Hi,
I’m planning on separating/divorcing my wife who I met 10 years ago when she was 27. She will be turning 37 this year. We dated for 5 years and were married for 5 years.
There were lots of ups and downs over the last 10 years. We basically live like roommates now but we are still on good terms with each other. We’ve talked about separating many times and I’m pretty sure we’d be able to go through with the divorce/separation without fighting.
But the one thing that I’m having trouble getting off my mind is the fact that I feel as though I’ve wasted 10 years of her life. She’s always wanted to have children. At first I put it off because I didn’t want to have any, then my mental health really deteriorated and I was off work for a while on stress leave, and now I mostly put it off because I realize I would not be able to handle children. And maybe that’s ok.
Here’s my issue: I sort of feel like I owe my wife more than 50% because of all of the time I’ve wasted and I wonder if anyone on the forum here might agree with me. I technically could take my 50% share of the equity in the home (I also made the 20% down payment with my own money). But I do feel that after all that I’ve put her through, I should just give her my share of the equity as well, at least to pretty much guarantee that she’ll be able to keep living at the house and won’t have to go through all the stress of ‘starting over’ again.
I guess other people might say: don’t feel bad about the past, what’s done is done, take your half, etc.
I’m just wondering if any one else here has given more than 50% or all of their share to their ex because they felt guilty, and if it helped you feel better about the separation/divorce.
I’m planning on separating/divorcing my wife who I met 10 years ago when she was 27. She will be turning 37 this year. We dated for 5 years and were married for 5 years.
There were lots of ups and downs over the last 10 years. We basically live like roommates now but we are still on good terms with each other. We’ve talked about separating many times and I’m pretty sure we’d be able to go through with the divorce/separation without fighting.
But the one thing that I’m having trouble getting off my mind is the fact that I feel as though I’ve wasted 10 years of her life. She’s always wanted to have children. At first I put it off because I didn’t want to have any, then my mental health really deteriorated and I was off work for a while on stress leave, and now I mostly put it off because I realize I would not be able to handle children. And maybe that’s ok.
Here’s my issue: I sort of feel like I owe my wife more than 50% because of all of the time I’ve wasted and I wonder if anyone on the forum here might agree with me. I technically could take my 50% share of the equity in the home (I also made the 20% down payment with my own money). But I do feel that after all that I’ve put her through, I should just give her my share of the equity as well, at least to pretty much guarantee that she’ll be able to keep living at the house and won’t have to go through all the stress of ‘starting over’ again.
I guess other people might say: don’t feel bad about the past, what’s done is done, take your half, etc.
I’m just wondering if any one else here has given more than 50% or all of their share to their ex because they felt guilty, and if it helped you feel better about the separation/divorce.
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