Oink- yes some parents are not willing to allow other adults to make decisions or discipline their children.
I made it clear to my partner during our dating stage, that if things were going to work with us we needed to come to a common ground when it came to the children. There were basically two options...
One- the children were his responsibility, he was responsible financially, emotionally and what not for the children... I would basically just be an adult in their life- I knew I would grow to love the children, but the rest of it was up to him.
Two- I would treat the children like my own, with that meant I would help with the discipline, financial aspect, emotional aspect and what not... they would be just like my own.
We choose option two... there are still times when I step back and let Dad deal with the children and there are times where Dad steps back and lets me... it is a partnership when it comes to kids.
Others may not agree, but it really seems that parents these days are afraid to discipline their children, nothing is every their children's fault and what not. Heck, teachers are told not to mark in red anymore, kids are not allowed to fail grades, etc... kids are basically taught that there is not such thing as failure... that is a real problem and why some may not want to get involved with those with kids.
I have a very close group of friends, they all have children... when we are all together, it doesn't matter which child is acting up, the first adult that sees it, deals with the child...either telling them to knock it off, or issuing a time out... there are usually 6 children and they each know that it doesn't matter who says what, they are to listen to the adults... it is that whole, it takes a village to raise a child. They are taught to respect their elders. When the children's Mom had a bf, the kids told us much they didn't really like that he made them clean up their toys... Dad immediately told the children that whether they like it or not, if Mom's bf tells them to do something they are expected to do it. We never heard an issue about it again.
I made it clear to my partner during our dating stage, that if things were going to work with us we needed to come to a common ground when it came to the children. There were basically two options...
One- the children were his responsibility, he was responsible financially, emotionally and what not for the children... I would basically just be an adult in their life- I knew I would grow to love the children, but the rest of it was up to him.
Two- I would treat the children like my own, with that meant I would help with the discipline, financial aspect, emotional aspect and what not... they would be just like my own.
We choose option two... there are still times when I step back and let Dad deal with the children and there are times where Dad steps back and lets me... it is a partnership when it comes to kids.
Others may not agree, but it really seems that parents these days are afraid to discipline their children, nothing is every their children's fault and what not. Heck, teachers are told not to mark in red anymore, kids are not allowed to fail grades, etc... kids are basically taught that there is not such thing as failure... that is a real problem and why some may not want to get involved with those with kids.
I have a very close group of friends, they all have children... when we are all together, it doesn't matter which child is acting up, the first adult that sees it, deals with the child...either telling them to knock it off, or issuing a time out... there are usually 6 children and they each know that it doesn't matter who says what, they are to listen to the adults... it is that whole, it takes a village to raise a child. They are taught to respect their elders. When the children's Mom had a bf, the kids told us much they didn't really like that he made them clean up their toys... Dad immediately told the children that whether they like it or not, if Mom's bf tells them to do something they are expected to do it. We never heard an issue about it again.
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