Rioe, my mother has a mental illness and my father is a selfish cheater. They didn't work together. When they split my mother denied my father any access and he disappeared. My childhood was spent with one parent who could not cope and we had to learn to manage early. Im not complaining because that brutality helped me become who I am today.
However, if my parents hadn't been so hell bent on punishing each other for not being good partners, my childhood may have been different. My father was a good enough dad and would have had to pull up his socks if he had been in a 50/50 situation. My mother would have had to learn to share and work with him in that situation. I don't expect it would have been perfect picket fence leave it to beaver but we would have grown up in a situation with both our parents. As it stands, much of their "disagreement" has had a big impact on our psychological well being. My mother sees my father as a womanizing asshole. My father sees her as a crazy bitch. They both love their kids but hate each other more.
The bottom line is that some parents love their kids and some parents hate their ex spouse more than their love for their kids.
My partners ex started their divorce with "you'll never see your kids again". It came true. He spent tens of thousands trying to enforce an agreement she never had any intention of following. If there had been a designated 50:50, enforcement options to keep it at that, and psychological tools to protect the kids, things would be very different.
However, if my parents hadn't been so hell bent on punishing each other for not being good partners, my childhood may have been different. My father was a good enough dad and would have had to pull up his socks if he had been in a 50/50 situation. My mother would have had to learn to share and work with him in that situation. I don't expect it would have been perfect picket fence leave it to beaver but we would have grown up in a situation with both our parents. As it stands, much of their "disagreement" has had a big impact on our psychological well being. My mother sees my father as a womanizing asshole. My father sees her as a crazy bitch. They both love their kids but hate each other more.
The bottom line is that some parents love their kids and some parents hate their ex spouse more than their love for their kids.
My partners ex started their divorce with "you'll never see your kids again". It came true. He spent tens of thousands trying to enforce an agreement she never had any intention of following. If there had been a designated 50:50, enforcement options to keep it at that, and psychological tools to protect the kids, things would be very different.
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