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  • break up on joint mortgage

    Hi everyone
    Am hoping for some advice.

    Myself and fiance are breaking up and bought a house together 2 years ago. Recently found out about drug use and infidelity.
    At this point I'd much prefer offering to buy her out as the house is in a very good location, in an up and coming neighbourhood with tons of potential down the road.

    Wondering what all is entailed in removing someone from a mortgage?
    Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
    Thanks.

  • #2
    Well, you can't just remove her from the mortgage. Her name is on the deed, so she has a right to the property. Have you talked to her about buying her out? If you can agree on a buy out, then you'll likely need a lawyer to effect the deal and remove her from the deed and mortgage. I never done this before, but a lawyer was required when I bought my place, so I'm assuming a lawyer would be required to change all that paperwork.

    Comment


    • #3
      Have you confirmed with the bank that you even QUALIFY to hold the mortgage on your own? If her income was combined with yours to determine the lending limit, you might be out of luck! Talk to the bank... and/or shop around to some other institutions also.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by dinkyface View Post
        Have you confirmed with the bank that you even QUALIFY to hold the mortgage on your own? If her income was combined with yours to determine the lending limit, you might be out of luck! Talk to the bank... and/or shop around to some other institutions also.
        Valid point.

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi guys.
          Thanks for the responses.
          I know that the financing won't be an issue with the bank, as her income bared no difference in me getting approved for the mortgage in the first place. Originally we had agreed that i would get the mortgage as she had a bad credit history. Looking back, dumb me said "id like for both of ua to be on this as it is ours."
          Speaking more from a legal standpoint of what all is involved to have her removed.
          The buy out is certainly an option we'd explore.

          Comment


          • #6
            all you have to do is agree on a buyout value and then a quick trip to the lawyer for each to sign some papers. It wasnt as involved as when you first buy the place. I know my ex just had to sign a paper giving his consent to being removed off the house deed etc.

            It really isn't that bad or hard.

            Comment


            • #7
              Spoke to my bank re this. Even Income wise the banks actually employ some form of point system and a spouse with little or no income can still contriubute to your approval say if thier credit rating is tops in the system. The bank will also want assurances that you have all your expenses included - this would specifically include the finincial ones, CS, SS etc. All this will lower the limitfor your loan. It is an unstable time for you so expect the bank to perhaps ask for a little more documentaion - only with respect to your ability to pay after your divorce is settlled.

              You can get two independant house appraisers to find the fair price - your bank has a list - you can get one from two different banks, perhaps a friend has needed this service recently???

              The rest is choosing the lawyer to get the paperwork straight. You must get the discharge from your existing mortgage so there will be fees from the bank as well for ending the original loan.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by ddol1 View Post
                Spoke to my bank re this. Even Income wise the banks actually employ some form of point system and a spouse with little or no income can still contriubute to your approval say if thier credit rating is tops in the system. The bank will also want assurances that you have all your expenses included - this would specifically include the finincial ones, CS, SS etc. All this will lower the limitfor your loan. It is an unstable time for you so expect the bank to perhaps ask for a little more documentaion - only with respect to your ability to pay after your divorce is settlled.

                You can get two independant house appraisers to find the fair price - your bank has a list - you can get one from two different banks, perhaps a friend has needed this service recently???

                The rest is choosing the lawyer to get the paperwork straight. You must get the discharge from your existing mortgage so there will be fees from the bank as well for ending the original loan.
                but if you keep the mortgage with the same bank they may waive the discharge fees, just tell them that either they do that or you will take your business elsewhere.

                Comment


                • #9
                  thanks so much for your insight standing on the sidelines.
                  greatly appreciated and great advice.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Actually, if you are in a good relationship with your bank/bank manager fees can be waived even if a mortgage is not taken right away. A lot has to do with circumstance and what you can negotiate in good faith. I find my bank has always come to be very fair - and usually if not always waive thier fees for all my business. During this time I admit to having problems with the Visa - not in not having the money but the ability to get it right (ie know which day it is and when to pay it and......) they have waived everything and we changed a few things to make it easier for me to get it right!!!! But the bank also knows I am having medical issues along with the divorce stuff and just keeping up with what the ex has tried to do is a full time job at times!!!!

                    My bank is tops and that is because we do have an honest relaptionship over the years. Lots of words for make the effort to get to know your bank employees and they will do wonders to help you with many things........ They want your business.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Hi all,
                      Well it appears that this may get ugly. Have made the offer for the buy out and just have a feeling this is going to go south.
                      So, she is still living in the house, I am with friends right now while this all gets worked out. Knowing that with both of our names tied to the mortgage any missed payments should she decide she is going to play hard ball, would damage myself as well, so looking for advice as to how to approach this from a rational stand point.
                      Let me also say that a large reason for this break up is her newly found drug habit. So, not exactly the most rational of people to deal with right now.

                      My thought is this. Basically, if she decides that she is just going to be spiteful, and a sale is imminent. If she's living in the house and all of the bills are in my name, say that I will be forced to have my name removed from all accounts (heat, hydro, cable etc.) and that she would have to get them reactivated, which then would entail her to pay all of the set up fees again and pay the bills on her own. I know she can't afford the house on her own (she makes less than 1/3 of the monthly mortgage/bills payments currently, and can barely afford that), but I also know that if it gets to this point that indeed the whole process will sour that much more.

                      Obviously, trying to think of a way get through to her, in the state she's in with the drug use that A) the offer is very fair and B) that it isn't as cut and dry as "I'll stay in the house until it sells while you stay elsewhere and pay for 70% of the bills." The house was a fixer upper when it was bought, with a lot of work still to be done.

                      So, any advice? Has anyone gone through this before?

                      I am certainly trying to as amicable and fair as possible, but dealing with someone that certainly is not the person I'd asked to marry me.

                      Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        have to say (in a very small way) leave the drugs out of it as it really will not change what you will do. but welcome to my club! And many others as well. At the get go do not do anything rash but do seperate your finances and cut off any further risk to your maney, your credit and your future. Get into control of your finances - close all joint accounts now. you are at the start of a long stressfull road that you will need to keep your head and be smart.

                        First off I would get whatever financials you can get together - even before - call around and get a lawyer or two consultations for you to learn what your rights are - and start to make your moves........ Your house will still be a big concern no matter who lives in it........get in to see the lawyer now to get on top of any issues you may have with the home - it is all about protecting your rights.

                        future you will need to be specific to tyour relationship, years together, children etc. The better the info the better the advice.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          thanks so much ddol1, greatly appreciated. wow...sorry to hear that you're going through (or have gone through) this same mess! I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy I tell ya.
                          It's been a 7 year relationship, we were engaged for a mere 7 months and no children...I guess I can only thank the skies above the marriage never happened and no children at this point!
                          Fist thing I did do was seperate my finances from hers (sorry for leaving all of these details out...a bit of a rookie here). The joint account still exists only for mortgage and bill payment purposes as all of the accounts are set up for payment through that. I transfer in, she transfers in...that is all. Should I look to have the mortgage/bills switched to come out of another account do you think?
                          I certainly do not like your comment "you're in for a long stressful road" I tell ya.
                          I will most certainly contact a lawyer next, thanks. I wasn't sure at what point in this process I should do so, but will most certainly heed your advice and get on that now.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            just guessing here but if you have joint accounts etc together then i would guess you been together awhile and it may nolonger be 'his' money and 'her' money , it or some of it is 'common law' money ...

                            so, it could be in question what your using to buy out the other party and my experience is banks just dont want to get involved till the dust settles

                            it could be very clear to you you brought $n into the relationship and intend to leave with $n but bank may not see it same way

                            thats my experience though my situation involved children and a spouse of +10yrs , my bank of +30 years pretty much reacted 'show me the order or get out of my office' ...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              hi pokeman
                              well, thankfully all finances are completely separate now...so any funds used for a buy out would be mine. the joint acc is just there facilitate bill payments at this point.
                              to me, honestly, i am not looking at what i came in with and leaving with right now. i am solely looking at a fair and amicable buy out as opposed to sale of the property and hoping that after 7 years that two people can come to an agreement that works for both parties as opposed to being spiteful about the end of a relationship.
                              call me crazy though...haha.
                              thanks for your reply and insight, greatly appreciated!

                              Comment

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