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Shared Parenting - 50/50 Joint Custody

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  • Shared Parenting - 50/50 Joint Custody

    Hi All,

    Hoping to start a thread for all of us to post:

    1. Successful Case law for Shared Parenting/Joint Custody
    2. Successful Case law for Shared/Parallel Parenting
    3. Successful arguments for Shared Parenting and joint custody
    4. Successful arguments for debunking all the myths why shared/joint/parallel parenting does not work.

  • #2
    SPIG - the arguments for Shared Parenting

    Shared Parenting - the arguments for

    (see also Shared Parenting - overcoming the arguments)
    The arguments for Shared Parenting which have been successfully used in UK courts are that:

    It ensures continuation of family life for the child, with the advantage of nurture from both parents rather than just one.
    It reassures the child that he has two parents, and although they live in separate places, he definitely has a home with both of them.
    It dispels the notion that only one parent is "caring" and that the other is "errant" or "absent".
    It ensures that one parent is not unfairly burdened with the responsibility of discipline whilst the other is relegated to (or marginalised as) the fun or contact parent.
    It provides the opportunity for children and parents to develop meaningful and lasting relationships - in place of the artificiality and frustrations of contact .
    It affirms the parents in their belief that they both have an ongoing role in their child's life.
    It places both parents on an equal footing with schools, doctors and the world at large - who might otherwise only want to deal with the residential parent.
    It confirms that no matter what, each parent wants to, and is able to, provide a home for their child.
    It reassures the child that in the event of one parent dying he still has a home to go to.
    Without such an order, if one parent dies, the child would not automatically go to live with the other parent, but would be left with whoever they were living with at the time or handed over to a guardian - a poor substitute for a natural parent.
    It enables both parents to claim the additional personal tax allowance (and possibly one parent benefit, family credit and additional child benefit), thus increasing the income available to the children (only applicable for two or more children). [More about Tax & Benefit advantages]
    Note: Section 11(4) of the UK Children Act 1989 recognises that a child may live in more than one home and permits an order for shared residence.
    (From an item by David Cannon originally published in Access magazine No 22)

    Last updated - 15 September 1999

    Comment


    • #3
      Arguments for are one thing...

      Sadly reality is another....50/50 is not easy to get.

      I dont want to start another massive gender bias debate but far as I am concerned theres a clear one in the courts.

      I was told today that because my sons mom opposed increaded access time (every second weekend from Friday at 5 to Sunday at 5 with every Wednesday eveing) guess what...I get none!
      No problems with substance use, no problems with violence or disobeying court orders...but get this.....shes been putting off a bilateral assessment for 9 months! All sorts of good reasons too like she cant commit to it because shes in school.....the assessors will be biased against her, its totally unnessecasry etc.

      We exist in a system where its too easy to get what you want by citing conflict....sadly a lot of unmarried fathers have absolutely 0 chance from the get go....unless they got $50,000...in which case it may be a game changer.

      This system needs to realize that it becomes seriously pedantic when it forces two parties to come to an agreement.

      Hoping for a fair shot one day.....

      Comment


      • #4
        I am still awaiting the factum that my lawyer had prepared for my motion next Wednesday.

        Once I receive it i will share what I can. I have not seen it but I believe it should contain some of what you are asking for.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by NeverGreen View Post
          We exist in a system where its too easy to get what you want by citing conflict....sadly a lot of unmarried fathers have absolutely 0 chance from the get go....unless they got $50,000...in which case it may be a game changer.
          But one would assume that a level of conflict already exists if parents are having to go to court in the first place. Otherwise they would not be there asking a Judge to make a decision for them. I think the courts recognize that conflict is there, but make a decision on whether joint custody should be awarded based on whether the parents are able to surpass their own differences and communicate effectively for the best interest of the child. You don't need to text/call your ex or even see them face to face, but should be able to communicate regularly via email or use a software program like Family Wizard.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Nadia View Post
            But one would assume that a level of conflict already exists if parents are having to go to court in the first place. Otherwise they would not be there asking a Judge to make a decision for them. I think the courts recognize that conflict is there, but make a decision on whether joint custody should be awarded based on whether the parents are able to surpass their own differences and communicate effectively for the best interest of the child. You don't need to text/call your ex or even see them face to face, but should be able to communicate regularly via email or use a software program like Family Wizard.
            Maybe my observations are not a representative sample, but it seems that most people are unaware of how the system works before they get into it, and assume they need lawyers and court by default. Then once the lawyers get involved, they usually ramp up the conflict to the point court is necessary.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Rioe View Post
              Maybe my observations are not a representative sample, but it seems that most people are unaware of how the system works before they get into it, and assume they need lawyers and court by default. Then once the lawyers get involved, they usually ramp up the conflict to the point court is necessary.
              True enough.

              I guess what I was trying to get across, is that courts are not likely to be surprised to learn there is conflict between the two parties. If "citing conflict" was enough of a reason to award custody to one parent against another or oppose a 50/50 access arrangement then one would see courts consistently awarding sole custody. Which is obviously not the case.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by FB_ View Post
                I am still awaiting the factum that my lawyer had prepared for my motion next Wednesday.

                Once I receive it i will share what I can. I have not seen it but I believe it should contain some of what you are asking for.
                That would be great FB_.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I think the basis for any argument for equal parenting would be in the law, in particular section 24 of the Children's Law Reform Act, Section 2:

                  Merits of application for custody or access

                  24. (1) The merits of an application under this Part in respect of custody of or access to a child shall be determined on the basis of the best interests of the child, in accordance with subsections (2), (3) and (4). 2006, c. 1, s. 3 (1).

                  Best interests of child

                  (2) The court shall consider all the child’s needs and circumstances, including,
                  (a) the love, affection and emotional ties between the child and,
                  (i) each person entitled to or claiming custody of or access to the child,
                  (ii) other members of the child’s family who reside with the child, and
                  (iii) persons involved in the child’s care and upbringing;
                  (b) the child’s views and preferences, if they can reasonably be ascertained;
                  (c) the length of time the child has lived in a stable home environment;
                  (d) the ability and willingness of each person applying for custody of the child to provide the child with guidance and education, the necessaries of life and any special needs of the child;
                  (e) the plan proposed by each person applying for custody of or access to the child for the child’s care and upbringing;
                  (f) the permanence and stability of the family unit with which it is proposed that the child will live;
                  (g) the ability of each person applying for custody of or access to the child to act as a parent; and
                  (h) the relationship by blood or through an adoption order between the child and each person who is a party to the application. 2006, c. 1, s. 3 (1); 2009, c. 11, s. 10.


                  Combing through each point above while going through your own situation should be the way to go. Try to hit each and every point as much as possible thinking in terms of evidence.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Also of great use is:

                    The Best Interests of the Child

                    by Dr. Warren Farrell. I highly recommend it, there is a book and an audio interview that simply puts together a meta study (a collection of over 200 international peer researched studies collected over 25 years) that explains why, after intact families, equal shared parenting is totally in the best interest of the child, except for cases of abuse and alienation.

                    Dr. Warren Farrell

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Great link, I was looking at the evidence kit. I`m new to all this, I`m pro-se and self representing myself. how would I submit this for evidence in my case and at what point.(I`m at the absolute beginning stage) Is it admissible here in Canadian courts?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You know, the best way is to have him be an expert witness himself, which he will do. I couldn't afford a lawyer or him regardless.

                        They talk about how it could be possibly admitted but I'm still unsure. Still, use it to make arguments for your case, without a doubt.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Unless your willing to call him as a witness, don't expect to use the material as the other side will claim that it's untested.
                          A better approach is to use the material itself to educate yourself on making better decisions as parents.

                          "Your honor, after separation I began the process of figuring out what was in our children's best interest. I have read many books, many papers, many studies. And from all that I believe I'm actually a better parent than I was before the breakup.
                          As I now understand that keeping families as close to intact as before is in the best interests of the children. Our child have lost the family they once had, they shouldn't also morn the loss of a parent as well. Study after study that I have read, points to the fact that if parents That have conflict if they are able to shield the children from the conflict then they can parent effectively for the BIOC, I have learned that although I don't believe that there is a lot of conflict. I understand and respect that my ex does. In that way I have done the following A,B,C in order to reassure my ex. My goal your honor is to help my ex as they help me to raise our children into productive members of society. The only difference your honor is that we now live in two homes."

                          You can use the material if you can find reverent case law where he has been called at trial and the material as been used. However again the other side will claim that the situation is different. So use generalities.

                          "Your honor, the county of California has put a lot of time and research into producing a set of guidelines that they use to make custody and access decisions, it is also biased on the BIOC, surely a reasonable person would agree that children in California live a similar life as children in "put in your province" there we can reasonably be sure that if these work in California that they are likely to work here.".

                          Comment

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