I'm almost ready to sign the separation agreement however there are a few things outstanding and I thought someone could help clear up what's worth fighting for and what's not. Or rather am I being reasonable because my ex husband feels I'm being mean and spiteful and out to get him.
1. Child visitation - in April we agreed to me having primary custody and my ex gets Wed 8pm to Thurs 8am and every weekend alternating days eg Fri night to Sat evening or Sat night to Sun evening...this is because he wouldn't agree to every other weekend as I wanted. When the visitation started his mother wanted to spend some extra time with my daughter and so I said fine she can drop her off at sometime in the morning. Then my husband wanted to see her at lunch so now they bring her back Thursdays around 2pm. He wants this in the agreement that his mother will care for her from Thurs 8am - 2pm. This was a verbal addition that I agreed to for transition purposes so long as my daughter is not in school or daycare but he wants it in the agreement now. I am reluctant to put it in becuase there are times when his mother can't care for her and then it fall on me to ensure she has care. I am willing to put in that so long as it doesn't interfere with daycare or school or any other regular activity she may have access Thurs mornings. My ex of course won't go for this and wants to push to have his mother in there. There is another paragraph that covers reasonable access for grandparents. Does he really have a leg to stand on here? Am I unreasonable? He said he would rather our daugher was with the grandma than in school/daycare. I think that's ridiculous.
2. Additional access on holidays - he is Jewish and wants her on the eve of such holidays. I'm fine with that. However now in addition to the high holidays (hannukah, passover, rosh hashanna etc) he wants her on the day of israel's independence and a bunch of others I have never heard of. In 11 years he has never observed these so I removed them as another paragraph covers him for additional reasonable access. Is this wrong? Can he fight it?
3. Child support - he wants to pay based on his base salary throughout the year. Then do an adjustment for bonuses and other income as per line 150 of the tax return in the following year. Should I agree to this. He does not want to pay me based on last years line 150 as this could fluctuate each year. Any thoughts?
There's more but these are the main points. Any feedback would be appreciated. I realize that it's a negotiation tactic however it has to be a fair agreement and he can't just pull stuff out of his ass for the heck of it. And I'd just like to know if any of this stuff is worth the fight? I think what i'm asking for is not unreasonable and there are other paragraphs that cover it in a more generic term.
1. Child visitation - in April we agreed to me having primary custody and my ex gets Wed 8pm to Thurs 8am and every weekend alternating days eg Fri night to Sat evening or Sat night to Sun evening...this is because he wouldn't agree to every other weekend as I wanted. When the visitation started his mother wanted to spend some extra time with my daughter and so I said fine she can drop her off at sometime in the morning. Then my husband wanted to see her at lunch so now they bring her back Thursdays around 2pm. He wants this in the agreement that his mother will care for her from Thurs 8am - 2pm. This was a verbal addition that I agreed to for transition purposes so long as my daughter is not in school or daycare but he wants it in the agreement now. I am reluctant to put it in becuase there are times when his mother can't care for her and then it fall on me to ensure she has care. I am willing to put in that so long as it doesn't interfere with daycare or school or any other regular activity she may have access Thurs mornings. My ex of course won't go for this and wants to push to have his mother in there. There is another paragraph that covers reasonable access for grandparents. Does he really have a leg to stand on here? Am I unreasonable? He said he would rather our daugher was with the grandma than in school/daycare. I think that's ridiculous.
2. Additional access on holidays - he is Jewish and wants her on the eve of such holidays. I'm fine with that. However now in addition to the high holidays (hannukah, passover, rosh hashanna etc) he wants her on the day of israel's independence and a bunch of others I have never heard of. In 11 years he has never observed these so I removed them as another paragraph covers him for additional reasonable access. Is this wrong? Can he fight it?
3. Child support - he wants to pay based on his base salary throughout the year. Then do an adjustment for bonuses and other income as per line 150 of the tax return in the following year. Should I agree to this. He does not want to pay me based on last years line 150 as this could fluctuate each year. Any thoughts?
There's more but these are the main points. Any feedback would be appreciated. I realize that it's a negotiation tactic however it has to be a fair agreement and he can't just pull stuff out of his ass for the heck of it. And I'd just like to know if any of this stuff is worth the fight? I think what i'm asking for is not unreasonable and there are other paragraphs that cover it in a more generic term.
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