Joint custody

[OB1]

I was wondering if I have my kids for the whole month on my holidays should I still have to pay child support? It will cost me X dollars to have them for the month.
Also My ex has just informed me that she wants to agree on some sort of access, she telling me she will allow the kids to stay with me every Wednesdays and every second Friday, Saturday, Sunday and to bring them back Monday. I asked my Lawyer to send her a letter telling her I want my children one week each as that is what my children want.
I know she will say no to this fearing she won't get her child suport payment anymore. I find that unreal. There should be a mandatory question asked by the Judge. "If I was to give your husband Sole custody would you agree on shared parenting?" Why is it men in general agree to joint custody but women always want sole. Just my observations.

[Duped]

Take this as you may..

I neither know your situation or details however I can say that if you and your children both want alternating week custody, make it happen. From my experience and research, only in extreme circumstances will a judge mandate another custody regime if alternating weeks is requested. Remember you are 50% their parent and as such have a right to 50% time with them.

The child support issue is covered in the joint shared custody provisions of the child support guidelines where the income of the lower is reduced from the income of the higher and the higher income earner pays child support based on the difference in incomes.

Consider if

You make 50,000,
Your ex makes 20,000
50,000-20,000=30,000
Child support would be paid by you based on a 30,000 income.

I may not have touched on all details however that is how it is supposed to work in my case.

Remember, your children have as much right to spend ti9me with you as they do with her.

Good luck.

Duped

[OB1]

Thanks Duped,

I hope the judge will grant equal parenting, as that is what my children want and I want. I will go all the way with this since I feel as a father I should be entitled to see my kids as much as their mom. I would never hold her back from seeing her kids, and feel she shouldn't do it to me. I don't understand how the courts can let parents use their kids as pawns.
Unfortuntely for me my ex doesn't work, she has made no attempt to look for a job in the last 15 month's. She does however have lots of time to got to parties and go to bars.
I no I will haveto start paying her spousal support once we end up in court I just hope it's not forever. I was married for 9 years to this women who caused me nothing but grief.
Sorry to sound so harsh

[Duped]

Something to consider...

In my case my ex who ran away with my child and wanted only sole custody, filed a motion for sole custody, my lawyer wanted to file for sole custody as well, however I was not of that opinion, I decided to file for no more and no less than 50% joint shared alternating week custody so that the judge would see that I was being reasonable. I included in my statements to the court that to file for and achieve sole custody would be wrong as it would be depriving my child of sufficient access to his other parent, which is exactly what she was already doing. The judge agreed that we are both parents and neither parent has a right to deny the child equal access to the other.

Best of luck

Duped

[logicalvelocity]

OB1,

custody and access is based on the child's best interest. You have to keep in mind that it is the Child's right to have a meaningful relationship and not the parent's.

I would recommend you have the office of the children's lawyer involved to convey and put forth your children's wishes. Without such involvement, their wishes would be treated as heresay.

lv

[OB1]

Thanks Duped and LV,
I have told my lawyer that I would be asking for the office of the children’s lawyer to get involved.
I truly believe in what you said Duped, My ex also asked for sole custody and I have repeatedly asked for joint. It makes allot of sense when you told the judge that both parents should equally spend time with their kids.
It took both parents to conceive these kids why should only one determine how they’re raised or how much time they can spend with you. No court should give Sole Custody unless there is abuse.

[Duped]

third party involvement...

Although I agree with logicalvelocity completely, be sure you want to have your life put under the microscope, because if the office of the children's lawyers gets involved, that is exactly what will happen.

A judge will decide if you are allowed to request the involvment of the office of the children's lawyer.

You will fill in a lengthy application form.
So will your ex. if she too wants them involved.

the office of the children's lawyer will assign a social worker to do the assessment of the situation and gather information. This process involves meeting with you, meeting with your ex and meeting with the children. Then, there will be in home observations of how you and your ex interact with your children. The social worker would give a priliminary report and if all terms are accepted, the childrens lawyer would submit a report to the court.

Be aware that a majority of the social workers assigned to this type of case are or seem to be pro mother.

In my case I had one such social worker, who critically examined and commented negatively on all aspects of my life and at the same praised my ex for attempting to take my child away from me and moving a great distance away. Her final report reflected negatively on me for being a stay at home parent while my child was young. Ironic as it sounds, she later praised a mother in another case for being a stay at home mom, that mom is a good friend of mine and our children often played together when we met at the park.

The choice is yours, and I hope you get what is best for your children.

Good Luck

Duped