travelling party shall provide the other party of draft letter or travel consent authorizing the children to travel, for the other party to execute and have notarized. The draft letter shall be provided at least 30 days prior to travel. Such letter shall be signed and and notarized and provided to the travelling parent within 7 days of receipt. Consent to travel shall not be unreasonably withheld.
    She claims denying the kids travel during school time is not unreasonable. Although she has agreed many times in the past. So I'm not sure now why it's unreasonable.

    I'm going to send her the registered letter with consent twice and wait the 7 days for it to be returned.

    After she refuses both of those requests whats the proper way to proceed with court.

    Contempt Order or Motion to Change?

    Which forms need to be submitted for each.

    Thanks

  • #2
    Hmmm...it could be spitefulness on her part. Now, does your proposed travel time encroach into her parenting time? If not, arm yourself with the divorce order, and if anything comes up, just show them this and explain it's your parenting time.

    The order will help remove any doubt as to your intent of just a simple family trip.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by serendipitous View Post
      Hmmm...it could be spitefulness on her part. Now, does your proposed travel time encroach into her parenting time? If not, arm yourself with the divorce order, and if anything comes up, just show them this and explain it's your parenting time.

      The order will help remove any doubt as to your intent of just a simple family trip.
      Yes it's part of her parenting time but we both agreed we could do this in our minutes of settlement as long as 60 days notice is provided I've given her more than a years notice. No parenting time is required to be made up.

      Her life is an absolute mess right now. She got knocked up by a guy she had been seeing for 2 weeks. He told her to abort or never see him again. She didn't and hasn't. She's bipolar and off all her required medication as they are not safe while pregnant. Her life is a roller coaster.

      Comment


      • #4
        Well...you obviously know why she is doing this, and from the excerpt you posted earlier from your divorce order, there is no mention of if the travel cuts into the other parent's parenting time.

        It you were say going away for a week on your parenting time, then this might not be an issue, but because it cuts into her...that seems to be where the problem lies based on what you have posted.

        Don't get me wrong, she is obviously not doing what is in the best interest of the kids, and instead just doing this to stick it to you i.e. in a go F yourself kind of way.

        Sounds like she is about to find herself a single mother again, with what sounds like a would be father that wants nothing to do with it. She sounds like one of those who don't want to work, and just want to live off handouts.

        Originally posted by FB_ View Post
        Yes it's part of her parenting time but we both agreed we could do this in our minutes of settlement as long as 60 days notice is provided I've given her more than a years notice. No parenting time is required to be made up.

        Her life is an absolute mess right now. She got knocked up by a guy she had been seeing for 2 weeks. He told her to abort or never see him again. She didn't and hasn't. She's bipolar and off all her required medication as they are not safe while pregnant. Her life is a roller coaster.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by FB_ View Post
          Once again my ex wishes to refuse travel consent. I've booked a cruise next year (Jan) and the kids will miss 7 days of school.

          She is refusing to sign the travel consent.

          She claims denying the kids travel during school time is not unreasonable.
          She's probably being unreasonable now due to the stress in her life and being off her meds. If she isn't in a position to take a cruise with the kids, her first reaction is going to be to try to make sure you can't either.

          So you have to counter all her arguments.

          I can't help you with court forms, but I would make sure you present her with a plan to show how you intend to make sure the children don't fall behind in school work during their week away. Write out how you intend to get homework from the teacher and have the kids work on the material before/during/after the vacation. If you have a plan for their missed schoolwork, then missing school itself becomes less unreasonable. It also helps if the vacation is going to be a good experience (exposure to foreign cultures, seeing new geography and animals, trying new physical activities, etc) instead of just hanging at Disney doing mass consumer commercialism.

          If, after being presented with this plan, she still denies consent and you end up in court, then you have demonstrated that you tried to address her concerns and had the children's best interests in mind. Who looks unreasonable then? Not you.

          Comment


          • #6
            I personally think the courts will accept that her not signing is not unreasonable. Child will miss time with mom, and child will miss school.

            For me it would depend what grade child is in. If they are in Jk-3 then the work is easily made up, make sure to ask the school when its time and let mom know you will be working on school work. Personally though it it were higher grades I would have an issue with child missing a week or more of school.

            Present mom with the information and offer her make up days of her choosing within a certain time period for the days she will be missing see if she changes her mind.

            I think if this goes to court it will totally depend on the judge you get.

            School has been a big issue for me personally and the judge just told my daughters mother yesterday that absolutely no school may be missed for any activity and that if she is sick must have a medical note.

            Since you are asking for time away from school and on mom's time I would try to reason with mom and negotiate.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you all for your responses.

              Again this has nothing to do with her missed time. Her only complaint is school (at this time). It would be grade 2 and grade 5. I have always made sure the kids get their homework and do it on previous trips. However it is our school boards policy not to give homework in these situations. My ex knows this policy because she works for the school board. It does seem to be very teacher dependent however.

              Comment


              • #8
                You won't by any chance be going with someone and their kids on this planned trip? If so, this could be another reason why she is not playing ball.

                Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                Thank you all for your responses.

                Again this has nothing to do with her missed time. Her only complaint is school (at this time). It would be grade 2 and grade 5. I have always made sure the kids get their homework and do it on previous trips. However it is our school boards policy not to give homework in these situations. My ex knows this policy because she works for the school board. It does seem to be very teacher dependent however.

                Comment


                • #9
                  "Consent to travel shall not be unreasonably withheld." nono. This only means that she can't say when you ask why she denies the travel that "just because". But saying "because it is school time for the kids" or "because they speak a foreign language in Cuba" or "because it is too hot there" is already a REASON, so the consent is not unreasonably withheld.
                  (on the other note: booking a trip without a written consent and without a good cancellation insurance is a big nono.)
                  So how to solve this issue? Haggle with ex. Offer her more time or money. If that doesn't work, you need to go back to the court and ask the judge to approve the trip. (I had to do this once.) Fill out the "change order" form and ask the court to take out that "consent" thing while you ask to approve this trip.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What i would is get a letter from the teachers saying that it is ok and then present her and eventually the courts with those letters.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Schools don't usually get involved in custody related matters.

                      Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                      What i would is get a letter from the teachers saying that it is ok and then present her and eventually the courts with those letters.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ohhhh snap!! Yes .. Link's hit it on the money. Have a nice convo with the teacher's. In your correspondence ask for a list of all work that may be missed. Ask if there's anything pertinent they will be missing. (In their grades .. I'm guessing no).

                        Dig up any past correrspondence's (i.e - letters, e-mails) b/w you and ex where she agreed to a vaca during school and make this a HUGE part of your case. Why was it okay then?

                        1. Letter from teachers saying "go ahead .. not missing much" (Exhibit)
                        2. Correspondence's b/w you and ex when she "did" consent during school. (Exhibit)
                        3. Best Interest stuff. (Family there? Good experiences? They WANT to go?)

                        Last May when I went for my EM (god remember that?) there was a guy before me in the EXACT situation as you. Wanted a trip to New York. Ex said uh-uh! They have school. But she allowed it in past. Judge was irked with mom. The guy got the vaca rather easily. He knew his stuff though. He was reciting Volume 12, Tab 4, etc.

                        Motion to Change to help define "reasonable" given the circumstances as you've ALWAYS done this. Ex has ALWAYS agreed. And explain that you don't want to have to come to court every time you want to go on a vaca during school time like you ALWAYS have with her consent in the past.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by serendipitous View Post
                          Schools don't usually get involved in custody related matters.
                          Dont make it about custody.

                          "Mrs. ___, I was pondering the notion of a vacation this coming____ with my child ___. I wanted to touch base to make sure nothing pertinent was being missed".

                          He's not asking the teacher to pick sides. It's just a great parent making sure the trip wouldn't be hindering any academics ... the very thing the mother is concerned about.

                          GREAT document for the CR. Along with her past consents during school of course.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This would be a challenge to do now as they will be in a new school year.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                              This would be a challenge to do now as they will be in a new school year.
                              Hmm.. good point.

                              Comment

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